The David Allen award, given to a primitive for any reason whatsoever, whatever the grantor wishes, is named in honor of a Desktop publisher down in North Carolina, the malicious cartoon character Kevin Malice, or officially, the “Kelvin Mace” primitive.
That the name is exactly similar with that of Skins is only a coincidence, nothing more than that.
The malicious cartoon character is pretty much ancient history—he’s in his mid- or late 50s by now—but he was prominent on Skins’s island 10-12 years ago, when he was a good pal, a bosom buddy, of the late red round one.
He’s the main reason George Bush, and not the Bostonian Billionaire, was inaugurated president in January 2005. I’ve never been sure why the primitives never made the connection, but of course the primitives are hardly known for their perceptual sharpness, their mental acuity.
Right after the elections of 2004, there appeared on Skins’s island a prominent voting reform advocate who alleged that the Democrat candidate for president, not the Republican candidate, had actually won the state of Ohio, and that she could prove it.
Problem, however. Checking out the integrity of the election had used up nearly all of her resources, and she was short of money. Her request however was modest; she needed only ten dollars more to prove that Ohio had been stolen.
Immediately jumped in the malicious cartoon character, destroying those hopes.
Apparently earlier in that same year, he’d tried cheating her on a book deal, and because she wouldn’t allow him to cheat her, he hated her. And so he put up a roadblock to her collecting that final ten bucks.
Lacking the resources, she was unable to prove that the Bostonian Billionaire had actually won Ohio—and hence the election—and the primitives became subjected to four more years of George Bush.
Due wholly to the malicious cartoon character.
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This year’s David Allen award goes to Skins, who using the same “inside” sources as retailers of fireworks, fortuitously foresaw a train wreck that was coming down the rails, and so as to protect his real-estate, barred the doors, shutting down Skins’s island.
Really. It’s all so obvious that’s what happened.
The primitives, being immature rectal apertures, are not noted for their composure in the face of disappointment and defeat, and most likely would’ve flamed the whole message board all evening long with what are generally considered death threats against the president-elect, the vice-president-elect, any and all Republican senators, congressmen, and governors, and decent and civilized people in general.
It would’ve been an orgy of uncontrollable, frenzied hate, Skins’s island.
Making life greatly uncomfortable for Skins, who would’ve been “visited” by all sorts of law-enforcement agencies with inquiring minds that wanted to know.
Also, as software deteriorates over time, the practical Skins looked at a shutdown as an opportunity for the elusive enigmatic Elad to delve into the inner workings of Skins’s island to clean things up, to straighten them out.
Too, by making it all appear as a hack, Skins was able to personally indulge in one of the fantasies of all Democrats, liberals, and primitives, that of being a “victim” of “right”-wing “terrorism.”
Skins wasn’t born yesterday. And of course neither was franksolich.
Next Up: #05 Top DUmmie of 2016
