The Golden Screw
There once was a little boy with a golden screw in his navel. His parents told him that the golden screw made him special.
He never worried about it, until he got to junior high school and had to change clothes for gym. The class bully saw the golden screw, and said, "hey everybody, check out the little kid with the golden screw in his navel!" Everybody laughed at him over the next few weeks, and he came to hate that little golden screw. He became an outcast at school, as all the other kids made fun of him. Even the kids who didn't mind the golden screw couldn't hang out with him, because their parents told them they couldn't talk to the weird kid with the screw in his navel.
The little boy would say to his parents, "Why me? Why do I have to be the kid with the golden screw in his navel?" and they'd say, "It makes you an individual!" and he'd say, "Well, I don't wanna be an individual, if it means being an outcast!" and every night, he would pray to God, asking that the golden screw disappear.
One day, after a particularly bad day of ribbing at school, the kid came home and went straight to his room. He cried all evening, and couldn't eat his dinner. when he finally went to bed, he made a special prayer. He said, "Lord, please remove the golden screw. I can't stand it any longer. I'll do anything, if you'll just remove the screw. Please, God, take it away. Amen."
And that night, while he was asleep, he had a dream. In the dream, a little golden fairy flew in the window....with a little golden screwdriver. She landed in his belly, and using the little golden screwdriver, she slowly unscrewed the little golden screw and took it out and flew away.
When the little boy woke up, he remembered the dream and though, "Could it be true? Could the little golden screw be gone?" and he lifted up the covers and looked... and it was! The screw was gone! He was so happy, and so excited! and he jumped up...
...and his ass fell off.