Au contraire. When my husband (along with a busload full of grown men) arrived at Parris Island MCB, a female drill instructor is the one who climbed on the bus to order them to unload, and she scared the bejeezus out of the whole bunch.
Women can assert themselves and be authoritative, and simply because some women look like "B's" doesn't mean that every woman who asserts authority is one.
Plenty of women assert authority and are well respected. From the Bible: Deborah, Huldah, Anna. From modern day: Margaret Thatcher, Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachmann.
I can't say that I know the spouses of any of these women...but from the looks of it, Todd Palin is not a doormat. Sarah can assert herself out in the world just fine without emasculating her husband. I would go so far as to believe that the women most honored in the Bible may have exerted authority without having to "win."
I work in healthcare, so the majority of our leaders are women. There are some that manage excellent departments without causing anyone to look on them as b's. Most, however, only manage because their employees are already dedicated to doing well for the sake of the patient. That is certainly not to say that men aren't lousy leaders...but the facts still remain that a man and a woman exhibiting
identical behavior will cause different reactions in those under their authority. A few exceptions here and there no more negate that rule than any other.
As for the pastor-church relationship, it is not only the nature of humans to look up to male leaders with less defensiveness, but this relationship also mirrors the relationship between Christ and the church. Even at it's most warped, mankind has never been truly comfortable with expecting women to lay down their lives in the way Christ laid down His life for His church. (on edit, to add to this, the pastorate is an overwhelming job, demanding 24x7 attention, calling pastors out in the middle of the night for emergencies of all sorts. A woman who is a mother has no business taking on a job like this, either!)
I know women can command obedience and terrify people. We are so good at it that, today, we tend to destroy our most intimate males...husbands and sons. That is why a woman is blessed when she chooses not to do so.
I am not going to insist that any other women stop bullying and henpecking their husbands...or that no one can possibly respect a female pastor...I'm just saying that for the BEST relationships, the BEST outcome of the church, the male leadership is the key.
