primitives discuss teenage daughters

[franksolich]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x9281068

Oh my.

Mind_your_head  (1000+ posts)      Thu Mar-04-10 07:25 PM
Original message
 
Need opinions (quickly) about how to handle a 'teenage situation'

Just got home from a long day at work and I guess I'm just too burnt out to think about this properly....

My 16 year old went to a friends house after school. Supposedly the friends mom (b/c she had heard the girls talking about it over the past week or so) bought them tickets to the Midnight showing of Alice in Wonderland tonight. My daughter wants to know if she can go.

I know the movie is a "Big Deal" for her age group, but tomorrow is a school day ~ even though my daughter says she doesn't have anything "Big" (tests, etc.) going on tomorrow. She's not going to miss school, she'll just probably be tired.

I'm a bit pissed that the other mom bought tickets w/o asking me first if my daughter could go. The other possibility is that the tickets aren't purchased yet, my daughter is just telling me that they are. If the tickets are already purchased, they could probably be exchanged for another day/time.

Anyway, whether the tickets are purchased or not, I really don't know if I should let her go ~ especially under the circumstances ~ meaning how this has been "played out" by my daughter and/or the other mom.

What do you all think?

UndertheOcean  (1000+ posts)      Thu Mar-04-10 07:31 PM
Response to Original message
 
1. Don't be a killjoy , let the kid go and have little fun

There is a balancing point between "complete pushover" and "suffocatingly controlling"

Now if this happens too frequently , then you have to step in.

Sorry , I know it is tough , and she is going to turn 18 in 2 years , so maybe you should not alienate the kiddo , she might rebel in unpleasant ways .

Mind_your_head  (1000+ posts)      Thu Mar-04-10 07:41 PM
Response to Reply #1
 
3. Thanks for your opinion

yeah, just talked it over with her dad (my ex)....I'm gonna let her go, but with some 'condiitons' .... I guess that's the "balancing point between "complete pushover" and "suffocatingly controlling " of which you speak...

Kali  (1000+ posts)      Thu Mar-04-10 07:39 PM
NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE BITTER OLD VERMONTESE CALI PRIMITIVE
Response to Original message
 
2. uh...talk to the other mom and get the scoop

if it's on the up and up, a one time event is OK. BUT with lots of nagging about school nights, planning ahead properly, etc some extra chores are always good too - I mean if you are going to give in on something - make it worth it!

Mind_your_head  (1000+ posts)      Thu Mar-04-10 07:42 PM
Response to Reply #2
 
4. LOL yeah that's what I'm kinda "going for" .....

.....see my post above.

Bennyboy  (1000+ posts)        Thu Mar-04-10 07:42 PM
Response to Original message
 
5. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Mom......

She asked you for permission. And that is good sign. Maybe next time she doesn't cuz you nixed this. Love it.

Mind_your_head  (1000+ posts)      Thu Mar-04-10 07:50 PM
Response to Reply #5

7. I didn't 'nix' it ..... I'm letting her go

(with conditions)  ...... not too tough of ones though.

Shine (1000+ posts)        Thu Mar-04-10 07:44 PM
Response to Original message
 
6. As the parent of two teens, including a 16 yr old, I sympathize

If your daughter is a good student then I say let her go. Yes, she'll be tired, but it's Friday tomorrow and the w/e is right around the corner for catch up sleep.

You'll score major "cool mom" points on this one, trust me.

You gotta pick your battles and this one ain't worth it. Just let her have some fun.

trof  (1000+ posts)        Thu Mar-04-10 08:03 PM
Response to Original message
 
9. You should be pissed.

Your daughter's friend's parent should NEVER put you in a position where something they offer to your daughter is a fait accompli without consulting you.

It's happened to me.

I said "NO!".

Nor "No, sorry.", just no.

It involved a late night rock concert 3 hours away.

My daughter was 12.

The parents of the friend were recent immigrants to the U.S. (Brits) and really didn't have a clue about what was acceptable and what wasn't.

You would do right to decline.

Stand your ground and go with your instincts

[NHSparky]

What part of, "HELL NO" doesn't she understand?  Are you that much of a ***** that you can't stand up to your DAUGHTER?

[Mike220]

Damn, I feel sorry for the kids of DUmbasses.

[Specbid]

Mind_your_head  (1000+ posts)      Thu Mar-04-10 07:25 PM
Original message
 
Need opinions (quickly) about how to handle a 'teenage situation'

DUmmie mind your effin' head...you're asking DUmmies to help raise your teenager? HAhahahahaha...you have got to be kidding me...HAhahahahaha...

[The Village Idiot]

These are the people who think Planned Parenthood (sex at 10) and Kevin Jennings (kindergarten) have a good point.

[GOBUCKS]

The DUmp supports the girl going to this all night whatever-it-really-is, in hopes it will lead to her first abortion.

[terry]

I have teenage son.  I don't think he would even bother to ask, he'd know the answer without asking. He would just tell them "my folks would never allow me to go".

It's a stupid movie for crying out loud.  It will be around for weeks and before you know it will be on Netflix, or TV or whatever.  This is not a once in a lifetime opportunity.

[AllosaursRus]

I have teenage son.  I don't think he would even bother to ask, he'd know the answer without asking. He would just tell them "my folks would never allow me to go".

It's a stupid movie for crying out loud.  It will be around for weeks and before you know it will be on Netflix, or TV or whatever.  This is not a once in a lifetime opportunity.

No shirt! The stinkin' movie will be playin' this weekend! Why the hell do they have to go during the week, when the next day they need to be in schrool?

This is not passin' the smell test!

[The Village Idiot]

CA Mother dumps newborn into dumpster

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2464515/posts

[The Village Idiot]

I have teenage son.  I don't think he would even bother to ask, he'd know the answer without asking. He would just tell them "my folks would never allow me to go".

It's a stupid movie for crying out loud.  It will be around for weeks and before you know it will be on Netflix, or TV or whatever.  This is not a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Another reason to win the lottery and move out into the boondocks before having kids. lol.

[USA4ME]

Can't lay down rules for their kids but wanna run the country.  That's primtives for ya.

.

[AllosaursRus]

Can't lay down rules for their kids but wanna run the country.  That's primtives for ya.

.

Yep, I sure wish I had known a few of 'em before I had that lobotomy! Just kiddin'! Figured I better put that in before sumofya start believin' it! Heh, heh!

[littlelamb]

That mom needs some help learning how to say no to her child

[AllosaursRus]

That mom needs some help learning how to say no to her child

What?????? Doncha know you can't do that any more? It's child abuse, they'll throw your butt in jail if your kid calls and makes an accusation!

Nowadays you're guilty until you can prove yourself innocent when it comes to your kids!

[shadeaux]

ANYONE taking parenting advice from UndertheOcean should have their children taken away.  That dude is just so creepy.  I want to say something but I won't. *shudder*

Anyone asking the DUmp monkeys for parenting advice should be slapped.

My answer would be, what don't you understand about the word no ?

[crockspot]

Thanks mom. I'll try not to knock your daughter up tonight. 

[AllosaursRus]

Thanks mom. I'll try not to knock your daughter up tonight. 

Now that's just scary, Crock! You are sounding like "Mom's" worst nightmare! heh!

[JohnnyReb]

Lets see here, a DUmmie has raised a 16 year old daughter and as far as we know, she isn't on welfare, she hasn't had an abortion, she doesn't have 2 kids and she's still in school...WOW ...She must have made striaght "A's" in bananna/condom class.
....OR she might just be a pretty good kid despite her circumstances.

Hell, I know what the answer would have been at my house but I would have run by my momma anyway....you never now, she might have had a weak moment.

[Randy]

Let us not forget that this is a DUmmie story.

Her daughter's grades are.

A B in Gym
A C in History
A D in Math
A C in Social Studies
&
A D in Spanglish

See? Straight A's! 

[Karin]

What do we know about UndertheOcean?  I'm not familiar. 

Whatever this mom decides is beside the point.  The very idea of running to the DUmp and asking advice is juvenile at best.  Shouldn't you know a thing or two by the time the kid hits 16?  Maybe not, some people never learn.  My neighbor didn't raise her kids right, and now she regrets it.  They treat her like shit, because she treated them like little princes their whole lives. 

[debk]

My answer would be, what don't you understand about the word no ?

You and I think alike!

When my kids were younger, they frequently heard....."what don't you understand about the word no? the "n" or the "o"?

They knew when they heard that response....it was the final response and not to ask further.

Mine would never have asked to go out on a school night at midnight because they would have already known the answer. They didn't even ask about sleepovers on school nights.

From what I have heard from parents with teenagers now days...they have sleepovers on school nights..."well they know they have to get up in the morning". Yeah right.      My kids needed their sleep. They would have been worthless at school after a sleepover.

[Karin]

Really?  They have sleepovers on school nights?  I'm thinking of the parents, what the hell are they thinking?  Don't they have to get up and go to work in the morning?  They want a whole gaggle of females yakking all night long in their house?  What about the morning, getting everybody heaved out the door, possibly (or not) fed?  Wouldn't happen under my roof in a million years.  I can barely get myself heaved out the door. 
 

[debk]

Really?  They have sleepovers on school nights?  I'm thinking of the parents, what the hell are they thinking?  Don't they have to get up and go to work in the morning?  They want a whole gaggle of females yakking all night long in their house?  What about the morning, getting everybody heaved out the door, possibly (or not) fed?  Wouldn't happen under my roof in a million years.  I can barely get myself heaved out the door. 
 

Mine are not morning people and they were difficult enough to get up in the mornings without friends there to keep them up half the night....

[AllosaursRus]

You and I think alike!

When my kids were younger, they frequently heard....."what don't you understand about the word no? the "n" or the "o"?

They knew when they heard that response....it was the final response and not to ask further.

Mine would never have asked to go out on a school night at midnight because they would have already known the answer. They didn't even ask about sleepovers on school nights.

From what I have heard from parents with teenagers now days...they have sleepovers on school nights..."well they know they have to get up in the morning". Yeah right.      My kids needed their sleep. They would have been worthless at school after a sleepover.

Of course this was not an option when I raised my kids, but if I ever find out they would even consider crap like this, I'd still kick their ass! I have 4 granddaughters and 3 grandsons. If I ever get wind of them out until midnight, no matter what day it is, my kids are goin' to have a chat with the "Boss"!