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Author Topic: Top DUmmies of 2010: #03 EFerrari  (Read 3920 times)

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Offline franksolich

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Top DUmmies of 2010: #03 EFerrari
« on: December 29, 2010, 07:26:15 PM »
In an exact duplication of last year's feat, in which EFerrari, also known as Doug's stupid ex-wife, placed third, behind the bobbling primitive and the greenbriar primitive, well, here we are again.

Doug's stupid ex-wife is 55 years old, married and divorced two times, two adult sons (from the first marriage) both of whom have served hard time (drugs), and lives south of San Francisco.  She alleges to still be from San Francisco, where she used to live, but now she lives with her ailing mother on some desert acreage in the area of San Jose, or something like that.

All the above vital statistics provided by Doug's stupid ex-wife herself.

Disclosure again is necessary; franksolich is very well-acquainted Doug's stupid ex-wife, and has been so ever since her first appearance on Skins's island in November 2004--she has, now, allegedly, 250,000+ posts, a quarter of a million--and as intimacy breeds affection, franksolich cannot be objective about Doug's stupid ex-wife, finds it difficult to say anything bad about her.

Despite her rather quaint and wistful allegations about being one of the oppressed--in this case, a Latina woman--photographs of herself, posted by herself, of Doug's stupid ex-wife during the mid-1990s, show her at the time to be of northern Mediterraneac derivation, and actually rather aesthetic.

If franksolich had been a Hollywood casting director at the time, franksolich would've immediately named her to play Messalina or Agrippina or Juliana in a movie blockbuster, so ancient-Romanesque were her features then, so aquiline her nose, so svelte her figure, so long and slender her fingers, so sharp her features.

Alas, time and drugs have not been good to Doug's stupid ex-wife.

Of all the primitives on Skins's island, Doug's stupid ex-wife has occupied more of the DUmpster than even other notable primitives, and so it's not necessary, really, to provide any links to anything she's said at any campfires this year; everybody knows she lives out in the desert, everybody knows she's one of the most enthusiastic Yugoistas, everybody knows she cooks and bakes, everybody knows her tales of woe of dealing with her ex-husband Doug the comedian, everybody knows she laughs a lot.

Doug's stupid ex-wife created no spectacular splashes on Skins's island in 2010, instead maintaining a constant ripple-rapple and flip-flap to remind the real world that she's around.....and of course the DUmpster hopes, sincerely, that she's around for a very long time to come yet.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2010, 06:40:15 PM by franksolich »
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Offline Ballygrl

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2010, 07:31:06 PM »
Oh no! I can't say anything else right now...........other than :bawl:.
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Offline Vagabond

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2010, 07:32:28 PM »
I really thought this was her year.  Oh well, maybe she'll keep striving for gold.
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Offline Splashdown

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2010, 07:36:37 PM »
Doug: The luckiest man on the internetz.... :-)
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Offline franksolich

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2010, 07:40:44 PM »
Okay, top primitive #02 to be unleashed tomorrow (Thursday), and the TOP DUmmie OF 2010 on New Year's Eve.

Having been tight up to this point, top primitives #07-#03, this is where the second primitive pulled far ahead of the pack, and the first primitive much further ahead than that.
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Offline Revolution

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2010, 10:24:42 PM »
Oh, I can feel the anticipation mounting as we narrow down to the Top Primitive. Like a 6 year old rushing down those steps toward the Christmas tree loaded with presents underneath on Dec. 25th. I can feel it! :hyper:
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Offline franksolich

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2010, 03:30:44 AM »
Quote from: Revolution on December 29, 2010, 10:24:42 PM
Oh, I can feel the anticipation mounting as we narrow down to the Top Primitive. Like a 6 year old rushing down those steps toward the Christmas tree loaded with presents underneath on Dec. 25th. I can feel it! :hyper:

While the TOP DUmmie OF 2010 might, or might not, be a surprise to most, I think primitive #02 is going to be a surprise to just about everybody.

It was a good thing I was wearing brown pants when Mr. Wiggum, before hopping aboard the airplane for Los Angeles, gave me primitive #02.  It's a PoP, but one that one never expected to get any higher than something under first or second place.
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Offline MoshMasterD

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2010, 05:10:25 AM »
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Of all the primitives on Skins's island, Doug's stupid ex-wife has occupied more of the DUmpster than even other notable primitives

Mostly about her wanting to suck Hugo Chavez's cock.
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Offline Tucker

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2010, 05:13:05 AM »
Just another day of disappointment in the life of the most stupidest person in all of the intertubes.

Sigh!
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Offline formerlurker

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2010, 06:27:57 AM »
Getting exciting as we close in on #1!!!    The lower-than-pond-scum SpEd teacher from Kansas is in the top two, and most certainly deserves to be there.
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Offline Karin

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #10 on: December 30, 2010, 07:45:32 AM »
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everybody knows she cooks and bakes
  Well, she attempts to.  She has chronicled quite a few kitchen disasters.  One was sourdough bread, which is complicated and takes a great deal of skill and possibly an experienced grandmother to offer advice.  She wasn't up to it, obviously. 

Another disaster was pancakes, which her German Shepherds wouldn't even eat.  How does one screw up pancakes?  I think I was 6 when I learned how to make those.  (Actually my mother did once, by using baking soda instead of baking powder...they tasted like Alka Seltzer). 

One of the more annoying traits of Beth can be found in the Chavezista threads.  (These threads make my head explode).  She'll spin some dictatorial power-grab as a great leap for democracy, then end her remark, "LOL" as if to say "everybody knows this, you fool."  Maddening. 
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #11 on: December 30, 2010, 09:52:41 AM »
Quote from: Karin on December 30, 2010, 07:45:32 AM
  Well, she attempts to.  She has chronicled quite a few kitchen disasters.  One was sourdough bread, which is complicated and takes a great deal of skill and possibly an experienced grandmother to offer advice.  She wasn't up to it, obviously. 

Sourdough bread is complicated?  Oh my word.  I can't even imagine her trying to boil water then.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: TOP DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2010, 11:13:37 AM »
Quote from: NHSparky on December 30, 2010, 09:52:41 AM
Sourdough bread is complicated?  Oh my word.  I can't even imagine her trying to boil water then.
Hey, try making sourdough while confined to a little camping trailer out in the desert! I doubt it's even one of those nice silvery Airstream jobs; more likely, it's a hump-backed little Holiday Rambler, with a kitchen oven that looks like the Barbie Dream House model. Also, while poor, stupid Beth was ensconced in her luxurious apartment in Sodomy City, she didn't do so much baking. There was more to do in The City: homeless bums needing to be counselled, a spaced-out, drug-addled husband needing to be slandered, a mother with property needing to be squandererd, protest marches needing to be marched. Out there in the arid wastes, there's nothing for Beth to do but search the internet for news of Yugo, stir up stuff to bake in her Barbie oven, and the DUmp, where she goes to discuss Yugo and the stuff from her Barbie oven.
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Offline poorpoorme

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Re: Top DUmmies of 2010: #03
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2010, 03:52:58 PM »
What?  No sampling of posts for Beth? 


I guess we can all google "Chavez." 
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