Author Topic: The Fiddling Ant Finds Home in Cave  (Read 2037 times)

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Offline FiddlingAnt

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The Fiddling Ant Finds Home in Cave
« on: April 11, 2013, 09:35:20 PM »
I am happy to find this forum.  I am not sure how much time I will have to visit it.  Like many conservatives, I have a job and family that are more important than social media.

However, while some people enjoy hobbies such as golf or fishing, for me I enjoy writing.  I recently started a conservative blog. So far the most popular post is about a liberal who has a phone conversation with his 100 year old future self and he is horrified to discover the future of America that chooses to follow liberal policies. 

http://fiddlingant.blogspot.com/2013/03/i-phoned-my-100-year-old-future-self.html

When I am not writing about the follies of liberals, I enjoy changing the words to well known songs to give people a laugh. Sample:

The Lady's Getting Old
Sung to the tune of The Lady Is a Tramp


VERSE
 
I've rolled along for many years
Was always cool and with it.
The Beach Boys to the Beatles
Their music, I could dig it.
Alas, I missed the boat somewhere,
Cause I’m no longer mod.
Say who’s this Lady Gaga?
How’d she get on my Ipod?
‘Cause now the world spins too fast for me.
My Home Sweet Home is the place to be.
 
REFRAIN 1
 
I get too sleepy for dinner at eight.
I get insomnia - that leaves me irate.
My spouse’s doctor, he checks his prostrate.
That's why this lady’s getting old.
I don’t play card games all night any mo’.
Won't ride a Harley to Ole Mexico.
Can’t dance to hip hop, I’ve got fungus toes.
That's why this lady’s getting old.
 
I like the fresh new brown in my hair,
Life without care,
I'm broke, That's oke.
Hates winter weather, it’s wet and it’s cold,
That's why this lady’s getting old.
 
REFRAIN 2
I look in the mirror - the scene’s in decline.
I wear bifocals - the newsprint’s too fine.
I check the obits and read ev'ry line.
That's why this lady’s getting old.
I like a body that isn't too fake.
Hand me the Bengay, my back’s got an ache.
Sit me in church and I can’t stay awake.
That's why this lady’s getting old.
 
I got these orthos inside my shoes.
What can I lose?
Their flat! That's that!
Hey, I can’t help it, if I smell like mold.
That's why this lady’s getting old.
 


REFRAIN 3
 
Don't miss the special, when dinner’s at five.
I don't like funerals-I'm glad I'm alive.
I crave affection, but hey, where’s the drive?
That's why this lady’s getting old.
Kids go out dancing and leave me behind.
I waltz and foxtrot but can’t bump and grind.
Kids don’t play Sinatra, they’re out of their mind-
That's why this lady’s getting old.
 
I like to pass gas whenever I please.
Sail with the breeze.
No dough-heigh-ho!
Love Donny Osmond. I’d kiss him tenfold.
That's why this lady’s getting old.
 
REFRAIN 4
My feet need massaging, they cry and they moan.
Tell Father Time he’s to leave me alone.
I'm not so hot, but my shape is my own.
That's why this lady’s getting old!
The chicks in college are perfect, no doubt.
I wouldn't know what that scene’s all about.
I turn the wrong way and something falls out.
That's why this lady’s getting old!
 
I like the sweet, fresh rain in my face.
Diamonds and lace,
No got-so what?
I’ll keep on singing, till I’ve turned stone cold.
That's why this lady’s getting old.

Offline chitownchica

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Re: The Fiddling Ant Finds Home in Cave
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2013, 01:09:33 AM »
Welcome  :cheersmate:.

Offline Revolution

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Re: The Fiddling Ant Finds Home in Cave
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2013, 02:48:01 AM »
Welcome to our humble abode, FA.

:usflag: :salutearmy: :saluteaf: :saluteusmc: :salutenavy: :taps:
THANK YOU for what you do!

soon as you find your manhood all else falls into place.

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Guns do not kill people. Rotting, festering, disgusting, grimy, evil, un-reparable souls kill people.

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Offline Karin

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Re: The Fiddling Ant Finds Home in Cave
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2013, 03:11:08 PM »
Welcome!  Enjoyed the song.

Offline A7X_foREVer

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Re: The Fiddling Ant Finds Home in Cave
« Reply #4 on: April 17, 2013, 03:15:29 PM »
Welcome
Voting for Obama for a second term would be like the captain of the Titanic backing into the iceberg again

Offline obumazombie

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Re: The Fiddling Ant Finds Home in Cave
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2013, 04:05:35 AM »
Welcome. Come back to at least lurk.
There were only two options for gender. At last count there are at least 12, according to libs. By that standard, I'm a male lesbian.