I haven't seen tiny in so long! Our resident expert in anything high-end culinary.
Oh, Karin, I am lurking most days, but have been having so much fun watching the Dems and Pubbies running around with their hair on fire, I haven't posted much.
My latest adventure, is Gourmet Low Carb.
See, I am not sure why people call me Tiny. I picked up that moniker when I was a bodyguard. I was working a Ted Nugent tour, and was partnered with another large Tree Trunk. Maybe I seemed tiny compared to him. He was 6'10" and weighed 345. I was only 6'2" and 280.
Anywho, I have lost over 100 lbs on low carb fare. But, you get quite bored with Meat and broccoli. So, I decided that my skills dictated that I come up with some alternatives.
My dear sweet 80+ year old mother called me in January, and informed me that she was having a Super Bowl party for her girlfriends from church, and asked if I would attend. I was excited, first because I never saw my mother show any interest in football, and second, to enjoy what I thought would be a "pot luck" with several experienced cooks providing exquisite dishes. Then came the bombshell.
"I need you to cook dinner."
Great. I asked what they wanted to eat. She told me that she wanted me to cook something low carb and delicious. I asked her, "In a perfect world, what would please your taste?"
She replied, "I long for some BBQ ribs, some BBQ baked beans, and cole slaw. I also would like to try to make low carb margaritas."
Now, For those who do not know, Ribs , beans and slaw are seldom fantasized as low carb. So, I needed a rub.
8 parts Splenda
3 parts Anco chili powder
1 part smoked Mexican paprika
1 Part combined equal portions garlic powder, onion powder, cumin,
1 part salt and black pepper
She bought whole spare ribs, 2 racks. I was gonna trim them to a St Louis cut, but she nixed that. So, I just took off the membrane, slathered them in dijon, rubbed 'em down, wrapped 'em in cling wrap, and stuck 'em in the fridge. So far, the whole project was about 5 grams of carbs. Made a delicious low carb slaw, with cabbage, onion, carrots, and a chipotle aioli, with a bit of sherry vinegar.
The next day, I fired up the smoker, and trimmed the "flaps" off the ribs. These, I saved for the beans. Put the ribs on the smoker at 225 degrees, for four hours. Took them out and wrapped them with butter and Splenda, and put them back on to finish. I found a low carb BBQ sauce with zero carbs, by Walden Farms. I should have made my own, but I was not willing to work that hard. When they were just about done, I coated them liberally with the sauce, and put them back in to "set" the sauce.
While the ribs were smoking, I proceeded to concoct my BBQ beans. Since legumes are rich in carbs, I needed a low carb alternative. I found black soy beans, which are very low carb. 3 bucks a can. Couldn't find them dry. Anyway, I sauteed some onion, garlic, and bacon, in the bacon fat, added the rib flaps cut into thin strips, and 4 cans of soybeans, added 1/2 cup of the rib rub, and some vegetable stock. Let them simmer two hours. That is how long it took to get them soft.
Put them in a casserole dish and set them in the smoker for about an hour.
It would have done your heart good to see these elderly straight laced women with BBQ sauce on the cheeks, uttering only endearments of deliciousness. They looked like little kids, with silver hair. Mom made an Orange low carb pound cake, and we made homemade low carb vanilla ice cream, with Almond milk, egg, Splenda Heavy cream, and a couple of vanilla beans. Simmered and chilled, then into the machine, and 45 minutes later, "Voila", 2 gram per serving Ice Cream. I was amazed how good it all was. My Mom's friends had no idea they just ate low carb.
My Mom went nuts for the beans. She made two attempts at recreating them, before she asked for my help. I showed her once more, and now she can make them.
Anyway, my wall of text is complete. BTW, I felt honored that you wonder about my whereabouts. Thanks. Boosted my morale this AM.