It's quite an odd hobby you've have.
Log off the internet, and go out for a walk. You might feel better.
I said I'd be back.
I have no illusions that you will read any of this, but most of what we say is directed at our brethren and at the smattering of lurking DUmmies who know the awful truth, just like the fat **** who knows it's self-defeating to ram a cupcake in her mouth, but she does it anyway.
So far in the few moments I've had to steal longing glances at this thread, you've proven to be an actual DUmmy. This is evinced by your terse smugness, which is a time-worn liberal strategy of trying to appear above the fray and above reproach. Whereas your terse, smug posts make you feel superior, they make you look like a tongue-tied buffoon. Even so, I will favor you with an answer, meted in separate parts. Before I articulate my reasons, however, let me correct you: we do not troll DU. We ridicule DU. The difference is critical.
Part I**** you. That's why we ridicule DU. Because **** you.
Let us assume that you aren't satisfied with that answer. In that case, onward we go:
Part IIWe ridicule DU because we are not allowed to rebut or opine on DU. Skinner famously said that there are many other sites on the net for political debate, so there would be none on his site. All well and good, but the preclusion of debate has led to two mutually eccentric effects:
1. You people post increasingly insane things; and
2. We are increasingly effective at calling it out and broadcasting it.
Because DU is an echo chamber which disallows moderate or conservative opinion altogether, posters are encouraged to drift ever more leftward. However, increasingly we find that your posters are not
actually leftists, and that is why we delight in exposing them and calling them out. We also find that in the absence of debate on DU, posters are encouraged and emboldened to espouse views that would hardly pass scrutiny outside DU's web server. Let's consider, for example, two of my favorite whipping boys: randys1 and kpete. Kpete trolls the internet to find memes which decry wealth and privilege and the like, yet she does this from a position of privilege and wealth that very few people (let alone most DUmmies) can comprehend. This is not a matter of opinion; it is an empirical fact. It has been proven, you see. I simply have the good taste not to splay her particulars all over the internet, because at the end of the day I begrudge only her hypocrisy, not her wealth. Moreover, there is no evidence that her husband, the source of her wealth, has anything to do with her behavior and her self-delusion. My dander is aroused further by the fact that many DUmmies who do not have a pot to piss in nor means of defenestration, who regularly decry the privileges of the 1%, grant kpete immunity. This, despite the fact that she enjoys every stereotype of a poor DUmmy's jealously: gated community. McMansion. SUV. And so on. Ultimately, the joke is on them. Why do I ridicule DU? Because kpete
is allowed to exist there without the slightest comment from people she could buy and sell a thousand times over.With respect to Randys1, the lack of controls or checks on his DU persona has led him to assume a peculiar position: he is an elderly, wealthy white man who believes that calling out some alleged race-based privilege of other DUmmies entitles him to throw off his actual self in favor of his desired self. My casual empiricism indicates that when on DU, Randy prefers to assume the persona of an enraged race warrior, coming to the aid and defense of each and every black person in the United States, whether they want or need his heroics. Because there are no checks on DU, a rich white man whose privilege is an order of magnitude greater than most of yours is granted the privilege of calling out anyone who happens to hedge even slightly against his screeds (let alone disagree). Randy believes that his heroics have caused us to stalk him, and indeed he has changed his screen name several times, partly to avoid detection. Indeed, Randy has at least two sockpuppets, and has replied to his own sockpuppets, which at one time was a bannable offense on DU. If I could debate Randy, I would, and I would win, because he is an uneducated buffoon who appeals to base instincts and bullying rather than to logic and reason. I spent several posts pointing out Randy's hypocrisy and his own privilege because it is flagrant and is never mentioned even once on DU. Randy supports reparations for slavery, yet he has bought and sold enough Swiss watches to have his own Randy Negro College Fund, or to endow the Some Cracka-Ass Honky Feels All Guilty and Shit Chair of I Wish I Was Black Studies at Howard University
and Spelman College. Why doesn't he do something like that? Why, because Rolex might introduce a new color for its ceramic bezels, and he might need funds to buy one.
If even one of you DUmmies would post just once, asking why these hypocritical and out-of-touch people are allowed to blather and bloviate on DU without response, we might draw less attention to you all. If just one of you said, "maybe we shouldn't ridicule how other people look, because we are fat and ugly, too," it would be less enticing and less rewarding to call you out. If you would support science even when it tells you something you don't want to hear, it would be less profitable to point at you and laugh. You would like for us to believe that we can control the vagaries of a climate by shutting off the economy, whereas until recent years we somehow believed that a fireball 93,000,000 miles away held most of the sway in the decision. In your self-assured discussions about climate and the need to stop others from enjoying their lives, one of you posted without irony or objection that he had recently flown to several places in which it was said to be warm outside, and he would report back on the anecdotal findings of others as he continued his flights to other places. These flights, mind you, are not and were not to save orphans from marauding bands of rogue Navy SEALS, nor were they to join Randy in his fight to defend "AfAms" from what they imagine is a nonstop hail of gunfire from the po-po. They were to expand his waistline and his bank account, which has been built over the years by connecting wealthy persons with items which only they can afford.
Object to that person, and credibility is yours. It is that simple.
Part IIIWe ridicule DU because you people are dumb, slow, ugly, and weak, yet you pretend that you are not, and you begrudge people who are not nearly so afflicted. You believe you are all more intelligent and articulate than anyone online or anyone in real life, yet your site fairly groans with spelling errors, bad grammar, mixed metaphors, logical fallacies too numerous to count, and general stupidity, thuggery, entitlement, and (again) hypocrisy. Why do we ridicule DU? Because, frankly, it is a miracle of modern cultural construction: it is as though in one place we can observe, concurrently, a gorilla habitat, the best bits of Mike Stivic, the collected self-unaware awkwardness of every Christopher Guest movie, the waiting room of a county hospital, and a loop of a pig reveling in the greasy spoor of his own shit. Good lord, man, you people are a gift from God.
Part IV Returning to my original thesis: **** you. That's why.
