1978-1979-1980-1981-1982-something-or-another Toyota 4x4. Six inch lift, on regular size wheels and tires. I'm sure at one point in its life, it was a good vehicle, but those years had long since passed by the time I came into possession of this scrap heap. This poor thing was cobbled together from at least three different years of pickups. I never got it registered in my name, because there was no way in hell it would pass a motor vehicle inspection. Some highlights:
-Cab completely rotted out, so I jacked up the cab and stacked sawed-off railroad tie ends that I duck taped to the frame to make it look sort of even. The top railroad tie end had to get progressively bigger, as the cab morphed around it, and would swallow the top tie, causing the driver's side of the cab to lose about two inches while traveling down the road.
-Dash cap almost completely eaten away by mice. What wasn't ate had been pissed on. I took it out, and was going to make something out of denim to make it look presentable. Well, presentable for this thing, at least.
-That key you see in the ignition? That was a Datsun key. It was handier than a screwdriver. The only downside was trying to fish your keys off the floor before they went under the seat, or fell through to the pavement.
-Unbeknownst to me, the alternator that was installed when I purchased the truck was an AC Delco. It died one day, which is when I noticed it was not bolted to the engine or frame with a single bolt, but held to the passenger frame rail with a very complicated series of ratchet straps that kept it close enough to the engine to keep a belt on it.
-When the AC Delco alternator died, I went to buy another alternator. I was told an internally regulated alternator was almost $100, while an externally regulated alternator was $30. "Give me the $30 one", I said, "I'll just wire in a push switch to charge the battery". What a mistake that was.
-Broken windshield, part way through ownership. This happened when I high centered it on a dry pond bank (as seen below) at the back of my parent's land, trying to impress my girlfriend, who is now spousal unit.
-Most of the seat guts were gone, so I had lots of duck tape and blankets to sit on. The blankets came in handy, because there was no carpet (the carpet really was carpet, and I took it out, since it smelled like pee), and the door panels were rotted out and removed. The heater worked, but you didn't want to turn it on. More on that in a moment.
-Gas pickup tube had broken off 3/4 of the way up, resulting in a total range of whatever you could get out of 1/4 of a tank. Due to this odd tube arrangement, when making a long-banking right hand turn, the total range would drop to about 200 feet. Restart involved coming to a complete stop, letting the gas settle, then starting the truck again, much to the chagrin of anyone stuck behind you.
-Too many electrical faults to even discuss. Broken odometer (at 173000 miles).
-Aisin carburetor. I did the best I could with what I had. It idled at about 2000 rpm and would die at anything below that. There was no air cleaner when I bought it, and I never put one on.
-At some point in time, the front end became slightly smooshed, resulting in the hood having a tendency to fly open at highway speeds. The hood soon became tack welded shut, after my father witnessed my attempt one day at fixing the hood myself (which involved me slamming the hood shut, crawling up on top of the hood, and jumping up and down on the hood as hard as I could while yelling "There! Now we're even!").
Probably the worst part about the whole truck was my fault though, when I switched the alternator over to an externally regulated unit. I wired the charge circuit to the battery via a click switch that hung from the bottom of the dashboard. It took me about two days to develop a profound respect for the task that an alternator regulator performs. A typical drive to work for me at the time (about four or five miles) would have me clicking the alternator click switch on and off about 40 times. It really was a huge chore. Since the other gauges weren't really useful due to broken parts (such as fuel gauge that was only good for the first 1/4 tank), or sporadic in their readings (speedometer), most of my time driving consisted of me frantically darting my eyes between the road, a voltage gauge I wired in, and fumbling for the click switch that hung by its two wires under the dash.
The absolute worst possible time to drive was at night, in the rain, in the cold, while making a right-hand turn. One had to juggle clicking the alternator on and off (I boiled the battery once by not being cautious enough with my charging clicker) while running the headlights, the wipers, the turn signal and the heater, while simultaneously trying to prevent complete and utter stall-out of the engine, from fuel starvation. The heater truly became a luxury that I only treated myself to when company was with, such as the then girlfriend, now spousal unit.
I managed to scrounge up a few pictures. I have one of the front end somewhere (no bumper- missing when I bought it), but can't find it tonight. At one time, I did try to paint the truck with white paint and spray-on bedliner, with predictable results. Behold:
If I can find more pictures, I might post them later. All in all, it was the worst $600 I ever spent. I traded it to my brother for a 1998 Gary Fisher Marlin bicycle, which I still have.