How much is cali worth?
Not much.
DUmmy cali Gage was a waitress at a snooty tea shop for Massholes in Vermont, but was fired when she wallduded herself in the Great Earwig Scandal.
Unemployment led her to drink, which led her to a nasty tumble down a flight of stairs, shattering one of her hind legs.
Surgery to put the limb back together led to a devastating opiate addiction from which she has never recovered.
Her personality is so toxic she has no friends, and no relatives can stand to be in her presence.
If she had any family money it wasn't much, considering her waitress gig.
So she's confined to her home in the Vermont wilderness, living in an oxycontin haze, hating everyone, until that inevitable day when she miscalculates the survivable balance between alcohol and opiate.