The Conservative Cave
Interests => Around the House & In the Garage => Topic started by: Chris_ on May 04, 2012, 08:30:20 PM
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Everybody believes they know what a beater is.
“My old 10 year old Chevy Cavalier is a real beater!â€, they may remark in some self-affirming way. “Why it’s old and it has 120k miles, and the paint is faded… and…â€, they will continue to go through the list on the mistaken belief that any car made in the late Clinton to Bush era is a beater. They’re not. At least not quite yet. Any car that can be scanned or diagnosed with a conventional OBDII scanner is not a beater.
Then there is the modern day Yuppie beater. “I have a late 90′s Mercedes E-Class that’s a true beater!†Never mind that the car would fit in at any country club if the owner bothered to give it a good detail.
In my humble opinion, these types of cars are not beaters at all. What qualifies? Well let’s go through the list shall we?
The ‘E’ Factor: As in embarassment. A true beater will always have a degree of social stigma attached to it. As in, “Did you see that crappy car that Flo the crackhead waitress drives? What a beater!†If your car blends in with the scenery of drivers, it’s not a beater. Only when a car sticks out in ‘that way’ does it qualify. Ten points.
Daily Driver: If you don’t use it as a daily driver no dice. Some may call it an antique. Others may call it junque. Either way it has to stay on the road to be a true beater. Five points.
Dents Don’t Matter: If hitting another object that is made out of steel does not require even a glance at the damage, five points.
Orphan Brand: Oldsmobile, Saturns, Pontiacs, Plymouth, Saabs and Hummers all get one point. Actually, they have to be at least 17 years old.
The Truth About Cars (http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2012/05/hammer-time-the-beater-index/)
Go read the rest. :-) :rofl:
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Based on this, my wife's 2000 Accord with 201,000 miles on it ain't a beater. This, despite the fact that a fat-ass bitch at Wal-mart crashed her f'n buggy into the side of the car and didn't say shit about it until I rolled the window down and called her on it.
Dumbass wench. :bigbird: Left a small dent, but that pales in comparison with the swipe that yet another idiot left on the car in a hit and run last summer sometime.
At this rate, the car will be a frickin' beater next week. :thatsright: