You can retire to THE DEEP SOUTH where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2 "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin " is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has two first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Joe oBob, Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either "In yonder," "Over yonder" or "Out yonder.
6. You can say anything about anyone, as long as you say "Bless his/her heart” at the end.
7. People talk about Inshoance for their car, house, etc.