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Author Topic: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen  (Read 4360 times)

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Offline Alpha Mare

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$500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« on: October 28, 2009, 08:55:21 AM »
 :rotf:

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Conway - Conway Police Department investigators are tracking down leads in the theft of two 53-foot shipping containers belonging to Kimberly Clark, according to Conway Chief of Police A. J. Gary, and “it will be very interesting when they get to the bottom of it.”

Inside the containers, according to the report, were 9,064 cases of Kotex- and Poise-brand feminine hygiene products of every description, 152 cases of Huggies Soft Skin baby wash and 380 cases of baby wipes — each case containing 10 to 20 individual consumer packages. The total value of the containers and their contents is listed in the report at over $474,000.

http://www.katv.com/news/stories/1009/672569.html
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2009, 09:21:55 AM »
Thief exclaims, "What the bloody hell is this!"
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Offline bijou

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2009, 09:26:01 AM »
Moving to the Lounge, I'm sure the punsters will be along soon.  :-)
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Offline Eupher

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #3 on: October 28, 2009, 09:32:26 AM »
Are we sure that Kimberly Clark isn't padding the total estimated cost? I mean this thing is riding on just a string, yunno?
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2009, 09:34:12 AM »
Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 09:32:26 AM
Are we sure that Kimberly Clark isn't padding the total estimated cost? I mean this thing is riding on just a string, yunno?

The hole thing is just a cover.
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“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline Eupher

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2009, 09:35:38 AM »
Yeah, but who leaked the story?
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #6 on: October 28, 2009, 09:40:45 AM »
Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 09:35:38 AM
Yeah, but who leaked the story?

It started with some woman about a month ago.
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“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline Eupher

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #7 on: October 28, 2009, 09:48:01 AM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on October 28, 2009, 09:40:45 AM
It started with some woman about a month ago.

Yeah, and she put a serious cramp in Kimberly Clark's style.
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #8 on: October 28, 2009, 09:53:27 AM »
Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 09:48:01 AM
Yeah, and she put a serious cramp in Kimberly Clark's style.

But only for 5 to 7 days.
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“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline NHSparky

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #9 on: October 28, 2009, 10:14:25 AM »
Ya gotta love the one and only comment on the story:

"Something smells fishy here..."
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Offline jinxmchue

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #10 on: October 28, 2009, 10:15:36 AM »
I don't mean to rag on anyone, but these jokes are really bad.  Plug it up, guys.
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Offline thundley4

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #11 on: October 28, 2009, 10:23:28 AM »
Quote from: jinxmchue on October 28, 2009, 10:15:36 AM
I don't mean to rag on anyone, but these jokes are really bad.  Plug it up, guys.

This story doesn't have legs, it has wings.   Lighten up and go with the flow.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #12 on: October 28, 2009, 10:25:41 AM »
Shipping containers or box cars?
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Offline Eupher

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #13 on: October 28, 2009, 10:40:52 AM »
Quote from: thundley4 on October 28, 2009, 10:23:28 AM
This story doesn't have legs, it has wings.   Lighten up and go with the flow.

Light days or heavy days?

This whole thread is for panty-waists.  :whatever:
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Offline Eupher

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #14 on: October 28, 2009, 10:43:23 AM »
Quote from: lug-nut on October 28, 2009, 10:25:41 AM
Shipping containers or box cars?

:rotf:
I don't care who you are, that right there is funnier than belly bloat.

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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #15 on: October 28, 2009, 01:08:46 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 10:43:23 AM
:rotf:
I don't care who you are, that right there is funnier than belly bloat.



Please dear Lord, PROTECT me from punning about Feminine products.  That just ain't right. 
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Offline Eupher

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #16 on: October 28, 2009, 02:24:30 PM »
Quote from: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 01:08:46 PM
Please dear Lord, PROTECT me from punning about Feminine products.  That just ain't right. 

Is PMS off limits, too?  :fuelfire:
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #17 on: October 28, 2009, 02:43:01 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 02:24:30 PM
Is PMS off limits, too?  :fuelfire:

I am in toxic shock that you would suggest such a thing..... :tongue:
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"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline Eupher

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #18 on: October 28, 2009, 02:48:25 PM »
Quote from: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 02:43:01 PM
I am in toxic shock that you would suggest such a thing..... :tongue:

Well, uh....doesn't "changing them out" sorta help the toxic shock thing?     :uhsure:       
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #19 on: October 28, 2009, 02:52:05 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 02:48:25 PM
Well, uh....doesn't "changing them out" sorta help the toxic shock thing?     :uhsure:       

Why don'tcha ask Aunt Flo?
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"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline Eupher

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #20 on: October 28, 2009, 02:59:02 PM »
Quote from: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 02:52:05 PM
Why don'tcha ask Aunt Flo?

She's well beyond menopause, actually. Plus, she had a hystericalectomy as a birthday gift when she turned 45.

I remember her beaming with pride afterwards - something about "there are no more strings in my life."

I couldn't quite figure that last one out......
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #21 on: October 28, 2009, 03:19:17 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 02:59:02 PM
She's well beyond menopause, actually. Plus, she had a hystericalectomy as a birthday gift when she turned 45.

I remember her beaming with pride afterwards - something about "there are no more strings in my life."

I couldn't quite figure that last one out......

She's just stringing you along.
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“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline IassaFTots

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #22 on: October 28, 2009, 03:33:10 PM »
Quote from: JohnnyReb on October 28, 2009, 03:19:17 PM
She's just stringing you along.

I do not believe that any of you menfolk are an expert in this subject matter.  Period. 
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"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent

Offline Eupher

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #23 on: October 28, 2009, 03:58:18 PM »
Quote from: IassaFTots on October 28, 2009, 03:33:10 PM
I do not believe that any of you menfolk are an expert in this subject matter.  Period. 

When you're on the receiving end of a PMS blast, and it happens quite repeatedly over many years, may I calmly suggest that even men can become experts?

It's kinda like guys who work with dynamite. They learn to handle that stuff very, very carefully.

I want EVERYONE to know that I have - on many occasions - gone to the store to buy feminine products. As I proudly stand in line with my box of Kotex or Massengill douche powder, I think of how much I love my spouse.  :evillaugh:    :innocent:   
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Offline IassaFTots

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Re: $500,000 Worth of Feminine Products Stolen
« Reply #24 on: October 28, 2009, 04:05:28 PM »
Quote from: Eupher on October 28, 2009, 03:58:18 PM
It's kinda like guys who work with dynamite. They learn to handle that stuff very, very carefully.
  

HAHAHAHA!

Now....Plug it!   :innocent:
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"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." ~ Martin Luther King
 
“Political Correctness is about turning a blind eye to painful reality because your comfortable feelings are more important to you than saving lives and providing quality of life to people who work their ass off to be productive and are a benefit to this great American Dream"  ~Ted Nugent
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