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Author Topic: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars  (Read 2509 times)

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Offline Tess Anderson

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British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« on: May 22, 2008, 11:54:53 PM »
???

I didn't even know this was possible:

Quote
Edward Smith, who lives with his current "girlfriend" – a white Volkswagen Beetle named Vanilla, insisted that he was not "sick" and had no desire to change his ways.

"I appreciate beauty and I go a little bit beyond appreciating the beauty of a car only to the point of what I feel is an expression of love," he said.

"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall but when I see movies like Herbie and Knight Rider, where cars become loveable, huggable characters it's just wonderful.

"I'm a romantic. I write poetry about cars, I sing to them and talk to them just like a girlfriend. I know what's in my heart and I have no desire to change."

He added: "I'm not sick and I don't want to hurt anyone, cars are just my preference."

Mr Smith, 57, first had sex with a car at the age of 15, and claims he has never been attracted to women or men.

But his wandering eye has spread beyond cars to other vehicles. He says that his most intense sexual experience was "making love" to the helicopter from 1980s TV hit Airwolf.


enough, rest: link

And apparently, he's dead serious here - he should think about relocating to CA, illegally or not, marrying "Vanilla" (he could cheat with the helicopters on the side), and filing suit in the court system there.


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Offline Dixie*Darling

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2008, 12:24:40 AM »
Quote
"Maybe I'm a little bit off the wall ..."

A little?  Farkin' fruitcake!
Ugh!  He's from Washington state originally. 

:confused: Humor me. 
How is this physically possible other than   :jerkit: on it?

I have a sure cure for this idiot. 
All he needs to do is slam the car door on his pecker, once.
Sick, depraved behavior cured!
« Last Edit: May 23, 2008, 12:29:02 AM by Dixie*Darling »
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Offline Lacarnut

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2008, 12:29:20 AM »
My first read was him having sex 1k times in the car not with his car.  :mental: s
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Offline RGSG99

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2008, 06:34:35 AM »
Don't people sometimes...you know...with the tailpipes of cars?  Don't ask how I know that.  What a freak.   :mental:
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Offline megimoo

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2008, 07:48:33 AM »
Quote from: RGSG99 on May 23, 2008, 06:34:35 AM
Don't people sometimes...you know...with the tailpipes of cars?  Don't ask how I know that.  What a freak.   :mental:
Having sex with the tailpipe ?That sounds like a good way to burn your 'willie' !
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Offline Chris_

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2008, 07:50:10 AM »
Quote from: megimoo on May 23, 2008, 07:48:33 AM
Quote from: RGSG99 on May 23, 2008, 06:34:35 AM
Don't people sometimes...you know...with the tailpipes of cars?  Don't ask how I know that.  What a freak.   :mental:
Having sex with the tailpipe ?That sounds like a good way to burn your 'willie' !
Wouldn't that be rather exhausting?   :-)
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Offline jtyangel

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2008, 08:28:01 AM »
Depravity has no limit does it. yuck...and yes, sir, you are 'sick'...during your sexual development you somehow made that connection to vehicles much like a serial killer makes that connection to violence or torture...You aren't hurting anyone but you are still a fruitcake, buddy.
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Offline jinxmchue

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2008, 02:20:59 PM »
Quote from: lug-nut on May 23, 2008, 07:50:10 AM
Quote from: megimoo on May 23, 2008, 07:48:33 AM
Quote from: RGSG99 on May 23, 2008, 06:34:35 AM
Don't people sometimes...you know...with the tailpipes of cars?  Don't ask how I know that.  What a freak.   :mental:
Having sex with the tailpipe ?That sounds like a good way to burn your 'willie' !
Wouldn't that be rather exhausting?   :-)

Yeah, and if you practice safe sex, you might burn rubber.
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Offline megimoo

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2008, 02:31:13 PM »
Quote from: jtyangel on May 23, 2008, 08:28:01 AM
Depravity has no limit does it. yuck...and yes, sir, you are 'sick'...during your sexual development you somehow made that connection to vehicles much like a serial killer makes that connection to violence or torture...You aren't hurting anyone but you are still a fruitcake, buddy.
In the book 'Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask '.There is a guy with a sexual thing for pumpernickle bread loves !
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Offline RGSG99

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2008, 04:44:34 PM »
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmQPQ9DJchc[/youtube]

Ummm...yeah...   :thatsright:
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Offline Chris_

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2008, 05:04:30 PM »
Quote from: jinxmchue on May 23, 2008, 02:20:59 PM
Quote from: lug-nut on May 23, 2008, 07:50:10 AM
Quote from: megimoo on May 23, 2008, 07:48:33 AM
Quote from: RGSG99 on May 23, 2008, 06:34:35 AM
Don't people sometimes...you know...with the tailpipes of cars?  Don't ask how I know that.  What a freak.   :mental:
Having sex with the tailpipe ?That sounds like a good way to burn your 'willie' !
Wouldn't that be rather exhausting?   :-)

Yeah, and if you practice safe sex, you might burn rubber.
...or strip your gears.   :o
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Offline cottondress

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #11 on: May 23, 2008, 05:22:24 PM »
Lordy...who'da thunk  that at my age I would be getting sex education on a conservative political web site?? alligators...cars...can't wait for the next one...LOL
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Offline jinxmchue

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #12 on: May 23, 2008, 09:37:41 PM »
Remember, kids: when you have sex with a car, it's like you're having sex with every other person who had sex with that car before you.
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Offline jtyangel

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #13 on: May 23, 2008, 09:50:24 PM »
Quote from: megimoo on May 23, 2008, 02:31:13 PM
Quote from: jtyangel on May 23, 2008, 08:28:01 AM
Depravity has no limit does it. yuck...and yes, sir, you are 'sick'...during your sexual development you somehow made that connection to vehicles much like a serial killer makes that connection to violence or torture...You aren't hurting anyone but you are still a fruitcake, buddy.
In the book 'Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex * But Were Afraid to Ask '.There is a guy with a sexual thing for pumpernickle bread loves !

Ugh! just why? lol..I mean was their a loaf near by during those crucial developmental moments? Did he complete himself in the kitchen with the pumpernickel in his line of site. Really... :thatsright:
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Offline Randy

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #14 on: May 24, 2008, 01:11:13 PM »
[youtube=425,350]bQD3maK3-1c[/youtube]

:-)
« Last Edit: May 24, 2008, 01:14:21 PM by Randy »
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Offline Willow

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #15 on: May 24, 2008, 01:15:02 PM »
I bet he needs a lube job!  ::)
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Offline miskie

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #16 on: May 24, 2008, 02:43:55 PM »
Talk about fulfilling Ones Car-nal Desires..   :innocent:   (+ 1)

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Offline Chris_

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Re: British Man admits having sex with 1,000 cars
« Reply #17 on: May 24, 2008, 02:53:34 PM »
Quote from: miskie on May 24, 2008, 02:43:55 PM
Talk about fulfilling Ones Car-nal Desires..   :innocent:   (+ 1)

:rimshot:
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