"We aren't offended. You haven't hurt our feelings or made us cry."
Sorry, but the wording of this wall of text suggests otherwise.
Upset that other people are trying to "own" you? Well, too bad. You aren't the adults in the room, you aren't leaders, and you sure as **** aren't keeping the car on the road. You are just petty, scared charlatans and control freaks with an incessant need to feel important.