AIDS UPDATE REPORT
If you catch it from a cocktail waitress, it’s called BARMAIDS.
If you get it from a virgin, it’s called FIRSTAIDS.
If you got infected by Jack Lemmon, it’s called LEMONAIDS.
If you catch it at school, it’s called GRAIDS.
If you get it from a freezer salesman, it’s called KOOLAIDS.
If you catch it in Florida, it’s called GATORAIDS.
If it’s spread by cockroaches, it’s called RAIDS.
If you get it from Bo Derek, it’s called BRAIDS.
If you catch it while marching, it’s called PARAIDS.
If you get it from an air freshener, it’s called GLAIDS.
If you give it back to someone who infected you, it’s named TRAIDS.
If you catch it in France, it’s PAR LE VOIZ FRANCAIDS.
If it comes from a gangbanger, it’s called SWITCHBLAIDS.
If you get it from a black person, it’s ZIPPITY DO DA DAIDS.
If it comes from Bill Clinton, it’s known as PRESIDENTIAL AIDS.
If you get it from infected sunglasses, it’s called SHAIDS.
If you catch it at the end of the week, it’s known as TGI FRIDAIDS.
If you get it at a party, it’s called CHARAIDS.
If you catch it on Halloween, it’s called MARQUERAIDS.
If the source is a leather jacket, it’s known as SUAIDS.
If it’s from an automatic dishwasher, it’s CASCAIDS.
From a Jamaican, it would be called REGGAIDS.
A strain from a candy bay is called MILKY WAIDS.
If you get it from a musician, it’s known as BANDAIDS.
If you get it in a swamp, it’s called EVERGLAIDS.
If you catch it by self-infliction, it’s called MASTERBAIDS.
If you catch it during a poker game, it’s from the QUEEN OF SPAIDS.
Caught from a parking ticket, it’s known as METER MAIDS.
A hospital worker can give you NURSEMAIDS, while a lawyer may give you LEGALAIDS.