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Author Topic: You Can't Please Everyone  (Read 838 times)

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Offline Chris

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You Can't Please Everyone
« on: May 07, 2009, 05:30:03 PM »
One star Amazon reviews of classic movies, music and literature.

This Is Spinal Tap
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Okay, seriously, who the heck are these Spinal Tap fellas? I’m an expert on music (I studied the art form for four years, know every artist of the last 40 years, and scored an A+ on my math test…which really doesn’t have anything to do with music, but it shows you that I am intellegent), and have never heard of these guys before. Let me ask you a perfectly reasonable question: why would you want to watch a documentary on a band that you’ve never heard of before? And to top it all off, the interviewer is some guy named Rob (who resembles a pig! That’s right, a little piggy!). If I wanted to look at a hog for an hour, I’d make some bacon!

Also of note is that there’s some character named ‘Bobbi Fleckman’. How can you people be fooled so easily? Don’t you realize that it’s nothing but a cheap disguise? It’s really The Nanny, Fran Fine! Nice try, Fran, but I didn’t believe it for one second! I guess sometimes, you just have to get away from that butler and that old British guy!

People, whatever you do, don’t buy this trash! Just wait until Limp Bizkit (the greatest band ever!) makes a documentary on their wild and crazy and cool antics! It’s sure to put this to shame!

Goodfellas
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Deserves an X rating for all of the gratuitous violence. Little to offer to a Christian-based viewer who ascribes to humanist values.
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This movie is worthless, for one thing the violence scenes that portraits the maffia like some ordinary screw ups,is what I think,not correct.You dont shot some body in the foot just because his acting stupid.I think its a perfect sample of what happens if you try to copy and inhans,in this case the violant scenes,from other movies and try to do a box office hit out of it.

The Sound Of Music
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This movie was made in the sixties, we live in the 21st century, GET OVER IT!
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When I see garbage like this, I finally understand what is wrong with the world. I watched this movie on a dare and was absolutely mortified!!!!! I would have given it negative stars if I could have. As an animal lover and vegetarian, I was especially offended!!! Anyone who is a fan of this series should run, not walk to the nearest Psychiatrist. You are in desperate need of having your head examined. And we as a society wonder why violence and seriel killers have become a part of daily life. Well, ladies and gentlemen I present to you Exhibit A…….

http://www.cynical-c.com/?cat=85

I had no idea the Sound of Music was so evil. :lmao:
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Offline NHSparky

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Re: You Can't Please Everyone
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2009, 05:39:38 PM »
Kinda like nekkid people--those who expose themselves are the ones who really shouldn't.
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Offline DixieBelle

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Re: You Can't Please Everyone
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2009, 06:51:20 PM »
Well they did make lederhosen out of drapes in the Sound of Music :rofl:
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Offline AllosaursRus

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Re: You Can't Please Everyone
« Reply #3 on: May 07, 2009, 09:23:46 PM »
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(I studied the art form for four years, know every artist of the last 40 years, and scored an A+ on my math test…which really doesn’t have anything to do with music, but it shows you that I am intellegent)

You never heard of Spinal Tap? I believe they were a fictional heavy metal band for some rock film parody. It was all a big joke I think. They were making fun of bands like Blue Oyster Cult.
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Offline Chris

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Re: You Can't Please Everyone
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2009, 12:29:07 AM »
Oh hell.... this is awful :lmao:

The Diary of Anne Frank
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This is the worst book I have ever read!!! I started it with an interest toward the Holocaust. Anne Frank never talked about anything even relating to this major historical event in her short life. Anne Frank did describe her sexual attraction to females(p.117). She was obviously very flirtatious, which I wouldn’t have minded if she had not filled almost half the book with it. Overall, Anne Frank was shockingly perverted, bad-tempered, and not very smart. Many teenagers act this way, but I have never met anyone who went to that extreme, and I have never met anyone who wrote it in a diary so descendents would be forced to read it. Even if that part was not in there, the book would still be horrible. She always writes about the same thigs. It is boring! So if you want to read this book you may, but I would like to warn you about this.
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It was really really boring. Its about some girl and her life- who cares!?! It is a total girly-girl book. Too dull to even care. I couldnt even pay attention to what happened to her, why it was so awful. Oh Well, NEXT…
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Offline Odin's Hand

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Re: You Can't Please Everyone
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2009, 12:32:48 AM »
Anyone who doesn't like Goodfellas deserves a kneecapping.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: You Can't Please Everyone
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2009, 12:44:30 AM »
They should be forced to post thir DUmmy screen names with their comments.
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Offline Chris

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Re: You Can't Please Everyone
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2009, 01:17:20 AM »
I got a laugh at the Spinal Tap review that didn't know who Rob Reiner was.  Sowee, piggy, piggy. :rotf:
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