Tom Cruise is batshit crazy. (This video was done in '04, BTW)
Here's a little commentary on the four-minutes-and-change from hell.
1) They made an actual DVD of this? Not a cheap-ass Cousins Bar Mitzvah or Wedding DVD that gets fuzzy within 2 viewings. . .a MOVIE QUALITY DVD... WITH CHAPTERS!!!
2) He walked in to the theme from TOP GUN? WTF? No one told him about this
wonderful reworking? Or
this one?
Wow. . .way to quell those "Tom is Gay" rumors, Miss Cruise.
3) Okay, everyone. . .we need to apologize to Bob Seeger. RIGHT NOW. His music shouldn't be abused like this. We're watching the death of an 80's classic. Oh, and Tom's going down in flames too. But he's used to that.
4) Dancing. There's one gay stereotype he's defied. He can't dance for shit. Way to go Miss Cruise. . .shake that ...<chokes down vomit> groove thing, baby. And... DANCERS? Not even good (read:naked with big hooties) ones. Then again, it's. . .Tom. That may not be her thing.
5) Okay... whose the dude in the tight t-shirt. Is that... David Miscavidge? Whoa... they're a little close there. According to Rolling Stone, they're VERY close. My money's on Tom being a power bottom . . . Eww. Cruise doing anything sexual... excuse me... gonna have to heave.
6) That LAUGH. GAWD. Nascent serial killers all over the world will hang it up in the face of that laugh. . .I don't think they can make it to that level of insanely sinister.
7) Heh... for someone who is "not the #2..." they sure went all the **** out for someone who is shit instead of The Shit for a birthday party.
....my church just sent me a card and the media ministry got me cake. I feel gypped.
Maybe
I need to go batshit crazy.
*TKay*
