Bad news. Obama isn’t going to show up at the inauguration because he decided the spectacle is beneath him. Instead, he sent his prophets in the media to deliver his ten commandments to the American people. He even chiseled them in stone — or at least he did the first one. He seemed to have given up after that and instead used a sharpie for the rest.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF OBAMA
I. I am thine president, Obama. Thou shall have no other politician before me.
II. For I am a jealous Obama, thou shall make no other idols than of me, Obama. And don’t go crazy emphasizing the ears.
III. Thou shalt not use the name of Obama in vain or confuse it with Osama.
IV. Remember the inauguration day and keep it holy, for it is the day of your deliverance.
V. Honor your Democratic Senators and Representative, for they do the bidding of Obama.
VI. Thou shalt not own a gun nor cling to it.
VII. Thou shalt not get all moralistic about sex stuff.
VIII. Thou shalt not find tax loopholes for that is stealing against Obama.
IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness or any other kind of witness against Obama in court.
X. Thou shalt not covet thy own money, for it is the property of Obama.
Stolen from
Frank J, who is way more funny than I am.
