CHICAGO, IL — As top Democratic political leaders and influencers gathered in the Windy City for the week, the Democratic National Convention dyed the Chicago River red to celebrate abortion.
The decision was made to make the river blood-colored for the party's convention as a striking visual to emphasize the Democrats' unending commitment to slaughtering defenseless babies in as large of quantities as possible.
"Turning the Chicago River blood-red is the perfect way to celebrate our party's national convention and remind everyone just how excited we get about killing babies," said DNC Chair Jaime Harrison. "We're just bummed we couldn't use actual baby blood. Keep killin' those babies, folks!"
In addition to administering free vasectomies and abortions as part of the convention's festivities, Democrats confirmed that each night of the convention would begin with a ceremonial child sacrifice ritual. "It's important to maintain the deeply spiritual aspect," Harrison said. "Abortion forms the bedrock of what we are as a political party, so it only makes sense to showcase our celebration of killing babies in any way we can."
Officials said the red Chicago river would not only show the party's enthusiasm for baby murder but also serve as a visual preview of the tidal wave of communism the party would seek to usher in if Kamala Harris is elected. "We're all about the red," Harrison said. "The blood of innocent children… unbridled communism… bring on the red!"
At publishing time, city officials said they were unconcerned about the dyeing of the river since city streets have been running red with blood for years.
Sadly, this BEE too close to the actual truthAnd a bonus unBEElievable post:
Sad: Black People Turned Away In Droves As Democrats Require Photo ID To Enter Convention
CHICAGO, IL — According to reports, black people trying to attend the DNC were turned away in droves as Democrats required photo IDs to enter the convention.
Despite knowing that black people are not capable of obtaining photo IDs, Democrats inexplicably chose to require everyone in attendance to show identification, leaving thousands of black people unable to enter.
"I wanted to come, but everyone knows I can't get an ID," said one black man who was refused entry to the DNC. "You'd think the Democrats would be aware of this fact. This must be some type of big plan to suppress our ability to attend the convention. It's a shame. I was looking forward to being here, but acquiring an official government-issued photo ID isn't something people like me can do. At least that's what I've heard."
DNC officials offered conflicting comments on the controversy. "We would never want to discriminate," said DNC Chairman Jaime Harrison, who is also black. "We're here to stand up against the efforts of Republicans to keep the black population from voting by requiring them to show a photo ID, which is why we're gathering here in Chicago and requiring everyone who enters to show a photo ID."
At publishing time, Harrison also clarified that the DNC had built a wall around the convention area to keep out anyone it didn't want present as its leaders gave speeches about how walls are not effective in keeping out unwanted people.
https://babylonbee.com/news/sad-black-people-turned-away-in-droves-as-democrats-require-photo-id-to-enter-convention
