so where do ya'll know each other from? 
they came from Milnet.....................in all honesty I believe that jack and the Hippie kidnapped em on the Short Bus
Naw, CH, that ain't quite what happened.
Here's the deal. This is no shit.
Hippie was a homeless alcoholic, pretty much down on his luck. But he found himself a cardboard box in the southern part of Baltimore, and hung out under a railroad trestle. This was last September.
Jack was the last official hitchhiker that was EVER able to get a ride (decorum keeps me from mentioning precisely HOW he was able to get rides, but believe me, he ran out of condoms long before it was over -- and the condoms WEREN'T for him), but he managed to hitchhike his way from Texas, through Louisiana, Alabama, heading east toward D.C.
Jack had a friend once in D.C. He was actually a midget and a tard to boot. But it was the only friend that Jack ever had. (Jack's that way, you know.)
But as luck would have it, Jack had a bottle of Jack and found himself in Baltimore where he had his last encounter with a truck driver. (The truck driver bought Jack the bottle of Jack out of gratitude because it had been awhile for the truck driver, if you know what I mean.)
So Jack meandered down toward the railroad trestle and saw the big cardboard box where Hippie was living. Hippie had a box of macaroons, a jar of peanut butter, and a big stack of midget porn magazines in his box. There was also a box of tissues, but decorum again prevents me from saying precisely what the tissues were for.
But Jack spotted the stack of midget porn magazines and the two began talking. In a previous life, Jack had had a midget sister, but she took some HGH and actually grew up -- except her breasts never grew in proportion. The whole experience threw Jack into a tizzy and he fantasized about growing up himself and running the Short Bus, which, of course, is outfitted with a big pile of tards.
So after Jack knocked on the door of the cardboard box and Hippie and Jack began talking (after sampling from the midget porn magazines), Jack mentioned his fantasy about the Short Bus outfitted with tards. (By the way, for the sake of clarity, the "tards" are really a euphemism for "Coasties".)
Since Hippie himself is a Coastie, he latched onto this idea and before you know it, Jack and Hippie were falling all over themselves with stories about midgets, rum, Coasties, and tards, of course.
It was a match made in heaven.
The two eventually made it to D.C. where Hippie turned from a hopeless drunk into just homeless. He got cleaned up (used the rest of the box of tissues in the process), bought a new box of condoms for his customers, and began...uh...picked up where Jack left off.
They amassed $1,367.23 in all and bought a ramshackle, barely-running Short Bus.
Six quarts of oil later, they managed to outfit the Short Bus with 63 tards of all shapes and sizes. Some of them were retired Coasties, but most were just Coasties. That meant they were about two steps away from cirrhosis.
This occurred last November and with the cold weather, the two have managed to wind their way back to Texas where Jack has a larger cardboard box.
There is no garage for the Short Bus. But the two of them are extremely happy.
