Okay, as others have probably figured out by now, I could never get that Virus Research Lab 2009 thing to respond. At first thinking it legitimate, I tried to register, but it wouldn't let me register. It took 15 or so minutes before I speculated, uh, this doesn't seem legit.....but it never did allow me to register anyway.
So no harm done.
However, I am curious about something. I already had Norton--updated and good and all that--but Norton never caught this thing. I took the suggestion of freedumb, and downloaded and installed that thing.....but it never detected this virus lab either. I downloaded and installed a third anti-virulent.....but it never detected that thing either.
At that point, I decided, oops, it might be a good idea to get off the internet.
Just before doing that, I checked Outlook Express, which opened, and then something similar to a three-mile-long strip of adding-machine paper stubbornly adhered to the right side of the screen of Outlook Express, repeating hundreds and hundreds of times the same thing, the same line over and over and over "connecting to [my internet service provider]."
That was when I yanked the connection cord to the internet.
And thus my comment to Mr. Wiggum, which perhaps seemed odd to him, given that Mr. Wiggum had no knowledge of the script I had devised for our telephone conversation, that I find anti-virulents all but useless. Why did their "findings" vary so much, from 19 threats to 211 threats?
The next morning, Sunday morning, I gave it all one last Boy Scout try. I turned on the computer (with the connection to the internet still unconnected), and ran a disc scan. The disc scan said everything was okay, and after it got done, up again popped the Virus Research Lab 2009.
This time, however, the message was different; it said if I paid $79.95, it would remove the threats.
Immediately after which I got out the wire-cutters, screwdrivers, and hammer, reducing the thing to Rice-Krispies-sized pieces of black plastic and metallic metal.
