This is an experiment. I'm typing this sentence and the ones that follow in order to determine if I have the same problem I had before. So far, so good. What I wound up doing was going to the Acer menu (you know, that menu that all these computers have that you can use to buy shit or report a problem or go Airplane mode (whatever the **** THAT is) and this one offered me the option of turning off the touchpad. Function/F7. Goodbye, asshole Touchpad. Your ass is sucking buttermilk now.
I never could get to the BIOS because the machine would boot up like it always did, even though I pressed F1, F7, F8, F9, F10 during bootup. Apparently I don't have the magic Acer wand that gets me into the BIOS.
**** 'em. I don't need 'em. Mister Touchpad, your shit is toast. And I'm a much happier camper now.