The Conservative Cave

Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: franksolich on January 01, 2019, 10:08:42 PM

Title: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: franksolich on January 01, 2019, 10:08:42 PM
https://www.democraticunderground.com/114220375

Oh my.

Quote
CTyankee (52,761 posts)     Sun Dec 23, 2018, 11:11 AM

I can barely make it to the bathroom in time...

I came back from California on Oct. 31stt and have had explosive diarrhea off and on since then. My guess was that I had caught a virus while being in an airplane for 6 hours. But today is Dec. 23rd and I am still experiencing it. I'm treating the symptoms with Immodium and Dramamine for my nausea.

Now I've had to cancel Christmas with my family. I was able to order some stuff online but will miss the festivities. I am feeling so damn weak, too.

I'll go to my pcp next week but I think he'll tell me the same thing I already know. But it will make me feel better not to have to worry.

You know, it was about a year ago that I came home permanently from chemotherapy, which had been way too violent even for someone of my size and state of health; it seemed even little old ladies were handling it better than I was.

After ceasing the treatment, for the next month I endured uncontrollable bowels, a particular humiliation for me because theretofore I'd always enjoyed bowels that did what I told them to do, moved when I told them to move. 

Privately, I wore disposable underwear for about that month; easy to do because I live alone, unobservable by others.

But after about four weeks of this Hell, the problem resolved itself and I was utterly, boringly, gratefully, regular again.

I swore I would never laugh at anybody compelled to wear disposable underwear.

But in the case of primitives, I make an exception.

Quote
Cousin Dupree (381 posts)    Sun Dec 23, 2018, 01:16 PM
 
13. You need medical attention, and not next week! If you had to cancel Christmas you are sick.

Need to be seen today or tomorrow. Please don’t delay.


Quote
CTyankee (52,761 posts)      Sun Dec 23, 2018, 02:57 PM

20. I am in agreement there. How enjoyable can you be celebrating Christmas sitting in an adult

diaper.

Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: franksolich on January 01, 2019, 10:32:54 PM
Notice please, the primitive blames it on something she might have caught on the airplane.

I think not; I think it was something she caught while in California, mingling, shopping, dining, among disease-ridden illegal immigrants.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: franksolich on January 01, 2019, 10:45:29 PM
Uh oh.

Now she got better.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/114220422

Quote
CTyankee (52,761 posts)     Tue Jan 1, 2019, 12:04 PM

I am so much better today. My nasty intestinal problem has now changed to normal functioning.

The question is: do I still call my gastroenterologist tomorrow for an appointment? He was on vacation when I was experiencing the worst of it. Now I am even feeling stronger, having felt weak as a kitten for the duration of the worst part.

Missing Christmas was difficult but necessary and my daughter understood when I told her of the dire circumstances. I will call her and tell her of my recovery and she'll be relieved.

In case one doesn't know, the primitive, who's self-admittedly 79 years old, is a trust fund baby--Texas oil money from a long  time ago--who now lives in Connecticut.

She's also the Hetty Green of Skins's island.

In case one doesn't know, Hetty Green was a millionairess during the Gilded Age, flush with money, money coming out of her ears, but who insisted she was as poor as a church-mouse, and lived stingily as if she really were.

I've rarely seen a primitive so willing to spend $10's worth of time and energy to get out of spending $1 on something.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: Carl on January 02, 2019, 06:01:22 AM
Two months of it and it suddenly fixed itself in a week.  :whatever:
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: FlaGator on January 02, 2019, 06:22:40 AM
Two months of it and it suddenly fixed itself in a week.  :whatever:

Must have Obamacare.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: SVPete on January 02, 2019, 07:54:21 AM
Two months of it and it suddenly fixed itself in a week.  :whatever:

Yeah, something doesn't make sense. D lasting that long would be something fatal, like e. coli, or a parasite, which would not magically go away (and whose other effects on the body continue even after the body is rid of the parasite).
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: DUmpDiver on January 02, 2019, 10:11:00 AM
This is a prime example of the type of thing you should NOT share in The Internet. (Except perhaps on a medical forum when seeking advice.)
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: YupItsMe on January 02, 2019, 02:06:23 PM
My promise to ConservativeCave.  If I ever have explosive diarrhea, I promise not to share that with you.   :mental:
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: Ralph Wiggum on January 02, 2019, 02:48:58 PM
Thus far every time I have come across this thread, it makes me think of DUmmy Pam.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: landofconfusion80 on January 02, 2019, 03:29:20 PM
My promise to ConservativeCave.  If I ever have explosive diarrhea, I promise not to share that with you.   :mental:
But regular grade is still acceptable? I'd miss your posts if you stopped! ;)
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: Old n Grumpy on January 02, 2019, 04:52:12 PM
Two months of it and it suddenly fixed itself in a week.  :whatever:

She went to the dollar store and bought a cork! :-) :lmao: :lmao:
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: SVPete on January 02, 2019, 05:01:09 PM
Thus far every time I have come across this thread, it makes me think of DUmmy Pam.

That was where my mind went when I first saw the thread title.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: Zathras on January 02, 2019, 05:07:24 PM
So the wife of Biggus Dickus posts at DU? Who knew.

Life of Brian reference if you're confused.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: Zathras on January 02, 2019, 05:15:00 PM
Duplicate.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: Big Dog on January 02, 2019, 06:43:58 PM
So the wife of Bigus Dickus posts at DU? Who knew.

Life of Brian reference if you're confused.

 :rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: DLR Pyro on January 02, 2019, 08:22:44 PM
So the wife of Bigus Dickus posts at DU? Who knew.

Life of Brian reference if you're confused.
I believe she went by the name of Fatticus Buttocus...
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: Zathras on January 02, 2019, 08:41:32 PM
I believe she went by the name of Fatticus Buttocus...

Nope. Her name? Incontinentia. Incontinentia Buttocks.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: SVPete on January 02, 2019, 09:06:06 PM
Does this DU thread clarify the old saying, "@#$% for brains"? DUpipo are always losing their minds ...
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: franksolich on January 02, 2019, 09:32:44 PM
This is a prime example of the type of thing you should NOT share in The Internet. (Except perhaps on a medical forum when seeking advice.)

Oh trust me, they've shared much worse.

Probably there aren't many around any more who remember the Las Vegas Leviathan (aka The Gentle Giant, aka Ege Bamyasi), the quarter-tonner who sometimes went into great detail about how he was so "handicapped" his wife had to wipe him when he was done on the commode.....and his ever-occurring chafing, of which he even posted photographs.

And I'm pretty sure those with better memories than mine can recall really bad insances of "TMI" (too much information).

What Hetty Green's admitted to here is pretty mild; they just don't make primitives as open and honest and explicit as they used to.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: Mr Mannn on January 02, 2019, 09:39:09 PM
CTyankee Must be Cold Warrior on DI. https://www.discussionist.com/1016292050
Methinks CW has a computer in the commode. His rage can only be explained by explosive diarrhea.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: franksolich on January 02, 2019, 11:52:20 PM
CTyankee Must be Cold Warrior on DI. https://www.discussionist.com/1016292050
Methinks CW has a computer in the commode. His rage can only be explained by explosive diarrhea.

You know, sir, when watching this dude's reactions to what's posted here, I'm oftentimes reminded of the Taverner primitive's famous words of warning for the rest of the primitives uttered just as Skins was banning him, "those guys [referring to the DUmpster] play you like a harp."

Or perhaps he was referring to an organ, not a harp; I forget which.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: Maverick1987 on January 03, 2019, 12:08:23 AM
You know, sir, when watching this dude's reactions to what's posted here, I'm oftentimes reminded of the Taverner primitive's famous words of warning for the rest of the primitives uttered just as Skins was banning him, "those guys [referring to the DUmpster] play you like a harp."

Or perhaps he was referring to an organ, not a harp; I forget which.

CW is a harping, flaccid organ

 :-)
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: franksolich on January 03, 2019, 01:18:46 AM
CW is a harping, flaccid organ.

Well, he's certainly nobody remarkable.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: BadCat on January 03, 2019, 08:24:59 AM
Well, he's certainly nobody remarkable.

He still has an active account here (West Coaster), he should come over and talk to you.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: franksolich on January 03, 2019, 08:32:15 AM
He still has an active account here (West Coaster), he should come over and talk to you.

Well, as an object of the guy's uninvited attention, I sometimes wonder why he hasn't taken that upon himself; after all, I'm an eminently approachable person, mellow towards anybody coming my way.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: franksolich on January 03, 2019, 09:06:48 AM
The primitive just won't give up.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/114220439

Quote
CTyankee (52,771 posts)     Wed Jan 2, 2019, 10:50 AM

I'm seeing my gastroenterologist Friday at 10 a.m.

I think I'll know more after that visit...will report back right here...

Quote
CTyankee (52,771 posts)      Wed Jan 2, 2019, 12:19 PM

4. Gotta get all the facts on the table and I need to know what is going on...

She's not going to take my advice, but I offer it anyway; it's obvious the primitive should add more fiber and roughage to her diet.  I've never been illuminated why, but the primitives seem to have a morbid aversion to dining on fiber.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: BadCat on January 03, 2019, 11:03:39 AM
The primitive just won't give up.

https://www.democraticunderground.com/114220439

She's not going to take my advice, but I offer it anyway; it's obvious the primitive should add more fiber and roughage to her diet.  I've never been illuminated why, but the primitives seem to have a morbid aversion to dining on fiber.

Strange.  They are the only people I've ever seen who eat lentils.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: Ptarmigan on January 03, 2019, 07:12:31 PM
CTyankee Must be Cold Warrior on DI. https://www.discussionist.com/1016292050
Methinks CW has a computer in the commode. His rage can only be explained by explosive diarrhea.


Hmmmmmmmm................................ They are both extremely narcissistic.
Title: Re: affluent primitive has uncontrollable bowels
Post by: I_B_Perky on January 07, 2019, 07:26:05 PM
Oh trust me, they've shared much worse.

Probably there aren't many around any more who remember the Las Vegas Leviathan (aka The Gentle Giant, aka Ege Bamyasi), the quarter-tonner who sometimes went into great detail about how he was so "handicapped" his wife had to wipe him when he was done on the commode.....and his ever-occurring chafing, of which he even posted photographs.

And I'm pretty sure those with better memories than mine can recall really bad insances of "TMI" (too much information).

What Hetty Green's admitted to here is pretty mild; they just don't make primitives as open and honest and explicit as they used to.

Oh man Coach... what didn't Kirk talk about?  And the posting of the pics!!!     :puke: