Author Topic: The Little Red Hen for Liberals  (Read 12562 times)

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Offline FiddlingAnt

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The Little Red Hen for Liberals
« on: June 30, 2014, 03:45:02 PM »
If you grew up in a home with children books, you are most likely familiar with the story of the Little Red Hen. This industrious bird started off with some grains of wheat and ended up with a loaf a bread. She invited the other farm animals to help out with the work, but they all declined until it came to the part where the bread was ready to eat. They were all willing to join at this point, but the Little Red Hen did not share because the other animals did not help with the work.

Alas, it is a message for another age.

Is this how things are now? Of course not.

Here is the story of the Little Red Hen, updated for liberals

Once upon a time there was a Little Red Hen who found some cast-off wheat. She decided she would plant it, so in turn she asked Duck, Goose, Cat, and Pig if any of them would help her plant the wheat.

"Not I!" replied each in turn.

"Then I will plant it by myself," said the Little Red Hen.

"No you won't," said the Government.

"Why not? I found this cast-off seed that no one wanted." said the Little Red Hen.

"You are in violation of the Plant Variety Protection Act. You don't have permission to use that seed. You have to buy it from a company that owns the intellectual property rights. This seed is confiscated." The Government took the seed away.

So the second year Little Red Hen bought some government approved wheat and planted it. When the wheat was ready to harvest, the Little Red Hen asked Duck, Goose, Cat, and Pig if any of them would help her reap the wheat.

"Not I!" replied each in turn.

"Then I will reap it by myself," said the Little Red Hen.

"No you won't," said the Government.

"Why not?"

"Was your farm inspected for FDA compliance?" asked the Government.

"No," said the Little Red Hen.

"Then this wheat is confiscated," said the Government.

The third year she bought the government approved wheat and paid for the FDA inspection. She planted and harvested the wheat. It was time to take it to the mill to turn it to flour. The Little Red Hen asked Duck, Goose, Cat, and Pig if any of them would help her transport the wheat to the mill.

"Not I!" replied each in turn.

"Then I will carry it by myself," said the Little Red Hen.

"No you won't," said the Government.

"Why not?"

"Did you comply with the Food Safety Modernization Act rule on transportation of human and animal food?" asked the Government.

"No, I don't even know what that is," said the Little Red Hen.

"Then this wheat is confiscated," said the Government.

The fourth year the Little Red Hen bought the government approved wheat and paid for the FDA inspection and complied with the Food Safety Modernization Act rule on transportation of human and animal food. She planted, harvested, and transported the wheat to the mill. She brought it home to make the flour into dough. The Little Red Hen asked Duck, Goose, Cat, and Pig if any of them would help her make flour into dough.

"Not I!" replied each in turn.

"Then I will make the dough myself," said the Little Red Hen.

"No you won't," said the Government.

"Why not?" asked the Little Red Hen.

"Is your kitchen licensed for preparing food?" asked the Government.

"No," said the Little Red Hen.

"Then this flour is confiscated," said the Government.

The fifth year the Little Red Hen bought the government approved wheat and paid for the FDA inspection and complied with the Food Safety Modernization Act rule on transportation of human and animal food and obtained a license to prepare food in her kitchen. She did everything following the governmental regulations. It was time to bake the dough into bread. The Little Red Hen asked Duck, Goose, Cat, and Pig if any of them would help her bake the dough.

"Not I!" replied each in turn.

"Then I will bake it myself," said the Little Red Hen.

"No you won't," said the Government.

"Why not?" asked the Little Red Hen.

"Do you have approved labeling with required nutrition disclosures?" asked the Government.

"No," said the Little Red Hen.

"Then this dough is confiscated," said the Government.

The sixth year the Little Red Hen bought the government approved wheat and paid for the FDA inspection and complied with the Food Safety Modernization Act rule on transportation of human and animal food and obtained a license to prepare food in her kitchen and obtained approved labeling with required nutrition disclosures. Finally she had done everything in the government approved way. She baked the bread and it smelled delicious. It was time to eat the bread. The Little Red Hen asked Duck, Goose, Cat, and Pig if any of them would like to eat the bread.

"I will!" replied each in turn.

"No, I will eat it all myself," said the Little Red Hen.

"No you won't," said the Government, who proceeded to take half of the Little Red Hen's loaf to cover her taxes. The Government then gave bread to Duck, Goose, Cat, and Pig.

The seventh year the Little Red Hen did not go to all the trouble to make bread. Instead, she signed up for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) and got her bread from the Government.

The End.

Offline wasp69

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Re: The Little Red Hen for Liberals
« Reply #1 on: June 30, 2014, 04:26:40 PM »
"We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and then bid the geldings to be fruitful."

C.S. Lewis

A community may possess all the necessary moral qualifications, in so high a degree, as to be capable of self-government under the most adverse circumstances; while, on the other hand, another may be so sunk in ignorance and vice, as to be incapable of forming a conception of liberty, or of living, even when most favored by circumstances, under any other than an absolute and despotic government.

John C Calhoun, "Disquisition on Government", 1840

Offline Karin

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Re: The Little Red Hen for Liberals
« Reply #2 on: June 30, 2014, 04:52:57 PM »
It's depressing but true. 

Offline obumazombie

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Re: The Little Red Hen for Liberals
« Reply #3 on: June 30, 2014, 11:21:39 PM »
Man does not live on bread alone !
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.

Offline Big Dog

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CAVE FVROREM PATIENTIS.

Offline Karin

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Re: The Little Red Hen for Liberals
« Reply #5 on: July 01, 2014, 04:54:44 PM »
That's not safe for work, guys.

Offline Wineslob

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Re: The Little Red Hen for Liberals
« Reply #6 on: July 01, 2014, 05:16:01 PM »
That's not safe for work, guys.

I know, you could trip and fall face first on them.
“The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

        -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 BC (106-43 BC)

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Offline txradioguy

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Re: The Little Red Hen for Liberals
« Reply #7 on: July 02, 2014, 02:15:20 PM »
How may of this ****tards posts are going to have to get moved out of politics before he stops posting them here?
The libs/dems of today are the Quislings of former years. The cowards who would vote a fraud into office in exchange for handouts from the devil.

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Offline DefiantSix

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Re: The Little Red Hen for Liberals
« Reply #8 on: July 02, 2014, 02:25:34 PM »
How may of this ****tards posts are going to have to get moved out of politics before he stops posting them here?

1+1+1+1+∞ = Turnip. [/'Tard_Math]

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