Author Topic: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime  (Read 1875 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline landofconfusion80

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4289
  • Reputation: +609/-116
Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« on: December 12, 2013, 08:09:24 AM »
What they do in mom's basement all day

Quote
Ichingcarpenter (29,400 posts)

The little known benefits of masturbation

 Since we have Porn and Prostitution threads.....
Masturbation may:
1. Promote the release of endorphins, the neurotransmitters associated with happy feelings that can improve overall mood and fight off depression.
 2. Produce a chemical called oxytocin, which works as a natural pain reliever.
3. Help reduce headaches and muscle aches.
4. Relieve stress and tension and aid relaxation after a stressful day.
5. Provide a sexual outlet for people who are on their own, by choice or circumstance.
 6. Help to induce sleep, or conversely, help to start the day with more energy.
 7. Improve the immune system and contribute to overall health.
8. Strengthen muscle tone in the genital and pelvic floor area, which can lead to better sex.
 9. Keep you free from sexual transmitted infections as it's the safest kind of sex.
 10. Help people who suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), a neurological disorder causing leg pain, cramps, tingling and itching, (published in the medical journal Sleep Medicine). Several doctors in the US have had confirmation from their patients that it helps.
 11. Translate into better sex as stimulating each other at the same time is intimate and rewarding. People often masturbate into old age.
 Possible health benefits for women:
1. Combats pre-menstrual tension and other physical conditions associated with the menstrual cycle, such as cramps.
 2. Relieves painful menstruation by increasing blood flow to the pelvic region; which will also reduce pelvic cramping and related backaches.
 3. Builds resistance to yeast infections.
4. Allows women to explore and understand their bodies better, so they will know what they like when they have sex with a partner.
 Possible health benefits for men:
1. May help combat premature ejaculation by training to last longer; it's easier to practise control when on your own.
 2. Regular flushing of the system keeps semen healthy.
3. Frequent masturbation helps in preventing the development of prostate cancer. Cancer-causing chemicals can build up in the prostate if men do not ejaculate regularly.
 

Read more: http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life/the-little-known-benefits-of-masturbation-20131125-2y571.html#ixzz2nFmpVQZi
The ItchingCarpenter name really ties this whole campfire together.  

Quote
Ghost Dog (13,292 posts)

2. Yes. I agree with all these points.

Guess it beats working too!

Quote
handmade34 (10,801 posts)

6. "With regard to masturbation...


I think that is something that is a part of human sexuality and a part of something that perhaps should be taught,"
 
...a sad day when Joycelyn Elders was fired for speaking the truth
A blast from the past reference.  They were probably in tears when their favorite advocate was canned.

Quote
7962 (1,061 posts)

9. Now I have several more reasons to not get anything done!

Blast!
Like you needed another reason.

Quote
jamesatemple (262 posts)

23. WHAT?? Now you tell me!!

Good grief! You're about 70 years too late. You could have prevented all those years of denial, humiliation, anxiety, self-condemnation, redemption prayer, fear of toilet intrusion, and attention to the bra and girdle section of the Sears catalog. Oh well, at least I've managed to take care of my prostate gland. To think that mama would lie to me! Well, maybe not; maybe there is something to that "go crazy" part of the admonition.
She probably got tired of having to deal with all the protein stains in your superman underwear. "Sheesh, he's 45 years old, he has to grow out of this eventually!"  
« Last Edit: December 12, 2013, 08:12:13 AM by landofconfusion80 »
One Who Grows (244 posts)
20. absolute bullshit. the cave is unspeakably vile.

I don't know how any of you can live with yourselves.

:)

Offline JohnnyReb

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32063
  • Reputation: +1997/-134
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2013, 08:25:17 AM »
1. Promote the release of endorphins, the neurotransmitters associated with happy feelings that can improve overall mood and fight off depression.
2. Produce a chemical called oxytocin, which works as a natural pain reliever.
3. Help reduce headaches and muscle aches.
4. Relieve stress and tension and aid relaxation after a stressful day.
5. Provide a sexual outlet for people who are on their own, by choice or circumstance.
 6. Help to induce sleep, or conversely, help to start the day with more energy.
7. Improve the immune system and contribute to overall health.
8. Strengthen muscle tone in the genital and pelvic floor area, which can lead to better sex.
 9. Keep you free from sexual transmitted infections as it's the safest kind of sex.

 10. Help people who suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), a neurological disorder causing leg pain, cramps, tingling and itching, (published in the medical journal Sleep Medicine). Several doctors in the US have had confirmation from their patients that it helps.
 11. Translate into better sex as stimulating each other at the same time is intimate and rewarding. People often masturbate into old age.


Sounds like a good medicine, If it does all that, I shouldn't have bothered getting dressed this morning.

Anyone off to "Take their medicine? :naughty:
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline hillneck

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1517
  • Reputation: +119/-5
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2013, 08:27:36 AM »
I'm waiting for Nads to comment on this.     :rotf:    :-)
In battle you have to show no mercy for mercy comes after the war when you still have the freedom to ask for it.

"Montani Semper Liberi"

Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you.

Offline FiddyBeowulf

  • "Its on, its off, its on, its off." "That is called blinking, boys."
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5271
  • Reputation: +523/-34
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #3 on: December 12, 2013, 08:32:48 AM »
1. Promote the release of endorphins, the neurotransmitters associated with happy feelings that can improve overall mood and fight off depression.
2. Produce a chemical called oxytocin, which works as a natural pain reliever.
3. Help reduce headaches and muscle aches.
4. Relieve stress and tension and aid relaxation after a stressful day.
5. Provide a sexual outlet for people who are on their own, by choice or circumstance.
 6. Help to induce sleep, or conversely, help to start the day with more energy.
7. Improve the immune system and contribute to overall health.
8. Strengthen muscle tone in the genital and pelvic floor area, which can lead to better sex.
 9. Keep you free from sexual transmitted infections as it's the safest kind of sex.

 10. Help people who suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), a neurological disorder causing leg pain, cramps, tingling and itching, (published in the medical journal Sleep Medicine). Several doctors in the US have had confirmation from their patients that it helps.
 11. Translate into better sex as stimulating each other at the same time is intimate and rewarding. People often masturbate into old age.


Sounds like a good medicine, If it does all that, I shouldn't have bothered getting dressed this morning.

Anyone off to "Take their medicine? :naughty:
No way!!! The thought of a bunch of DUmmies groping themselves has killed any urge I may have had...for about the next 20 years.  :puke:
Fire...BAD!!! - John Fetterman


The policies that are indorsed by this party, that they backer of which are much of the 1 percent, causes a social structure much like the one back before the Revolution.

-Words of wisdom from Lady Freedom Returns

"Arguing with liberals...it's like playing chess with a pigeon; no matter how good I am at chess, the pigeon is just going to knock over the pieces, crap on the board and strut around like it's victorious." -- Anonymous

"A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat." - P. J. O'Rourke

Offline Mike220

  • Proud owner of a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4650
  • Reputation: +310/-122
  • Ron Swanson is my hero
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #4 on: December 12, 2013, 08:34:26 AM »
I'm waiting for Nads to comment on this.     :rotf:    :-)

I'm sure Cali will be by to give some of his/her favorite pointers, in poetic form of course. :fuelfire:
Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer "extortion." The "X" makes it sound cool. - Bender

"jews run the media" -- CreativeChristie
Woohoo! Bow to me peasants -- Me

Offline landofconfusion80

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4289
  • Reputation: +609/-116
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #5 on: December 12, 2013, 08:38:16 AM »
I'm sure Cali will be by to give some of his/her favorite pointers, in poetic form of course. :fuelfire:

Somehow you managed to make me laugh and completely ruined my day all at the same time.  You should really be ashamed!  You have earned both a Hi5 and a BS all in one post


One Who Grows (244 posts)
20. absolute bullshit. the cave is unspeakably vile.

I don't know how any of you can live with yourselves.

:)

Offline Freeper

  • Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 17779
  • Reputation: +1311/-314
  • Creepy ass cracker.
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2013, 09:26:17 AM »
If that was true, wouldn't the DUmmies be happier?
I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline landofconfusion80

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4289
  • Reputation: +609/-116
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2013, 09:37:41 AM »
If that was true, wouldn't the DUmmies be happier?

Imagine how self destructive they'd be if they didn't do that. perhaps Jergen's should suspend delivery to blue states for a few weeks, it'd be like Jonestown on a much larger scale.
One Who Grows (244 posts)
20. absolute bullshit. the cave is unspeakably vile.

I don't know how any of you can live with yourselves.

:)

Offline Skul

  • Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12475
  • Reputation: +914/-179
  • Chief of the cathouse
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2013, 10:00:56 AM »
There's got to be a CalPig poem in there someplace.  :whistling:
Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline JohnnyReb

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32063
  • Reputation: +1997/-134
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2013, 10:14:22 AM »
If that was true, wouldn't the DUmmies be happier?
No. Less happy. They're expecting the government to provide them a free mechanical arm to the job.
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline Skul

  • Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12475
  • Reputation: +914/-179
  • Chief of the cathouse
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2013, 10:16:12 AM »
No. Less happy. They're expecting the government to provide them a free mechanical arm to the job.
Or a free strap-on.  :whatever:
Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline Bad Dog

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5927
  • Reputation: +313/-313
  • God help me I do love it so
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2013, 10:40:33 AM »
Pretzel Boy, the chronic masterbator.

Offline BlueStateSaint

  • Here I come to save the day, because I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32553
  • Reputation: +1560/-191
  • RIP FDNY Lt. Rich Nappi d. 4/16/12
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2013, 10:44:21 AM »
There's got to be a CalPig poem in there someplace.  :whistling:

Something with "aching seed," no doubt. :runaway: :runaway: :runaway: :whistling:
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of Liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"All you have to do is look straight and see the road, and when you see it, don't sit looking at it - walk!" -Ayn Rand
 
"Those that trust God with their safety must yet use proper means for their safety, otherwise they tempt Him, and do not trust Him.  God will provide, but so must we also." - Matthew Henry, Commentary on 2 Chronicles 32, from Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible

"These anti-gun fools are more dangerous to liberty than street criminals or foreign spies."--Theodore Haas, Dachau Survivor

Chase her.
Chase her even when she's yours.
That's the only way you'll be assured to never lose her.

Offline hillneck

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1517
  • Reputation: +119/-5
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2013, 10:55:32 AM »
Something with "aching seed," no doubt. :runaway: :runaway: :runaway: :whistling:

Maybe "Unfruited Plains" will be the title.
In battle you have to show no mercy for mercy comes after the war when you still have the freedom to ask for it.

"Montani Semper Liberi"

Pray as if God will take care of all; act as if all is up to you.

Offline DumbAss Tanker

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 28493
  • Reputation: +1707/-151
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #14 on: December 12, 2013, 11:16:09 AM »
Anyone off to "Take their medicine? :naughty:

Nah...reading DUmmie 'thoughts' is a total boner-killer.
Go and tell the Spartans, O traveler passing by
That here, obedient to their law, we lie.

Anything worth shooting once is worth shooting at least twice.

Offline Mike220

  • Proud owner of a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4650
  • Reputation: +310/-122
  • Ron Swanson is my hero
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2013, 11:20:55 AM »
Somehow you managed to make me laugh and completely ruined my day all at the same time.  You should really be ashamed!  You have earned both a Hi5 and a BS all in one post




My work here is done.
Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer "extortion." The "X" makes it sound cool. - Bender

"jews run the media" -- CreativeChristie
Woohoo! Bow to me peasants -- Me

Offline JohnnyReb

  • In Memoriam
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 32063
  • Reputation: +1997/-134
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #16 on: December 12, 2013, 11:24:59 AM »
My work here is done.
Young as you are, you'll just have to do it over and over again...uh...you mean...oh never mind.
“The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of ‘liberalism’, they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.” - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

"America is like a healthy body and its resistance is threefold: its patriotism, its morality, and its spiritual life. If we can undermine these three areas, America will collapse from within."  Stalin

Offline Wineslob

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 14455
  • Reputation: +788/-193
  • Sucking the life out of Liberty
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #17 on: December 12, 2013, 12:20:53 PM »
Young as you are, you'll just have to do it over and over again...uh...you mean...oh never mind.


Ahh, the good old days.

 :rofl:
“The national budget must be balanced. The public debt must be reduced; the arrogance of the authorities must be moderated and controlled. Payments to foreign governments must be reduced, if the nation doesn't want to go bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

        -- Marcus Tullius Cicero, 55 BC (106-43 BC)

The unobtainable is unknown at Zombo.com



"Practice random violence and senseless acts of brutality"

If you want a gender neutral bathroom, go pee in the forest.

Offline Skul

  • Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12475
  • Reputation: +914/-179
  • Chief of the cathouse
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #18 on: December 12, 2013, 01:19:42 PM »
After viewing many images of the DUmps wymynz, I can understand why the DUmp menz would rather date Rosy Palm, and her five sisters.
Then-Chief Justice John Marshall observed, “Between a balanced republic and a democracy, the difference is like that between order and chaos.”

John Adams warned in a letter, “Remember democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There never was a democracy yet, that did not commit suicide.”

Offline Traveshamockery

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4391
  • Reputation: +373/-54
  • Nana to Kyle and Garrett
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #19 on: December 12, 2013, 03:16:19 PM »
I'm not really a prude, but can't people keep some things to themselves? 

 :whistling:

Offline Ralph Wiggum

  • It's unpossible that I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 18599
  • Reputation: +2055/-49
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #20 on: December 12, 2013, 03:17:51 PM »
I'm not really a prude, but can't people keep some things to themselves? 

 :whistling:

They're DUmmies, they can't resist.  :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
Voted hottest "chick" at CU - My hotness transcends gender


Offline Bad Dog

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5927
  • Reputation: +313/-313
  • God help me I do love it so
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #21 on: December 12, 2013, 03:19:41 PM »
They're DUmmies, they can't resist.  :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

We're gonna have to get bigger dossiers.

Offline Celtic Rose

  • All American Girl
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4150
  • Reputation: +303/-32
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #22 on: December 12, 2013, 03:22:52 PM »
I'm not really a prude, but can't people keep some things to themselves? 

 :whistling:

Wouldn't that be nice. 

Hint for the DUmmies, conservatives don't actually care what you do in your bedrooms, showers, etc.  We object to you forcing us, or our children, to listen to you talk about it or witness it. 

Offline GOBUCKS

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 24186
  • Reputation: +1812/-338
  • All in all, not bad, not bad at all
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #23 on: December 12, 2013, 03:23:48 PM »
LocoNuts is sobbing in the Lounge.

His hand stood him up.

Offline Ralph Wiggum

  • It's unpossible that I'm a
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 18599
  • Reputation: +2055/-49
Re: Primitives Discuss their Favorite Pastime
« Reply #24 on: December 12, 2013, 03:25:41 PM »
There's got to be a CalPig poem in there someplace.  :whistling:

Please NO!!!
Voted hottest "chick" at CU - My hotness transcends gender