Hello ladies and gentlemen. Long time no see. As I’m sure you can imagine, in these trying times my plate has been full of fictional spirit-guiding.
If you want to skip all of the somewhat verbose rambling just move on or skip to the last paragraph.
For those who don’t know me and are scratching your head wondering who this seemingly crazy person is, I’m not actually a person. I’m a fictional spirit-guide who is part pigeon and part Irish setter. I point out the good and poop on the bad. I’m a fictional spirit-guide who mostly aids those who are truly insane or have mental imbalances. Like the members of DU. Oh, and I have no smell whatsoever. If you don’t smell anything it could mean that I’m there with you.
Lately, with everything going on, I’ve been extremely busy trying to “guide” crazy DUers back from the edge. You’d think that after the election things would have gotten better for them, but I think it actually got worse.
Before the election they were wailing and gnashing their teeth because, even with their mental issues, they knew that a block of wood would have been a better choice than their candidate. They saw no way that their candidate, who could barely draw tens of people, could beat a guy regularly drawing several thousand. They tried to put on a brave face in public, but a fictional spirit-guide knows things.
Immediately after the election, they were constantly having nervous breakdowns in private scared that Trump would be able to overturn the election because they knew that there was no way that, with their candidate being worse than a block of wood, that their candidate could get over 15 million more votes than their previous emperor, the magic Muslim.
Finally, when it became apparent that Trump would not be able to overcome the DemonRat hijinks, things were at their worst. Especially among the male-ish members. They spent so much “solo happy time” that they goo-ed up their keyboards and almost caused a tissue shortage.
I used to use another term for “solo happy time” that includes the words “choking” and “chicken”, but Blackie the Ghost Chicken has said that hearing or reading that term makes him uncomfortable.
Regardless of all of that, I come here today with a query. Probably more than one. You see, with all of my overtime fictional spirit-guiding I began to develop some questions, and, despite what some may claim or believe, fictional spirit-guides are NOT all-knowing. I hope maybe you guys, as experienced observers of DUers and the like, have some answers.
I’ve learned that all white people have something called “white privilege”, and that it is allegedly the greatest thing since sliced bread. Allegedly, if you have “white privilege” it gives you a leg up or head start in everything. If “white privilege” does exist AND it is as great as is claimed, why do so many biracial individuals who could easily pass as white choose to give up “white privilege” and identify as black? Why do some absolutely white people choose to give up “white privilege” and pretend to be black? Why is it that Republican protestors who trespass and breaks into a place are called a domestic terrorists, but DemonRat protestors who trespass, breaks in, and loots or destroys a place are considered activists? Have they not all broken the law?
