Author Topic: DUmmies Discuss A Really DUmb Idea From DUmmy Grasswire (Read 2849 times)

GOBUCKS · « **on:** March 19, 2011, 09:50:04 PM »

Big news from DUmmy grasswire, freeloading in someone's bonus room on a "farmette" up there in Wisconsin:

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grasswire (1000+ posts) Fri Mar-11-11 05:15 PM
Original message
I'm opening a pie shop.

Just clinched the deal with the property owner today.

It will be structured as a "social enterprise" with all profits donated to music programs in the local schools.

It will not be just a pie shop, but a music venue where local students and local acoustic musicians may play together and play for each other and play for others to hear.

The location is so perfect. It is a very small historic community intersection blocks from where I currently live, and it sits on the old trolley trail that is currently being restored as a hiking/biking trail that connects to other trails that ring the city. At this intersection was the trolley stop and the ticket office throughout the first half of the last century.

Oh god the space is so perfect! It once was an old grocery. The bones are excellent. They even have a very old cooler cabinet with glass doors that will be perfect to display pies. The original plate glass windows are still there, and original corner door. Renovation is already underway.

The business model will allow me to solicit startup funding and corporate sponsorships -- as I am totally on a shoestring.

(I'm writing all this because I know that there are others who would like to start up a business but have no capital. Social entrepreneurship is a global trend. Check it out. It can be a way to start up.)
Many of you know my commitment to pie. I'm doing test kitchen this month on a lot of recipes for the perfect product. King Arthur's lemon meringue was a fail last night. Unfortunately.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=236x86326
Anytime a career panhandler opens a business, you can be sure it'll be a winner.

My bet is the "property owner" of the derelict abandoned storefront also owns the home where DUmmy grasswire has been squatting, over the garage, for the past two years. The deal likely includes moving all her crap out of his house and into the old abandoned storefront. So DUmmy grasswire will have her cot in the storefront building, sort of like TomInTib sleeping in back of the trinket shop.

Not clear how grasswire will be baking these pies, or how she plans to sell them to the potheads and winos with guitars that she'll have bunking there with her. On the other hand, maybe she can rent space to out-of-state rioters coming to Madison.

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Vinca (1000+ posts) Fri Mar-11-11 05:48 PM
Response to Original message
1. I sure wish I lived closer to you so I could help "test" the pies. LOL.
Good luck on your new venture. It sounds like a great idea!

DUmmy Vinca is braver than me. I wouldn't try a grasswire pie with someone else's mouth.

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grasswire (1000+ posts) Fri Mar-11-11 06:30 PM
Response to Reply #1
Actually I was thinking of my picker friends today. There's a pile of old metal signs in a corner of the space. Marlboro, Chesterfield...that kind of thing. And a couple of Coca Cola signs nailed to the old door. Heh.

The place really is a derelict firetrap!

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grasswire (1000+ posts) Fri Mar-11-11 06:28 PM
Response to Reply #2
I'm having a little glitch with the facebook page for the shop, but the web domain is parked at www.pieandjam.com . Nothing there yet but a pie picture. Steep learning curve in many areas.

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hippywife (1000+ posts) Fri Mar-11-11 08:27 PM
Response to Original message
10. Yaaaaaa!
I am so happy to hear this, E! I know you've been wanting to do this so much. And to be a social enterprise is even better. You're a good soul and have a great head on your shoulders. You should do very, very well.

I wish I were closer to help you pull things together. I really would, you know.

Oh, and about the website thing you mentioned, I can totally commiserate. I have given up on mine because the coding required now is so beyond my old capabilities. I'm going to leave it up and open an Etsy shop once I get more inventory made to put out there, then I'll add a click thru on my website to get there.

I wish you great success! Please keep us posted on how things are going when you get time.

Is "social enterprise" a New Age way of saying "failure"? Too bad Mrs. Packer shitcanned the website. I'm sure it would have been a wonder to behold, and the old folks at the nursing home would no longer be required to buy her trinkets in order to get their dinners.

franksolich · « **Reply #1 on:** March 20, 2011, 08:02:55 AM »

Remember, the farmerette primitive has always whined about the "lousy" George Bush economy.

She had a relative who opened a restaurant about the time George Bush was inaugurated in January 2001, which apparently prospered clear until.....about the time the Dems took back Congress in January 2007, after which it closed down. Dates provided by the farmerette primitive herself, at the time.

"Lousy" George Bush economy. Yeah, sure.

Tucker · « **Reply #2 on:** March 20, 2011, 09:09:28 AM »

If obama's spouse wants to half bake sales that enrich school coffers, how does this WI attic dweller think that she can do the same thing as an individual, with money going to schools?

Sounds like she's circumventing the spouse of obama's directive.

Vagabond · « **Reply #3 on:** March 20, 2011, 10:05:18 AM »

A small shop in the location described could work. Maybe a sammich shop would work a lot better than some pie shop, but if grassswire is passionate about pies, then good luck to her.

Skul · « **Reply #4 on:** March 20, 2011, 10:20:17 AM »

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grasswire (1000+ posts) Fri Mar-11-11 05:15 PM
Original message
........It will be structured as a "social enterprise" with all profits donated to music programs in the local schools.

You'll have to "hold some back", to pay for your weed, DUmbgrass.

jukin · « **Reply #5 on:** March 20, 2011, 10:59:05 AM »

I predict a Health Department Red Tag within two days.

SSG Snuggle Bunny · « **Reply #6 on:** March 20, 2011, 11:05:12 AM »

I wish him well.

Then I want him to be socked by regulations too byzantine to obey, taxes too high to afford, vendors who pass-through their rising costs, fines from the EPA because his mandated pesticide treatments encourage algae growth that threatens a rare form of cockroach, Obamacare costs that cripple his finances and when he takes it to his employees to work with them I want the SEIU to rush in and unionize his shop and go on strike.

catsmtrods · « **Reply #7 on:** March 20, 2011, 11:16:43 AM »

Pieandjam? WTF does one have to do with the other? I guess ya

and then ya get the

all the while thinking your music

sounds good?

GOBUCKS · « **Reply #8 on:** March 20, 2011, 11:17:35 AM »

Consider:

1. The business proprietor is a DUmmy.
2. DUmmy grasswire has access to zero capital.
3. The business proprietor is a DUmmy
4. The building is an abandoned storefront full of junk.
5. The business model is a non-profit pie shop / flophouse for pothead guitar players.
6. DUmmy grasswire has no business experience.
7. DUmmies lie, all the time.
8. The proprietor is a DUmmy.

If it exists, the failure of this pie shop / flophouse is a virtual certainty. Very few pie shop / flophouse business ventures are thriving.
Even during the Reagan/Bush boom years, running a pie shop / flophouse was a tough way to make a living.

true_blood · « **Reply #9 on:** March 20, 2011, 12:14:46 PM »

Quote from: GOBUCKS on March 20, 2011, 11:17:35 AM

Consider:

1. The business proprietor is a DUmmy.
2. DUmmy grasswire has access to zero capital.
3. The business proprietor is a DUmmy
4. The building is an abandoned storefront full of junk.
5. The business model is a non-profit pie shop / flophouse for pothead guitar players.
6. DUmmy grasswire has no business experience.
7. DUmmies lie, all the time.
8. The proprietor is a DUmmy.

If it exists, the failure of this pie shop / flophouse is a virtual certainty. Very few pie shop / flophouse business ventures are thriving.
Even during the Reagan/Bush boom years, running a pie shop / flophouse was a tough way to make a living.

GoBucks pretty much nailed it here.
No business experience and no major funds sounds like an epic fail. Non profit?!?

jukin · « **Reply #10 on:** March 20, 2011, 12:19:39 PM »

Biggest problems are numbers 1,3, & 8. The others are surmountable.

Randy · « **Reply #11 on:** March 20, 2011, 12:33:25 PM »

Gaswire should get a newspaper article about her plans published. The words non-profit will have the area venture capitalists lined up around the block looking to finance her grande ideas.

Karin · « **Reply #12 on:** March 21, 2011, 08:45:17 AM »

This is from page 2, but it was so absurd, I just wanted to kick it. It reeks of moonbattery to high heaven. Donate all the profits to school music programs, so all the amateur musicians come on in and strum & toot, and perhaps recite open-mike poetry? All on the tremendously lucrative profits of pies?

Oh, this is a gem.

Moonbats are so naive. She's going to have to have a stainless steel commercial kitchen to make those, and approved packaging equipment. Low end estimate, $50K. Maybe. She will never get the health department permit to operate. The Amish ladies here get an exemption, they sell their pies out of their buggies for $5. Probably a $2.50 profit.

Why are moonbats so stupid, and they think that the regulations they so applaud, don't apply to them?

DumbAss Tanker · « **Reply #13 on:** March 21, 2011, 11:19:46 AM »

Quote from: Vagabond on March 20, 2011, 10:05:18 AM

A small shop in the location described could work. Maybe a sammich shop would work a lot better than some pie shop, but if grassswire is passionate about pies, then good luck to her.

I tend to agree...there is something about 'Pie shop' and 'Hiking trail' that just doesn't quite fit together properly.

GOBUCKS · « **Reply #14 on:** March 21, 2011, 11:29:54 AM »

Quote from: DumbAss Tanker on March 21, 2011, 11:19:46 AM

I tend to agree...there is something about 'Pie shop' and 'Hiking trail' that just doesn't quite fit together properly.

I just can't get past the absurdity of a bum, a freeloader that has lived in a friend's bonus room for two years, talking about opening a non-profit business. I'm sure the "non-profit" part is within reach, but the rest of it is crazy.

Skul · « **Reply #15 on:** March 21, 2011, 11:50:44 AM »

Quote from: Karin on March 21, 2011, 08:45:17 AM

..... It reeks of moonbattery to high heaven. Donate all the profits to school music programs, so all the amateur musicians come on in and strum & toot, and perhaps recite open-mike poetry? ....

Calpiggy is aready standing in line, awaiting the "grand opening". What a ..

DumbAss Tanker · « **Reply #16 on:** March 21, 2011, 11:52:17 AM »

Yeah, I was just talking about the location part, not the "Andy Hardy and the Kids Open a Pie Shop" part of the *cough* "Plan." But hey, maybe as an old panhandler she knows which windowsills she plans to steal the pies from...

Randy · « **Reply #17 on:** March 21, 2011, 04:47:23 PM »

Quote from: GOBUCKS on March 21, 2011, 11:29:54 AM

I just can't get past the absurdity of a bum, a freeloader that has lived in a friend's bonus room for two years, talking about opening a non-profit business. I'm sure the "non-profit" part is within reach, but the rest of it is crazy.

The non-profit part is a given for just about anything they try to tackle.