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Author Topic: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds  (Read 3577 times)

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Offline thundley4

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Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds
« on: December 28, 2009, 05:33:32 PM »
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“Putting Americans to work doing the work that America needs done“…

10.  A $427,824 research grant to design better video games for senior citizens based on their unique “game-play needs”.

9.  Funding of a Dartmouth College study involving “sexual arousal in anesthetized female rats” ($9,870).

8.  Funding of a $168,300 SBA loan to the Escape Massage parlor in Midlothian, VA.

7.  Funding a $447,492 Univ. of North Carolina study on the development and use of “African American English” amongst 70 adolescents.

6.  $10,346 for a heating and cooling company to provide “escort services” for other companies performing a laser scanning survey at a courthouse in Honolulu, Hawaii.

5.  An academic study comparing outcomes of the concurrent and separate use of malt liquor and marijuana ($389, 357).

4.  A $225,000 study at Ohio State University on the relative and combined impacts of air pollution and a high fat diet on obesity development.

3.  A $712,883 research grant to develop “machine-generated humor“. Project will design artificially intelligent “comedic performance agents”, and will “deploy them both on and off-line for the enjoyment and illumination of everyday citizens”.

2.  A $54 million project to relocate one bridge for the Napa Valley Wine Train (!) in order to mitigate the possible impact of a “100 year storm event”.

And the number one most ridiculous use of stimulus funds…

1.  $9.3 million (!) to fund the design and development of a “coordinated colony of robotic bees“!

Our tax dollars hard at work, saving or creating jobs for mad scientists and masseurs everywhere. And I’m sure I’ve only scratched the surface with these.
verumserum blog

Your tax dollars at work.
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Offline Eupher

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Re: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds
« Reply #1 on: December 29, 2009, 03:35:53 PM »
Very reminiscent of Sen. William Proxmire's "Golden Fleece" award.

Looking at No. #1 in some detail, it's a grant. Meaning free cash.

$9.3 million. Wow. Awarded to Harvard University back in August.

Title of Study: "RoboBees: A convergence of body, brain, and colony" Abstract:

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This project entails the creation of a coordinated colony of robotic bees, RoboBees. Research topics are split between the body, brain, and colony. Topics within the body include all aspects of the flight apparatus, propulsion, and power systems. The brain involves research on the electronic nervous system equivalent of a bee's brain including circuits for sensing and decision-making. Finally, research within the colony entails communication and control algorithms that will enable performance well beyond the capabilities of an individual. Each of these research areas is drawn together by the challenges of recreating various functionalities of natural bees. One such example is pollination: Bees coordinate to interact with complex natural systems by using a diversity of sensors, a hierarchy of task delegation, unique communication, and an effective flapping-wing propulsion system. Pollination and other agricultural tasks will serve as challenge thrusts throughout the life of this project. Such tasks require expertise across a broad spectrum of scientific topics. The research team includes experts in biology, computer science, electrical and mechanical engineering, and materials science, assembled to address fundamental challenges in developing RoboBees.

Here's the funny part:

Program Officer: Kenneth C. Whang

 :rotf:  You just can't make this stuff up!

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Offline bijou

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Re: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2009, 03:59:55 PM »
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10.  A $427,824 research grant to design better video games for senior citizens based on their unique “game-play needs”.

The Legend of Zelda and the walking  frame of time.
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds
« Reply #3 on: December 29, 2009, 04:01:44 PM »
Quote from: bijou on December 29, 2009, 03:59:55 PM
The Legend of Zelda and the walking  frame of time.

Wheel of Fortune, Jeopardy, Bingo, what more do they need?
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Offline Ladywinter

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Re: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds
« Reply #4 on: December 29, 2009, 08:05:02 PM »
Even if someone tried to explain #9, I do not believe it could be done with a straight face! :shame:  My lord!
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Offline thundley4

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Re: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2009, 08:11:25 PM »
Quote from: Ladywinter on December 29, 2009, 08:05:02 PM
Even if someone tried to explain #9, I do not believe it could be done with a straight face! :shame:  My lord!

Quote
9.  Funding of a Dartmouth College study involving “sexual arousal in anesthetized female rats” ($9,870).

This is only part one of the study, part two is going to be a comparative study concerning the sexual arousal of drunken co-eds.  :-)
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Offline SSG Snuggle Bunny

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Re: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds
« Reply #6 on: December 30, 2009, 10:53:32 AM »
Quote from: Eupher on December 29, 2009, 03:35:53 PM
Title of Study: "RoboBees: A convergence of body, brain, and colony" Abstract:

Here's the funny part:

Program Officer: Kenneth C. Whang

 :rotf:  You just can't make this stuff up!


You won't be laughing when they escape their masters.
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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2009, 10:56:13 AM »
Quote from: Mr Snuggle Bunny on December 30, 2009, 10:53:32 AM
You won't be laughing when they escape their masters.

Too late:

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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2009, 12:03:59 PM »
Funding of a Dartmouth College study involving “sexual arousal in anesthetized female DUmrats” ($9,870).

Hell, drunk/dopedup/passed out liberal wymins are always "sexually aroused"......they just can't arouse any DUmmie males.

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Offline thundley4

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Re: Top 10 Most Ridiculous Uses of Stimulus Funds
« Reply #9 on: December 30, 2009, 12:08:34 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on December 30, 2009, 12:03:59 PM
Funding of a Dartmouth College study involving “sexual arousal in anesthetized female DUmrats” ($9,870).

Hell, drunk/dopedup/passed out liberal wymins are always "sexually aroused"......they just can't arouse any DUmmie males.



It's not the males that liberal wymin are trying to arouse, it's other liberal wymin.
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