Primitives discuss things they can't do; fizzy primitive leads off

[BattleHymn]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018620379

Fri May 23, 2014, 10:41 PM
fizzgig (20,218 posts)

what seemingly normal skills did you never develop?


i can't roll a joint to save my life and can usually only parallel park if the spot is the size of a luxury liner.

i've tried, believe me, but a drunken monkey is more skilled than i am in both situations.

Fri May 23, 2014, 10:45 PM
Boomerproud (1,166 posts)
1. Your two and I'll up the ante with I can't blow a bubble with bubble gum

and a hundred other things I could name but I'm too ashamed.

Oh come now, don't be ashamed.  We're all friends here.

Fri May 23, 2014, 10:50 PM
fizzgig (20,218 posts)
3. i'll let you in on a dirty secret

cooking is my hobby and i can't make rice for shit. i can't even make it properly in a rice cooker.

it's my secret shame 

edit: i should say i can't make white rice. i'm perfectly capable of making brown rice.

If I were fizzy's husband-- well, I'd shoot myself.  But aside from that, I'd constantly be asking her to make white rice, so as to keep her in the kitchen, so I could sneak in watching more tidbits of  Fox News.

Fri May 23, 2014, 10:50 PM
Star Member TexasTowelie (9,010 posts)
2. I can't whistle.

But I can twist a joint!

Fri May 23, 2014, 11:38 PM
fizzgig (20,218 posts)
12. i couldn't swim for any real distance

and i can barely skate.

Apparently fizzy in incapable of doing most things normal people can do.  I would imagine if she keeps up her ballooning weight, she won't have to worry about swimming, because sinking will become an impossibility.

Fri May 23, 2014, 11:49 PM
Star Member csziggy (15,850 posts)
16. Applying make up, nail polish, dressing up like a girl, fixing up my hair

It's kind of amazing that in a family of all girls, I never learned any of those skills.

Does anybody know if this lumpenunterprimitiven is a boy or a girl?

Fri May 23, 2014, 11:52 PM
fizzgig (20,218 posts)
18. i should have included that

i do like to do it a few times a year, but it's a very painstaking process. i don't bother with my hair, though. i clip it short and let it do what it does.

Sat May 24, 2014, 12:44 AM
fizzgig (20,218 posts)
27. i'm not so hot at pancakes

my last batch came out quite nicely though. i used the blueberry pancake recipe from america's test kitchen and they were great.

here's a few tips

Sat May 24, 2014, 12:47 AM
fizzgig (20,218 posts)
28. i can't run, either

Sat May 24, 2014, 12:49 AM
fizzgig (20,218 posts)
29. i can only spit sometimes

i spit on myself as often as not.

Sat May 24, 2014, 12:43 AM
Chan790 (16,413 posts)
26. I can't drive.

That's a misstatement of sorts, but not really. The state of CT says I cannot have a license. I do know how to operate a moving vehicle provided I don't need to back-up. It wasn't ever that important to me to learn anyways...I'm a city kid. I take public transit or cabs everywhere.

On August 17, 2011, the Chan primitive was fired from its job, and looks to have been populating the unemployment rolls ever since.

Sat May 24, 2014, 02:37 AM
Star Member steve2470 (20,993 posts)
33. fixing household items

Still earning my "traditional male" card there   

(yes I know fixing stuff is a non-gendered thing, a joke there)

Sat May 24, 2014, 05:50 AM
Star Member Ron Obvious (2,561 posts)
35. Life

I'm afraid it's that simple...

One honest primitive says what all of them are thinking.

[thundley4]

I don't know if I can roll a joint. Never tried to and have no reason to try.

[Chris_]

I don't know if I can roll a joint. Never tried to and have no reason to try.

I've forgotten how many times that question has come up during a job interview.

(yes I know fixing stuff is a non-gendered thing, a joke there)

What a sad sack.

[Carl]

Boy,that leftist revolution they scream for will sure be a hoot.

[thundley4]

Boy,that leftist revolution they scream for will sure be a hoot.

Now we know why they prefer the government teat compared to actually moving to a commune where they would be expected to contribute.

[dane]

In this thread, Fizzgig shows herself to be the exact opposite of gNads.  Anything anyone else can do, gNads can do it better and probably did it first.

Anything someone mentioned in this thread they couldn't do, Fizzgig posted that she couldn't do it either.  She must be practically helpless.

On a side note, in the animated movie "The Dark Crystal", there was a yappy little animal of some sort named 'Fizzgig', and had frizzy fur.

[BattleHymn]

On a side note, in the animated movie "The Dark Crystal", there was a yappy little animal of some sort named 'Fizzgig', and had frizzy fur.

Yes, the creature you refer to is what fizzgig has as her custom avatar.

[Bad Dog]

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018620379

Does anybody know if this lumpenunterprimitiven is a boy or a girl?
 

Yes.  Sorry BH couldn't resist.

[dane]

Yes, the creature you refer to is what fizzgig has as her custom avatar.

Thanks.  I did not know that.  I have dial up (slow), laptop w/ USB modem (even slower), so I've shut of some features like avatars to save a few moments here and there. 

on edit, I didn't really do anything, but photos in posts and avatars show up as little squares with a red x in them.

[BattleHymn]

Thanks.  I did not know that.  I have dial up (slow), laptop w/ USB modem (even slower), so I've shut of some features like avatars to save a few moments here and there. 

on edit, I didn't really do anything, but photos in posts and avatars show up as little squares with a red x in them.

I was wondering how you'd overlooked her avatar.  That explains it. 

[Dori]

The fizzy one sounds like she's uncoordinated and ditzy.

I don't know why she has so much trouble with rice.  It's one of the easiest things out there. 

Oh wait...she lives in CO, maybe it's an altitude thing.

[Big Dog]

Sat May 24, 2014, 12:49 AM
fizzgig (20,218 posts)
29. i can only spit sometimes

fizzy's a sometime spitter. No word if she swallows the rest of the time.

Perhaps it depends if Mr. Fizz (or one of her "bar buddies", if we are going to be honest about it) is holding her by the hair- which could explain this:

i don't bother with my hair, though. i clip it short and let it do what it does.

More fizzy goodness:

i spit on myself as often as not.

In English, that is called "drooling".

[Carl]

The fizzy one sounds like she's uncoordinated and ditzy.

I don't know why she has so much trouble with rice.  It's one of the easiest things out there. 

Oh wait...she lives in CO, maybe it's an altitude thing.

It is an attention whoring crazy.
One post it will go on about it can`t afford food for the next meal and then later will talk of eating at different restaurants.
When it tips over it shaves its head as some sort of catharsis.

[GOBUCKS]

You will never see a reply to this thread from nutcase nadin.

[miskie]

You will never see a reply to this thread from nutcase nadin.

(singing)

Anything you can do,
Nads can do better.
Nads can do anything
Better than you.

[USA4ME]

None of the primitives know how to vote correctly. A normal skill for decent and civilized people, but not for them.

.

[I_B_Perky]

Apparently none of the dummies can remain gainfully employed either.