Author Topic: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...  (Read 44791 times)

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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« on: May 12, 2008, 11:48:08 PM »
The all-time classic.  We couldn't have made this one up....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x3172625

Quote
RandomKoolzip(1000+ posts)
Mon May-02-05 11:47 PM
Original message
So my boss was racially profiled last night....
   
My boss is an American Indian. Last night, he was walking home and happened, for some unknown reason, to zigzag while walking on the sidewalk to his apartment, and a cop jumped out of the bushes and stopped him from entering, then proceeded to browbeat him for twenty minutes for no ******* reason....I guess his pretense was that his irregular walking pattern made the cop think he might be a drunken burglar.

The weirdest thing about this story is that my boss, a couple years ago, was running down the street to return a video to Blockbuster on time (and he's an athletic guy, too, who enjoys running.)

A cop stopped him and questioned him for over an hour and was prepared to arrest him on suspicion of burglary...or for just having dark skin.

The kicker? It was the same cop, both times.

I am not making this shit up.

"You know something people? I'm not black, but there's a whole lot of times I wish I could say I'm not white." -Frank Zappa

The entire thread at the link is quite hilarious as well. :evillaugh: :evillaugh:
« Last Edit: May 12, 2008, 11:56:47 PM by Ralph Wiggum »
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Offline franksolich

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2008, 11:57:20 PM »
Oh oh my.

Oh my.

My fellow alum Skins forgot to scrub that thread; one wonders how he missed it.

Quote
RandomKoolzip  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue May-03-05 03:36 PM
Response to Original message

16. This is for the assholes at CU:
   
Yes, honestly, there was cop hiding in the bushes outside my boss's apartment. Cops do this shit. Just cuz you're white and have never experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Yes, I've read my share of somewhat bizarre "encounter with a freeper" stories that I don't always believe, but this actually happened.

Yes, this actually happened.

Do I need to say it again?

Yes, I am a liberal, so everything that I say is in doubt, unlike your leaders who never lie, exaggerate, or just make shit up.

But this story is true.

Yes, you are all dickless ****wads with far too much time on your hands and, in all likelihood, excessive body odor. And you probably have "backne," too.

Yes, you must go **** yourselves now.

PS:
And.
Your.
Ideology.
Is.
Shit.

Quote
mark414  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue May-03-05 03:49 PM
Response to Reply #16

18. was there a CU post about this?
   
inquiring minds want to know...

Quote
RandomKoolzip  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue May-03-05 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #18

19. Yes...they seized on the phrase "And a cop jumped out of the bushes" in my OP as a talisman to ward away credibilty.

I admit, "jumping out of the bushes" sounds a bit melodramatic, but there was a ****ing police officer, hiding in the bushes outside my boss's apartment. I asked him about it again today, because of the ****nobs over at CU raised such a stink about it, and he told me, that, yes, the guy was hiding behind a bush, as if he had been stalking him.

So, to the good folks at CU, whoops, sorry, poor word choice. Ya got me. I should have said, "And.
The.
Cop.
Jumped.
Up From.
BEHIND.
The.
Bushes."

Oh my god, I am SO SORRY!

How much you wanna bet the racial make-up of CU is 100% white as the driven snow, BTW?

The kool-aid primitive probably didn't know it at the time, but Skins's island is 97.8% or 98.7%, I forget which, white.

Quote
xmas74  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue May-03-05 05:21 PM
Response to Reply #16

26. Yours is not the only story over there.
   
I see that a poster by the name of Ralph Wiggum is passing around a pm that someone sent him about our recent tombstone.

I guess that you should just feel privileged.

http://www.conservativeunderground.com/forum/showthread...

(I wanted to find your story and found that we are on the front page-again!)

Quote
RandomKoolzip  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue May-03-05 04:27 PM
Response to Reply #21

22. No not yet. I'm sure the assbabies over at CU do, though.
   
Man, what bunch of bent pricks.

Quote
cassandra uprising  (1000+ posts) Tue May-03-05 04:54 PM
Response to Reply #22

23. Well, to toss in a trite platitude
   
Mockery is a form of flattery. They must think you're hot shit over there on CU. Or they are feeling especially uncreative and unable to generate their own lies and bullshit. Really, it's a compliment.

Oh my.
apres moi, le deluge

Offline Chris_

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2008, 05:43:18 PM »
Quote
So, to the good folks at CU, whoops, sorry, poor word choice. Ya got me. I should have said, "And.
The.
Cop.
Jumped.
Up From.
BEHIND.
The.
Bushes."

You're only making it worse for yourself.  :rofl:
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Offline BEG

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2008, 05:46:23 PM »
Every time I am reminded of that post I smile a little. 

Offline CactusCarlos

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2008, 07:34:51 PM »
Quote
RandomKoolzip  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Tue May-03-05 03:36 PM
Response to Original message

16. This is for the assholes at CU:
   
Yes, honestly, there was cop hiding in the bushes outside my boss's apartment. Cops do this shit. Just cuz you're white and have never experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Yes, I've read my share of somewhat bizarre "encounter with a freeper" stories that I don't always believe, but this actually happened.

Yes, this actually happened.

Do I need to say it again?

Yes, I am a liberal, so everything that I say is in doubt, unlike your leaders who never lie, exaggerate, or just make shit up.

But this story is true.

Yes, you are all dickless ****wads with far too much time on your hands and, in all likelihood, excessive body odor. And you probably have "backne," too.

Yes, you must go **** yourselves now.

PS:
And.
Your.
Ideology.
Is.
Shit.

:clap: :clap: :clap:   :rotf:
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism, but under the name of liberalism they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program until one day America will be a socialist nation without ever knowing how it happened."
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Offline jinxmchue

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #5 on: May 18, 2008, 11:49:10 PM »
Quote
they seized on the phrase "And a cop jumped out of the bushes" in my OP as a talisman to ward away credibilty

lol!

Offline Freeper

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2008, 10:40:06 AM »
After all these years that post is still funny as hell.  :rotf:
I may not lock my doors while sitting at a red light and a black man is near, but I sure as hell grab on tight to my wallet when any democrats are close by.

Offline Toastedturningtidelegs

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2008, 06:27:49 AM »
Quote
They must think you're hot shit
Yes another term for that is diarrhea. We still think that! :-)
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Offline LaceDustBoots

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #8 on: June 03, 2008, 06:52:21 AM »
Because of the "Dumping Ground", I now know the origins of "the cop jumped out of the bushes", "bouncy ball" and "green highlighter".

I've always wanted to ask, but just went along.  All of it is too funny! 

Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2009, 03:22:30 PM »
Bumping...because I needed a chuckle this afternoon, and it always helps the newbies.... :-)
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Offline Chump

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2009, 03:47:09 PM »
 :rotf: :lmao: :tongue:

So where do the terms "bouncy" and "green highlighter" come from??
Political tags - such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth - are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire.   ~Robert A. Heinlein

...let the cannibal who snarls that the freedom of man's mind was needed to create an industrial civilization, but is not needed to maintain it, be given an arrowhead and bearskin, not a university chair of economics.
~Atlas Shrugged, Galt's speech

Offline Chris

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #11 on: October 30, 2009, 10:18:32 PM »
:rotf: :lmao: :tongue:

So where do the terms "bouncy" and "green highlighter" come from??

You have to go read the TomInTib stories in the rest of the forum.
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Offline The Village Idiot

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2009, 10:30:43 PM »
I wonder if Chump has gotten to the part about Mythsage's "storybooks"

Offline Chump

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #13 on: October 30, 2009, 10:34:44 PM »
W.O.W.

So that's TiT...what a goof.  I'm gonna save the rest for tomorrow, this is some quality reading for sure.
Political tags - such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth - are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire.   ~Robert A. Heinlein

...let the cannibal who snarls that the freedom of man's mind was needed to create an industrial civilization, but is not needed to maintain it, be given an arrowhead and bearskin, not a university chair of economics.
~Atlas Shrugged, Galt's speech

Offline Chris

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #14 on: October 30, 2009, 10:52:14 PM »
I found the green highlighter/John Warner thread.  I don't remember if it was already posted, but its a riot.
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Offline GOBUCKS

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #15 on: October 31, 2009, 07:11:09 PM »
:rotf: :lmao: :tongue:

So where do the terms "bouncy" and "green highlighter" come from??

The highlighter comes from TiT's famous encounter with the guy from Carlyle Group. "Bouncy" comes from DUmmy Bouncy Balls, the godmother of all bouncy liars, and the namesake of the genre. Bouncy Balls made countless classic posts to establish the genre, which are sadly lost in the mists of time. If anyone has an original bouncy, it would be great to see.

Offline Chris

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2009, 08:48:20 PM »
The highlighter comes from TiT's famous encounter with the guy from Carlyle Group. "Bouncy" comes from DUmmy Bouncy Balls, the godmother of all bouncy liars, and the namesake of the genre. Bouncy Balls made countless classic posts to establish the genre, which are sadly lost in the mists of time. If anyone has an original bouncy, it would be great to see.

There are so many liars and frauds over there, even the DUmmies are starting to use the term.
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Offline miskie

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #17 on: November 01, 2009, 07:38:38 AM »
The highlighter comes from TiT's famous encounter with the guy from Carlyle Group. "Bouncy" comes from DUmmy Bouncy Balls, the godmother of all bouncy liars, and the namesake of the genre. Bouncy Balls made countless classic posts to establish the genre, which are sadly lost in the mists of time. If anyone has an original bouncy, it would be great to see.

Here is one --

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3326761

Quote from: Bouncy Ball
  Bouncy Ball  (1000+ posts)       Tue Mar-22-05 09:56 PM

Original message
WHOA! Fundy boss of Mr. Bouncy agrees with us and disagrees with bush!
   
What, are pigs flying around???

Mr. Bouncy came home from work and told me his FUNDIE, bush-lovin' boss TOTALLY disagrees on the Schiavo issue. He thinks her tube should remain out and the government should have never gotten involved beyond the courts that have decided it.

He told him he knows some of the churches involved with the protests in Florida (he's a HUGE Baptist) and he's "embarrassed by their behavior." He furthermore said "This is the first thing I have ever disagreed with bush about."

Dear Lord, I nearly fell over.

This guy maxed out on his contributions to bush's campaign AND helped to raise thousands more dollars. He went to DC to see the coronation. He has a FRAMED, autographed picture of Chimpy McCokeSpoon over his desk, for crying out loud.

Wow. Just....wow.


And another = http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x2748936
Quote from: Bouncy Ball
  Bouncy Ball  (1000+ posts)      Thu Mar-03-05 08:05 PM

Original message
I have to tell you this funny story (it's short!)
   
Edited on Thu Mar-03-05 08:05 PM by Bouncy Ball
One time, when I was teaching evening school (a punishment for the kids), a female coach came striding in and went right up to the female assistant principal standing next to me.

She had a piece of paper in her hand and said "I found this taped to the gym door."

It read, in a teenager's handwriting: "For free BJs, call xxx-xxx-xxxx" (there was a phone number there).

The coach looked seriously at the assistant principal and said, "WHAT did I TELL you about giving those out for FREE?"

The kids were supposed to be totally silent, doing work. I CHOKED.

The assistant principal had to run out of the room because her laughter was about to explode out of her. The coach just walked right back out, never cracked a smile.

I love working with people like that. They just make things so fun.

And another = http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x2824515]

Quote from: Bouncy Ball
  Bouncy Ball  (1000+ posts)       Tue Dec-14-04 10:33 AM
Original message

My brother in law is in an unarmored Humvee in Iraq
   
He got there about a month ago and we've been worried sick. He's my husband's brother and they are like best friends. Always have been. My husband is walking around in a daze. He's a veteran, too, but out now.

He emailed to say he is near Mosul and no one has armored vehicles. He is NG, used to be active duty Army, but now NG.

He has a wife, four year old daughter and two year old daughter. He's 40 years old.

My husband told me last night if anything happens to him, he'll never forgive bush and his filthy warmongering lies.

I've never seen my husband like this. I don't know why I posted this, I just needed to talk about this as it's weighing on us heavily. The lack of armor on the vehicle scares me--he apparently rides through some really bad areas all over that part of Iraq and is scheduled to go near Fallujah next week.

:-(

And another ..  http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x2712507

Quote from: Bouncy Ball
  Bouncy Ball  (1000+ posts)       Sat Feb-26-05 08:33 PM
Original message

One day my coworker and I decided to communicate only through meows.
   
As in "meow meow meow meow" all day long, using inflection and pointing to get our message across.

It lasted less than five minutes. Apparently we don't know Catese.

But the good news is, we really annoyed our repukey coworkers. They were ready to throw themselves off a bridge.

Anyone else ever tried that? Did it work?

I could go on all day posting these things  :-)

Offline bijou

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #18 on: November 01, 2009, 10:34:26 AM »
Lordy, I had never seen the meowing one before. It won't just have been 'repukes' ready to throw themselves off a bridge, after a day of that any sentient being would be losing the will to live.



Offline Ralph Wiggum

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #19 on: November 01, 2009, 10:52:34 AM »
:rotf: :lmao: :tongue:

So where do the terms "bouncy" and "green highlighter" come from??

Here's a good refresher thread on the original "Bouncy Ball":

Bouncy Ball's Greatest Hits

She either doesn't post any more or goes by a new name, we're not sure.
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Offline jinxmchue

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #20 on: November 01, 2009, 11:03:11 AM »
Wasn't she a school teacher, too?

Offline Toastedturningtidelegs

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #21 on: November 04, 2009, 09:21:39 AM »
Wasn't she a school teacher, too?
She says she was but I think it was found out later she was some kind of half ass secretary at a school in Texas.
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Offline Toastedturningtidelegs

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #22 on: November 04, 2009, 09:26:17 AM »
W.O.W.

So that's TiT...what a goof.  I'm gonna save the rest for tomorrow, this is some quality reading for sure.
I always liked the one where he took credit for writing those songs and got called out right on DU by the original artists record company! :lmao:
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Offline Odin's Hand

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Re: ...and a cop jumped out of the bushes...
« Reply #23 on: November 04, 2009, 09:35:00 AM »
I always liked the one where he took credit for writing those songs and got called out right on DU by the original artists record company! :lmao:

Didn't someone from here contact them with all that information on TiT's chest-beating?
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Offline Chris

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