Your Great Aunt Edna: Promoter of Rape Culture

[SSG Snuggle Bunny]

eridani (41,610 posts)

Here Are 4 Ways We’re Accidentally Teaching Kids That Consent Doesn't Matter
   
 http://www.upworthy.com/here-are-4-ways-were-accidentally-teaching-kids-that-consent-doesnt-matter?c=upw1

The third way that we sometimes teach kids that consent isn't important is through forced hugs and kisses and this is all in the of teaching politeness. We want them to give Uncle Joe a hug and kiss when you see him because he's their elder, and it's important to respect him in that way, and because he wants a hug and a kiss, regardless of how your child is feeling. And the idea of being that if they don't go give Uncle Joe a hug and a kiss it reflects poorly on you, that your kids are rude or, you know, standoff-ish or whatever. And we worry about that as parents and so then we end up, you know, whether it's by force or coercion getting our kids to hug and kiss someone that they don't want to.

This is a huge red flag. You know, we don't want our teen daughters or our teen sons to be in a sexual situation where they're feeling like they don't really wanna continue, but they feel like they can't say anything because they've come this far and it would be rude to stop or that type of thing. That is exactly the problems that we get in young adults with not asking for consent but also not being bale to give it because you don't feel that you have that place to say no, I'm not comfortable with this, we need to stop right now. So it's very important not to make your kids hug and kiss, or you know, shake hands or anything like that, you know. "You know Uncle Joe, you saw him last year," and if Uncle Joe asks for a hug or kiss, you can say, "Do you want to give him a hug or a kiss or just wave hi?" And then have a wave hi or, you know, blow a kiss or whatever is comfortable in your family for some type of non touching related greeting.

And also, you don't have to force your kid to greet someone that they don't want. We often are forcing our kids to hug relatives that to them they don't even remember, very distant relatives, and we wonder why sexual abuse is so frequently a family member and why the kids didn't tell mom and dad when they've been taught their whole lives that they should respect their elders, that they should be giving physical affection to family members, so it becomes very hard for them to say 'I was touched in in an inappropriate way.' So this one has a very big implication right now for child sexual abuse. You really want your kids to know that they could say no and they never have to be touched in a way that they don't wanna be touched, and also for when they're older so that they feel like whenever they get that feeling in their stomach that 'I don't wanna do this next thing. I don't wanna be touched in this way" that they know that they can say no.

delrem (4,949 posts)

1. My mother's great-grand-daughter didn't want to kiss her.
 
My mother is very old. Beyond anything her great-grand-daughter had ever experienced.

Of course nobody forced the young girl to kiss the old lady. Jeeeeeeees, people.

Let's be real.

eridani (41,610 posts)

2. So, are you saying consent doesn't really matter? n/t

delrem (4,949 posts)

3. how could you possibly imagine that?

that goes entirely against the experience I related.

Skittles (95,135 posts)

4. what you related

doesn't make much sense

A quick review of Shittles post history reveals that Shittles works extra hard to misconstrue as much as possible to gin-up as much moral outrage as possible.

delrem (4,949 posts)

5. Oh.

I apologize.
It was a piece of actual history from my family.

Skittles (95,135 posts)

6. it's just easily misunderstood

are you saying no one coerces their children into contact they'd rather avoid? I've seen it quite frequently.

I see you're doing it again here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025241662

wtf do you mean?

Hugs: they're just like being violently penetrated!

delrem This message was hidden by Jury decision. Hide

7. **** off. I never said any such thing!

You guys are ****ing crazy.

A Jury voted 4-3 to hide this post on Tue Jul 15, 2014, 06:47 AM. Reason: This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

I got a dollar that says at least to of the votes to hide were for using "crazy" as a pejorative which violently penetrates the minds of those with mental illness making them think something is wrong with them.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10025241641

And for those interested, the other three ways we're apparently reinforcing rape culture are:

Number one is tickling and other types of rough house play. Now, I think that tickling and being silly and pretending to eat my kid's feet is one of the greatest parenting skills out there. So, I definitely don't think that tickling is bad or rough housing is bad. I think the important thing is that the minute your kid says no, you stop. Even if you know they're kidding, teach them that 'no' means that the other person will stop.

OK, the second way that we sometimes teach kids that consent doesn't matter, is by contradicting their feelings. And I think this is a huge problem because it just comes on naturally, and I talked about this before where a kid says, "I'm cold," and we say, "No, it's no... No, you're not. It's hot in here." Or "I'm hungry," "No, you're not. You just ate." "I'm tired..." "No, you weren't, you just got up from your nap." I think that we, you know, in our minds as parents we know 'What? Why are they saying this? They, she can't be hungry, she just ate." But by saying so we teach them not to trust their own instincts and their own feelings. And then, these are feelings that we want them to trust, you know, when they're in their 20s and in a situation that they're not feeling comfortable with. We want them to trust their gut reaction.

Alright. And the fourth way that we sometimes teach kids that consent doesn't matter, kind of plays like the last one, and that's just generally respecting your elders. Right now on Pinterest, a very popular article is getting pinned a lot about the interrupt rule. And this is a rule that kids instead of interrupting you when you're on the phone or you're talking to another adult in person that you teach them to put their had on your shoulder, so that you know they need them, and you can put your hand back acknowledging that 'I acknowledge that you need me, I'll be just a second'. And then it teaches kids not to interrupt.

So, anything that doesn't teach children that they are the center of the universe is reinforcing rape culture.

You want to know what will REALLY reinforce a rape culture?












RAISING GENERATIONS OF SELF-ENTITLED NARCISSISTS!


Liberals are very good at teaching children to say, "No" but they will never accept, "No."

[Big Dog]

How to eliminate the so-called "rape culture":

Raise your daughter to be a lioness, not a sheep.

[Carl]

God they are just stupid.

[DumbAss Tanker]

So, if you ever tell your kid they're wrong about anything, or just to STFU because they're being dumbasses, you're encouraging rape culture?  The things you learn reading DU...

 

[vesta111]

How to eliminate the so-called "rape culture":

Raise your daughter to be a lioness, not a sheep.

This is grand but with the culture of today we forget that boys are in more danger of rape then the girls.

Up until the last 30 years we watched out for our girls because rape can lead to a child of 13 year old becoming pregnant.   

No problem for the monsters that pray on the little boys.   No worry of  getting caught with the boys, and NAMBLA will step in and pay lawyer's and like minded judges  to excuse the adults and blame the children.

First time I encountered this problem, my 6 year old came home crying, on his way home from the bus stop a boy of 10 had grabbed him and dragged him into the bushes and pulled down his pants.    Some how my boy wiggled out of this and came home in a panic.

Just so happened we had at the house a few Navy Seals visiting the boys father and they went off to visit the family of the abuser.   When they arrived at the house they met up with the family of the of the boy and a few of their friends,  all the friends left leaving the boys parents alone to face these men that did not approve of their sons behavior. 

Scared the heck out of the parents to know that the actions of their son would come back on them.

We need to put the blame on the actions of their children, instead of Woe is me, there has to be a repercussion  that the kids know about as to what happens to their family when they go crazy. 

All these prisoners in jail and the family's that   visit  and hold no fault in putting them there , darn, this is crazy.

     

[lastparker]

So, anything that doesn't teach children that they are the center of the universe is reinforcing rape culture.

You want to know what will REALLY reinforce a rape culture?

RAISING GENERATIONS OF SELF-ENTITLED NARCISSISTS!

And there you have it! It's a paradox of liberal lunacy......

Their example:

OK, the second way that we sometimes teach kids that consent doesn't matter, is by contradicting their feelings. And I think this is a huge problem because it just comes on naturally, and I talked about this before where a kid says, "I'm cold," and we say, "No, you're not. It's hot in here." Or "I'm hungry," "No, you're not. You just ate."

What's going to happen later in life:

DUmmy boy:"I'm horny, so let's get busy."

Girl:  "No, I'm not ready for that yet. No means no and you should respect that."

DUmmy boy: "You can't tell me how to feel!"

and then has an epic DUmmy melt-down and takes what he wants.

[98ZJUSMC]

God they are just stupid.

When you try to explain these....organisms.....that's where it always leads to.   There is just no other explanation. 

"Well, they're intelligent, but.....

Nope.  Can't buy it.  It's the Dance of the Sugar Plum Retards.  Special Little Snowflakes who can't do a damned thing on their own or think without the consensus of the mud-pie consortium.

   defective children.

delrem (4,949 posts)

1. My mother's great-grand-daughter didn't want to kiss her.

BREAKING NEWS!  Most little kids don't, jackass.
 

[landofconfusion80]

BREAKING NEWS!  Most little kids don't, jackass.

Then there's the opposite side of the argument... I'd be interested to see how these two vote and what their DU names are:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7662232/Grandmother-and-grandson-to-have-child-together.html