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Author Topic: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu  (Read 774 times)

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Offline franksolich

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Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« on: July 08, 2009, 06:40:53 AM »
http://upload.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x6012671

Remember, there's three sorts of primitive tales:

(a) a bouncy, where the primitive "converts" a "freeper";
(b) a stretchy, where the primitive exaggerates important details; and
(c) a zulu, where the primitive fails to "convert".

Quote
armyowalgreens  (1000+ posts)      Wed Jul-08-09 04:27 AM
Original message
 
I had a run-in with an unstable right-wing customer tonight...

Generally speaking, I don't advertise my political ideologies. And this is why...

I was waiting on a seemingly very nice old couple tonight and the restaurant was very slow. So I sat down and we sparked up a conversation about how the old man use to be a pastor (I'm agnostic, but he seemed like a nice guy) and my job/schooling. I explained to them that I am an undergrad planning on going to law school. But between my undergrad and law school I'm planning on joining the Peace Corp...

Well I'll be damned if the old mans face didn't get this disgusted look on his face. "You're not doing it because OBAMA told you to, are you?"

I kind of stopped for a moment to mull over the reasons why he would say such a thing. Of course my crazy-alarm was going off. I said "uhhh no I want to have a career in foreign aid work and I thought the Peace Corp. would be a nice start"...

That's when the old man changed from kind old Jesus lover to psychotic idiot.

"Well I'm glad you aren't doing it because OBAMA forced you to."

"uhhhhh yeeaaahhhhh"

"I've gotta tell you that man is going to destroy this country. You know he's a socialist..."

That's when I remembered that I am, in fact, a socialist myself.

"uhhhh yeaaaaaahhh I don't know...."

"Oh no, he is. He might even be," and he leaned in towards me and strengthened his voice, " a COMMUNIST!"

The wife chimed in "I don't even know how he got elected."

I stumbled over this pot hole of insanity "uuuhhhhh yeah some people think that"

"Wait, you don't support him do you? Are you a liberal?"

Not knowing exactly how to respond and frightened for my life I said, "Well I'm left of center when it comes to politics and I voted for Obama because I liked his policies. But he isn't exactly living up to his promises..."

I don't think he realized that I meant that Obama wasn't liberal enough. But he seemed a bit unsettled by the fact that I was "left of center" (if that isn't the understatement of the ****ing century).

I decided that we were heading down a very bad path. So I changed the subject to politicians, in general, in hopes of staying away from my political views. After all, I am relying on these people to leave me a good tip. I also don't want to find out that he has a hair-trigger finger and a .357 in his pants.

"I mean I'm definitely not a republican, but I think I share your discontent with politicians in general"

He smiled and puffed up his chest, "Yeah those people make me sick. They don't actually give a damn about us"

Feeling better about the situation I said "Yeah I'd have to agree. I can only think of a few truly genuine politicians"

This is when he jumped off the diving-board of lunacy and cannon-balled into the deep end of mental illness.

"Yeah well I don't trust any of them. America hasn't actually had a president since Reagan. If I had it my way, I'd fire all of them, dissolve congress, and form a dictatorship. I'd be a benevolent dictator."

I swear to god folks I can't make this shit up. His belief that he is some sort of Deity kind of scared the ****ing shit out of me...and then he nonchalantly said...

"Yeah and I'd deport all the illegals, stop welfare and kill all the socialists too."

Was he advocating for the assassination of Obama? I'd like to say no. But logic points to "abso-****ing-lutely". Just as horrifying, he was essentially advocating that I be killed.

He went on to say that only lazy "******s" need welfare. He felt compelled to explain the difference between a "black person" and a "******".

By the end of our conversation, my head was spinning, I think I might have shat myself and I wanted to get the hell away from that couple as quickly as possible.

As I turned to walk to the kitchen, the old man said "You seem like a nice kid, I think I'd make you my right hand man"...I thanked him for the consideration and walked back to the kitchen where I chugged a glass of water and reflected on what had just taken place.

The incredible irony of this entire "event" was that as they walked out the front door, the old man said that if I ever ran for office, he'd vote for me because I seemed "genuine"...

You've heard it hear folks. A right-wing Christian murderous dictator-wannabe nut case just endorsed a godless socialist for public office.

My god. I need to go wash the "holy****ingshit" off me.

The kid's got some writing talent, and bears watching.

Quote
armyowalgreens  (1000+ posts)      Wed Jul-08-09 04:49 AM
Response to Reply #3
 
4. I really did think this guy was unstable. I just wanted to keep everything as cool as possible.

Normally, I am the first person to jump into a debate. My friends constantly bitch about me never shutting up.

This situation was entirely different than anything I've ever handled before. I was very uncomfortable and just wanted it to be over with. Honestly, the tip thing was more of a joke. At best, I made a few bucks off them.

Uh oh.  A skeptical primitive plops up, like a Fat Che in a punchbowl:

Quote
WeDidIt (1000+ posts)      Wed Jul-08-09 06:23 AM
Response to Original message
 
11. I don't buy it

Not a word of it.
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Offline Texacon

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2009, 06:59:40 AM »
Quote
armyowalgreens  (1000+ posts)      Wed Jul-08-09 04:49 AM
Response to Reply #3
 
4. I really did think this guy was unstable. I just wanted to keep everything as cool as possible.

Normally, I am the first person to jump into a debate. My friends constantly bitch about me never shutting up.

This situation was entirely different than anything I've ever handled before. I was very uncomfortable and just wanted it to be over with. Honestly, the tip thing was more of a joke. At best, I made a few bucks off them.

Spoken like a true CAPITALIST!  Socialist my ass.  How much of that tip will be handed to the rest of the staff??

KC
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2009, 07:02:57 AM »
Quote from: Texacon on July 08, 2009, 06:59:40 AM
Spoken like a true CAPITALIST!  Socialist my ass.  How much of that tip will be handed to the rest of the staff??

I kind of paused at that, too.

Then I let it pass; the Wal-Mart primitive's only 19 years old.

But if a primitive twice his age, or more likely three times his age, had made the comment, I would've jumped all over it.

<<gives allowances for green youthhood.
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Offline JohnnyReb

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2009, 07:25:20 AM »
"Generally speaking, I don't advertise my political ideologies. And this is why..."....because I usually get my a$$ stomped by more intelligent people.....and even pastors.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2009, 11:44:56 AM »
I would have believed this story if he had added some comments from Ty, the bouncer.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2009, 11:53:30 AM »
 :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: :bs: 6 flag bouncy :mental:
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Offline BadCat

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2009, 12:14:29 PM »
Ok, that did it.

Where's the thread where he sez he got the new job at Village Inn?
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Offline delilahmused

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2009, 12:16:50 PM »
Well, we've covered all the bases: Obama's a socialist/communist...the obligatory "******" that's uttered every single time one of these idiots has an imaginary conversation, and of course the word for word memory.

IF she did sit down with a customer (and unless she knows them it's quite ****ing rude since she has no idea whether they WANT company) she probably immediately started in with her crap. They probably sat there stunned that someone could be so completely vapid, crass, and pushy while spewing the same old liberal song and dance they've heard since the 60's.

This after a lifetime of experience...but of course a DUmmie knows better than people who have more life experience, thus are better able to understand WHY they have the values they do. As a general rule, elderly people are NOT confrontational. My sweet Nana won't even argue with relatives when she knows she's right.

About the only thing they probably said to her about joining the Peace Corps was "good for you" or "good luck". I'd leave a small tip too if some waitress came and sat down at my table. I'd definitely (politely) ask her to leave. I might even complain to the manager. What a ditz.

Cindie
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Offline BadCat

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2009, 12:20:00 PM »
Here's the number for the Village Inn he claims to work at:

(480) 985-6501‎

Need the post where he said he got the job, so we can provide a "start date" for the managers.
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Help keep America beautiful...deface a liberal.

The Democrat and Republican parties are simply the left and right wings of the same bird of prey.

The road to freedom is paved with dead liberals.

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Offline BadCat

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2009, 12:28:00 PM »
He claims he started work on 6/8.
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Help keep America beautiful...deface a liberal.

The Democrat and Republican parties are simply the left and right wings of the same bird of prey.

The road to freedom is paved with dead liberals.

21fadb4221652b86382c8f73526880b7

Offline USA4ME

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2009, 12:40:28 PM »
Quote from:
armyowalgreens

I explained to them that I am an undergrad planning on going to law school.

Missed your calling.  Lib lawyers are a dime a dozen and easily slapped around in court.  Try creative writing instead.

.
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Offline franksolich

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2009, 12:49:47 PM »
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Offline jukin

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Re: Wal-Mart primitive tells a zulu
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2009, 01:06:24 PM »
I miss the old bouncies.
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