Programmers Riot, Shout 'Death To India'

[CactusCarlos]

http://www.dailyredundancy.com/archives/1088.html

SAN JOSE, CA - Hundreds of angry programmers took to the streets burning Indian flags, and chanting anti-Indian slogans after Wednesday morning production meetings. The protesters - mostly young males - have reached a boiling point after years of  technological imperialism and failed Indian programming policies. Busy midday traffic came to a halt as this once proud high-tech mecca was transformed into raging, socially-challenged powder keg of humanity.

"Our homeland is being occupied by outsiders who threaten our very way of life." said one particularly angry protester, who asked not be identified. "They bring blasphemous ideals of nested coding and working for less money. It's poisoning our culture."

The protest took an ugly turn when several young men paraded a life sized replica of Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh through the crowd. Angry programmers - some as young as 13 - proceeded to beat the mannequin mercilessly with C++ manuals, then set it ablaze as the throng cheered on.

As darkness fell, the streets were illuminated by the flames of burning flowcharts and shredded green sheets, and the stench of melting floppy disks filled the air. Speakers using megaphones kept the crowd in a frenzy with chants of 'Death to India' and 'Linux Forever'. A march on the Indian Embassy was averted only when protest leaders learned it was 50 miles away in San Francisco and probably had closed already.
 
The programmers, increasingly urged on by radical tech company executives preaching anti-Indian rhetoric, blame the Indian government for improving the quality of software and operating systems. In recent years this resentment has created a growing group of fundamentalist programmers who want to maintain the values and traditions practiced in the 1990's. As India continues to forcefully maintain its presence in America's programming market, tensions will certainly continue to rise.

Some experts fear this mock violence may soon escalate into actual bloodshed. "When it comes to deep seeded traditions and beliefs, emotion could overcome common sense." said Edward Cullhagy, professor of Inter-Cultural Technology at Howyflyl University. "There are some hard line factions of the programming community, the Linux sect in particular, that have publicly expressed a willingness to commit violent acts. Especially if they start messing with Ubuntu."