Mr. Met Having Trouble Sleeping In New Home

[BlueStateSaint]

I saw this on Mets Today, one of the blogs dedicated to the New York Mets.  It's originally from The Onion.

Mr. Met Having Trouble Sleeping In New Home

FLUSHING, NEW YORK—After dozing off between innings in front of more than 41,000 cheering fans Monday night, an exhausted Mr. Met informed team officials that he has not slept since the Mets moved from Shea Stadium to Citi Field.
 
According to Mets GM Omar Minaya, Mr. Met entered his office and used a series of pantomimes to indicate that his sleep disorder is caused by brighter stadium lights, uncomfortable temperatures, and Darryl Strawberry's snoring. Minaya, who spent two hours meeting with the 47-year-old mascot, said Mr. Met conveyed the degree of his fatigue by holding his hands several feet apart.

"Obviously, Mr. Met is integral to this organization, and we are quite concerned with his well-being" said Minaya, adding that the Mets are committed to making the longest-serving member of their team comfortable. "After assuring him that the late-night noises he heard were most likely concrete settling, I promised we would get animal control to remove Darryl."

"It often takes a little time to adjust to living in a new place," Minaya added. "Personally, I don't think the inside of the new home run apple smells that weird."

Despite the raucous throng of fans eager to celebrate the opening of the new ballpark as the Mets took on San Diego, the listless Mr. Met shuffled onto the field during pregame warm-ups and lethargically attempted to pump up the crowd with a few halfhearted waves and hand-claps. Not even third baseman David Wright's game-tying three-run homer in the fifth inning inspired the weary mascot, who was seen sitting atop the dugout clutching his oversized baseball head and massaging the seams at his temples in gentle circles.

It's good.  It continues here:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/mr_met_having_trouble_sleeping_in