The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => The DUmping Ground => Topic started by: franksolich on December 07, 2015, 05:46:32 PM
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Welcome to the balloting thread for the Top DUmmies of 2015!
Actually, this thread doesn’t have any ballots, as voting’s by secret ballot only; one’s to e-mail one’s selections to
ralphwiggumcave@outlook.com
Voting used to be public, on a thread such as this, but it gave lurking primitives too much of a reasonable idea how each of them were doing—and if they weren’t doing well, they stopped coming here—and the selections are supposed to be a surprise.
Using the secret ballot keeps them coming back, over and over again, until it’s over.
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One is asked to vote for ten primitives for Top DUmmie.
One is also requested to rank one’s top five choices (the second five can merely be listed, nothing more), from first to fifth.
One’s top choice is then given 5 votes, one’s second choice 4 votes, one’s third choice 3 votes, and one’s fourth and fifth choices 2 votes. And then the lower five get one vote each.
Weighted voting is used so as to ensure that only legitimate bona fide primitives are selected. Further on down the roster, it doesn’t matter, but high up on the roster, it matters a great deal.
So don’t simply list ten primitives; rank the top five, and list the second five.
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One is asked to vote for one primitive for the William Rivers Pitt award, the “Willie.â€
The “Willie†is given to the most-memorable primitive since the emergence from under the seas of Skins’s island on January 20, 2001. It’s a one-time award, previous winners not eligible. Please select only from the ballot, no write-ins.
2014 DainBramaged
2013 undergroundpanther
2012 Alan Grayson
2011 nadinbrzezinski
2010 BouncyBall (tie)
2010 William Pitt (tie)
2009 TomInTib
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Voting takes place beginning now until circa suppertime Tuesday December 15.
After one has voted, but then later wishes to change a vote or two or three, one can do that just so long as it’s done by the deadline.
There will be a twelfth award, the franksolich, but that’s not one that’s voted on; It’s awarded the primitive whom franksolich deems worthy of Top DUmmiehood but was overlooked by the people.
Awards will be dispensed the week between Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve, with the Top DUmmie of 2015 being the final, and biggest one.
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Okay, so the obvious question; if voting’s by secret ballot only, why a thread for which public comments are solicited?
Some like their votes to be public, and this is the place to do it. But remember, votes listed on this thread are not counted as votes; to be counted, votes must be e-mailed to the address given above.
Others like to “campaign†for their favorite primitives, to sway the undecided voters, and this is the place to do it. Feel free to promote, boost, talk up, your favorite primitives, telling the undecideds why they deserve their votes.
Ballot to come, as soon as I’m done printing it up.
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Top DUmmies (vote for 10, ranking top 5)
1strongblackman
Aerows, the raccoon-bitten primitive
BainsBane, jugs
boston bean, one of jugs' pals
bravenak (the real one, not the fake one here)
BuzzClik. the buzzy one
cali, the bitter old Vermontese
darkangel218
diabeticman
Erich Bloodaxe BSN, who lives off his woman
fizzgig, thunderthighs
Fred Sanders
grasswire, Vikingesque Judy
Hoyt
kentuck
kpete, the rich bitch
laserhaas
malaise
Manny Goldstein, franksolich's good pal
MineralMan, the mineral-headed Minnesota Moses
mopinko, Big Mo
MrScorpio, MrsCorpio, Lamond
nadinbrzezinski, the cousin
NJCher, Ms. Vanderbilt-Astor
Omaha Steve, the big guy who's terminal
passiveporcupine
PeaceNikki
randys1, the watchman, the fake black guy
Rex
Scuba
TheMastersNemesis, Bob, Peg-Leg
Tobin S.
TorchtheWitch
trumad, truemud
valerief
William Pitt
WillyT, who's probably gay
the William Rivers Pitt award
Omaha Steve, the big guy who's terminal
Redstone, Chief S itting Bull, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive
Taverner
edited some hours later to add darkangel218 to the ballot; my sincerest and most abject apologies to her for having omitted her, it being a wholly unintentional oversight
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So many wonderful choices.
My personal favorite being the boston bean primitive.
Her stupidity is monumental. DUct tape can't fix that, but, it would muffle the sound.
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So many wonderful choices.
This is the way a complete ballot should look, for e-mailing.
These are my actual choices:
01-MrScorpio, 5 votes
02-PeaceNikki, 4 votes
03-malaise, 3 votes
04-fizzgig, thunderthighs, 2 votes
05-mopinko, 2 votes
grasswire
TheMastersNemesis
nadinbrezinski
trumad
Omaha Steve
for the "Willie" = Redstone, Chief S itting Bull, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive
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Duct tape can't fix that, but, it would muffle the sound.
Chloroform works wonders, so I hear
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You know, one "aid" to helping one decide the "Willie," for the most memorable primitive, is to take this:
(http://i1100.photobucket.com/albums/g419/Eferrari/december2015/rushmore_zpszjbbnjql.jpg) (http://s1100.photobucket.com/user/Eferrari/media/december2015/rushmore_zpszjbbnjql.jpg.html)
and then imagine whose ugly mug belongs where George Washington's is.
If I had photoshopping skills, I'd put Chief S itting Bull in place of George Washington, California Peggy in place of Thomas Jefferson, the Bostonian Drunkard in place of Theodore Roosevelt, and the cousin nadin in place of Abraham Lincoln.
If Skins ever wants to build a Mount Rushmore of the four most famous primitives, I'm in for a hundred bucks, to help it along.
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You know Dorkio and Judy are checking this thread several times a day or more.
Reading the above posts is making me want to vote for Redstone since I think he would look great on Mt. Rushmore.
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Ralph will also accept votes via private message here.
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Ralph will also accept votes via private message here.
Yeah, I forgot to mention that, plus overlooking one candidate (since corrected).
Now one can see why I had to drop doing this; the memory slips too often.
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Soooo ..... Has the voting begun? :yahoo:
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Soooo ..... Has the voting begun? :yahoo:
Yeah, it has.
Sorry about the sputtering beginning.
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I'm disappointed. I didn't get à n "I voted" sticker. :argh: k
:-) <<<voted
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I'm disappointed. I didn't get à n "I voted" sticker. :argh: k
:-) <<<voted
:rotf: :lmao:
:thumbs:
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I'm disappointed. I didn't get à n "I voted" sticker. :argh: k
:-) <<<voted
Will this do?
(http://i66.tinypic.com/qqwtw4.jpg)
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Will this do?
(http://i66.tinypic.com/qqwtw4.jpg)
The DUmmies would prefer a brown one. :rofl:
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The DUmmies would prefer a brown one. :rofl:
A brown hand . . . :whistling:
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Keep the voting up, my friends! I've already been overwhelmed with private messages & emails.
Ralphie decided to add a special award this year. It doesn't involve a vote or any specific DUmmy. But I believe it will be appreciated & understood.
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What about the "franksolich" award ?
I think it should be renamed the "nadin's cousin coach franksolich" award", or "the cousin" award for short.
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What about the "franksolich" award ?
I think it should be renamed the "nadin's cousin coach franksolich" award", or "the cousin" award for short.
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-2q-7fUtwJ-Q/VPMFzBrawTI/AAAAAAAACL4/QQqMQnCqQ6Q/w506-h554/11001939_804353106315893_2559219987482361105_n.jpg)
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I did actually keep a small piece of paper that had my choices on it.
Bottom 5:
Aerows
Malaise
kentuck
Omaha Steve
kpete
Now, for the "Cream Of The Crap:"
5. boston bean
4. Hoyt
3. randys1
2. TheMastersNemesis
1. Who else? Nadin.
For the WRP:
Obama Omaha Steve
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#1 - randys1
#2 - TheMastersNemesis
#3 - Fred Sanders
#4 - malaise
#5 - diabeticman
bravenak
Hoyt
MrScorpio
nadinbrzezinski
boston bean
The William Rivers Pitt award - Omaha Steve
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Back for the award festivities. :popcorn:
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Back for the award festivities. :popcorn:
Welcome back--but please stay a while, too.
:bawl: <<<franksolich when you're gone.
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Back for the award festivities. :popcorn:
:cheersmate: :yahoo: :-*
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My number 1 DUmmie/primitive/PonP, dut dut da dah...
Buzzy
He's actually not number 1, he is dead last, like the nag horse at the races named toilet paper who is always wiping up the rear.
I want him to win DOTY.
my next 4...
1) Mo
2) torchy
3) coach franksolich's cousin nadin(aka "the cousin"), and
4) kpete
Next 5...
randys1
Omaha Steve
Pegleg
UGP
The New Yorker
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Every year gets tougher and tougher to decide.
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No vote for the "Willie," for the most memorable primitive 2001-2015 (who hasn't already won a "Willie")?
Remember, there's three up for it--Chief S itting Bull, Taverner, and the big guy from Bellevue.
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Back for the award festivities. :popcorn:
June :greet:
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Lurking Randy: **** you.
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Remember folks, voting closes this coming Wednesday evening circa suppertime.
Don't think your vote wouldn't count.
There's been very few runaway winners in the whole history of the Top DUmmies; more often than not, races have been decided by the margin of 1-2-3 votes. So yes, your votes would count.....if you cast them.
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My number 1 DUmmie/primitive/PonP, dut dut da dah...
Buzzy
He's actually not number 1, he is dead last, like the nag horse at the races named toilet paper who is always wiping up the rear.
I want him to win DOTY.
my next 4...
1) Mo
2) torchy
3) coach franksolich's cousin nadin(aka "the cousin"), and
4) kpete
Next 5...
randys1
Omaha Steve
Pegleg
UGP
The New Yorker
You wasted two votes here, and so I suggest you re-cast them, as you might be depriving a primitive or two a chance at Top DUmmiedom.
No write-ins are accepted, and neither the subway cat, the undergroundpanther primitive, nor the brooklynite, are on the ballot.
Sorry, but there's good reasons write-in votes aren't accepted. It's a long sordid story.
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My number 1 DUmmie/primitive/PonP, dut dut da dah...
Buzzy
He's actually not number 1, he is dead last, like the nag horse at the races named toilet paper who is always wiping up the rear.
I want him to win DOTY.
my next 4...
1) Mo
2) torchy
3) coach franksolich's cousin nadin(aka "the cousin"), and
4) kpete
Next 5...
randys1
Omaha Steve
Pegleg
UGP
The New Yorker
quote from coach franksolich...
You wasted two votes here, and so I suggest you re-cast them, as you might be depriving a primitive or two a chance at Top DUmmiedom.
No write-ins are accepted, and neither the subway cat, the undergroundpanther primitive, nor the brooklynite, are on the ballot.
Sorry, but there's good reasons write-in votes aren't accepted. It's a long sordid story.
This is harder than I thought.
In no way did I think a vote for NY Skippy would be wasted.
So, I'll keep my top 5 the same, throw out the ones in the bottom 5 who are write ins, and add...
4. boston bean
5. Hoyt
For the WRP:
Obama Omaha Steve
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quote from coach franksolich...
This is harder than I thought.
In no way did I think a vote for NY Skippy would be wasted.
So, I'll keep my top 5 the same, throw out the ones in the bottom 5 who are write ins, and add...
4. boston bean
5. Hoyt
For the WRP:
Obama Omaha Steve
My apologies, sir.
When you named "the New Yorker," I had no idea you were voting for Skippy, the now-banned NYC_SKP primitive, who's the behind-the-scenes mastermind and leader of the Bernie bullies; the first primitive who came to mind--in fact, the only one--was brooklynite. Skippy's on the ballot, and brooklynite isn't.
I dislike being anal about it, and suggest to those running the Top DUmmies this year to allow you eleven votes this because of my mistake, allowing the vote for Skippy to stand, and the vote for his substitute to count too.
Even though the big guy's not my candidate for the Willie, the award given the most memorable primitive, I'm heartened to see he's doing so well; well enough that he might actually win the award, which would be a good send-off for him as he leaves us for another time and place.
If the big guy wins, I get to write the award. Not his Top DUmmie award, which is separate, but for his Willie.
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Tough choices this year.
fizzgig
passiveporcupine
1strongblackman
mopinko
randys1
themastersnemesis
omaha steve
torchthewitch
bostonbean
aerows
....and for you lurking primitives who like to try to figure out where your'e at- my list was not in the order that I voted. :-)
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Every year gets tougher and tougher to decide.
This year was tougher than I thought it would be as well.
The low output of the primitives coupled with no clear frontrunner made it tough.
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Voted for Randy, Dorkio, Mo, Banzin and Steve for top five - fizzy, stupidblackman, Judy, Buzzy and Katy for top ten, Redstone for the Pitt but doubt he'll make it. Wasn't easy choice for me, either.
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This year was tougher than I thought it would be as well.
The low output of the primitives coupled with no clear frontrunner made it tough.
But but but.....you forgot to mention your choice for the Willie.
That is, unless you wanted to keep that a secret, which you can if you want.
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But but but.....you forgot to mention your choice for the Willie.
That is, unless you wanted to keep that a secret, which you can if you want.
Oh, right. I will tip my hand on that one: The Big Guy (who is dying).
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Oh, right. I will tip my hand on that one: The Big Guy (who is dying).
If the big guy wins, I get to write that award.
If either of the other two candidates--Taverner and Chief S itting Bull--win, Mr. Wiggum gets the honor.
<<<voted for Chief S itting Bull, but it again appears to have been a losing cause.....for about the sixth year in a row.
(If the big guy wins a Top DUmmie, which is a prize different from the Willie, Mr. Wiggum writes that one.)
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If the big guy wins, I get to write that award.
The Big Guy really deserves the award, for all of the dying he's managed to do this year.
He really needs the franksolich treatment. I'm glad you're willing to oblige him.
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The Big Guy really deserves the award, for all of the dying he's managed to do this year.
He really needs the franksolich treatment. I'm glad you're willing to oblige him.
That's the reason I'm writing the Willie, if the big guy wins it.
Not because I'm a nice guy and want to help Mr. Wiggum a little bit; he doesn't need my help.
But simply because my fellow Nebraskan needs the full-strength, industrial-strength, heavy-duty franksolich treatment.
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That's the reason I'm writing the Willie, if the big guy wins it.
Not because I'm a nice guy and want to help Mr. Wiggum a little bit; he doesn't need my help.
But simply because my fellow Nebraskan needs the full-strength, industrial-strength, heavy-duty franksolich treatment.
Reason enough to vote for The Big Guy (who is dying) for the Willie.
In the same way an angel gets its wings each time a bell rings, The Big Guy (who is dying) manages to cling to life just a little longer every time he wins something, no matter how small.
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The voting's open through tomorrow (Wednesday) evening, a day later than given in the original post. It's a day later because I was late in closing the nomination thread and opening up this one, due to unanticipated cardial circumstances.
The Big Guy really deserves the award, for all of the dying he's managed to do this year.
He really needs the franksolich treatment. I'm glad you're willing to oblige him.
You know, the big guy's been around a while, and was around a very long time before I bothered noting his existence.
He was a prominent fixture at our old home, his sponsor and biggest promoter being Library Lady; I'm sure many here remember Library Lady, whose research techniques--and results--surpassed excellence. I dunno why she went away; she would've been an invaluable contributor here.
Even after this place came into being, I usually ignored the big guy; other than that he too was born and raised here in Nebraska, he struck me as an utterly uninteresting primitive, dull and bland.
I however was moved to pity--he being a fellow Nebraskan, after all--as he got off on the wrong foot when he launched his campaign for the Bellevue city council. I knew there were external malicious forces working against him, and the big guy needed made aware of their existence, so as to counteract them.
I warned him over and over and over again.
And the big guy ignored franksolich over and over and over again.
In case one's not aware, no, the big guy never joined that august body in the third-largest city of Nebraska. Even though he actually tried two times.
Primitives ignore franksolich at their peril.
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The other thing about the big guy is that Nebraska's a pretty small state; there's not many states in the union with fewer people than Nebraska. And so we tend to know each other.
Well, not quite that; but at the very least, we tend to know someone who knows someone we don't know. It didn't for example take me but a day or two of asking around, before I encountered someone who knew the big guy very well; in fact, had gone through high school with him, had shared lockers with him one year.
I had nothing to do with his popularity among law-enforcement personnel in this state--not that he was getting into trouble with them, but because he was always loudly supporting their murderers at the same time being employed by the Omaha police department--and was hardly surprised upon learning that the sheriff of this remote isolated little county, as far away from Omaha as if we were on the dark side of the moon--was familiar with him, and had read him. In fact, could even quote the big guy almost exactly.
Of course, it works both ways; the big guy, through his own connection (and all it takes is one, although the big guy probably enjoys several), probably knows more about franksolich than franksolich knows about the big guy. If Skins's island had something equivalent to the Top DUmmies contest, I'm sure the big guy could write a whale of an award for franksolich.
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themastersnemesis for the top DUmmie for displaying at an epic level the classical charactistics of the primitives---anger, narcissism and ignorance.
Here's to you hop-a-long Bob:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-64CaD8GXw[/youtube]
I'm a sailor peg
And I've lost my leg
Climbing up the top sails
I lost my leg!
I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
I'm shipping off...to find my wooden leg
I'm a sailor peg
And I've lost my leg
Climbing up the top sails
I lost my leg!
I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
I'm shipping up to Boston whoa
I'm shipping off...to find my wooden leg