The Conservative Cave
Current Events => The DUmpster => Topic started by: BamaMoose on July 11, 2021, 04:28:11 AM
-
One of my guilty pleasures is reading DU threads where they get completely perplexed over some minor home or auto maintenance issue. This thread just cracked me up.
Star Member Ocelot II (94,733 posts)
I really screwed myself this time...
I bought one of those mattresses that comes in a box and you unroll it and let it expand. This one (supposedly) weighs 60 lbs. I was able to get it up the porch steps, into the house, out of the box and up a couple of stairs - but no farther. It's just too heavy and awkward, and now it's just sitting there on the stairs. In order to make room for it I'd already dragged the old mattress downstairs and out to the alley for solid-waste pickup, itself an endeavor that took a lot of time and effort, since there were a number of right angles involved. Now I just have a bed frame with no mattress on it and so no place to sleep except for a couch that's too short, and a heavy rolled-up mattress on the stairs.
So I went to the hardware store to see if I could find a mechanical solution. The hardware guy, who looked to be about fourteen, had never heard of a block and tackle. Seriously. He took me to the bait and tackle section. So I went to Home Despot (yes, I know) and bought a pulley, a hook and some rope. I hope to be able to haul the thing up the stairs, where after that I should be able to drag it to the bed frame.
Nothing is ever simple.
A pulley, a hook and a rope? I would love to see a video of this operation. This is paver block/chicken wire level engineering. And, of course, it goes without saying that this DUmmie hasn't a single friend or relative that would come help her. Amazing how completely alienating yourself from every person around you can somehow have adverse effects.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181530058 (https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181530058)
-
One of my guilty pleasures is reading DU threads where they get completely perplexed over some minor home or auto maintenance issue. This thread just cracked me up.
A pulley, a hook and a rope? I would love to see a video of this operation. This is paver block/chicken wire level engineering. And, of course, it goes without saying that this DUmmie hasn't a single friend or relative that would come help her. Amazing how completely alienating yourself from every person around you can somehow have adverse effects.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181530058 (https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181530058)
Clearly this DUmmie just needs a come-along with one end anchored to the upstairs thermostat or possibly around one of the MJ plants in its indoor grow operation. Easy peasey! :popcorn:
-
I blame Biden.
.
-
Clearly this DUmmie just needs a come-along with one end anchored to the upstairs thermostat or possibly around one of the MJ plants in its indoor grow operation. Easy peasey! :popcorn:
:rofl:
KC
-
... And, of course, it goes without saying that this DUmmie hasn't a single friend or relative that would come help her. Amazing how completely alienating yourself from every person around you can somehow have adverse effects.
...
QFT! This was my first thought, to get a friend or neighbor to help. How badly has she alienating everyone who knows her that she knows that no one within 10 or 20 miles of her would come over to help and have a chat?
-
Star Member Ocelot II (94,733 posts)
3. I don't have anyone right now that I could call
Star Member Ocelot II (94,733 posts)
23. Neighbor to the west is another old lady.
Neighbor to the east is a butthole.
:lmao: We never find out in the thread if the engineering worked or not.
-
This problem could be solved in something less than three minutes if the DUmmy had a friend, or even an acquaintance. Notice how no DUmmies are offering to come to her assistance. Ha.
-
:lmao: We never find out in the thread if the engineering worked or not.
Would you expect anything else from leftists?
Stop talking about whether our engineering worked!!!
-
"Neighbor to the east is a butthole"
= I saw him wearing a MAGA hat and I'd rather fall down the stairs and break a hip than ask him...
DUmmy hate rules over them
-
The primitive is simply an idiot. It purchased a product that you know good and well it could have found out how much the mattress weighed. Now it’s a simple matter of can you lift 60 lbs and carry it up the stairs or not? If you can, great. If you can’t or you’re not sure, then plan ahead.
These are the same dimwits who want to have the greatest say in society who can’t even perform the most simple of tasks or think in advance. And then they’re surprised when anyone worth anything doesn’t care what they have to say.
.
-
Liberals have the strange obsession with blaming inanimate objects rather than people. This has nothing to do with mattress clown, just in general about the media and libs.
If a someone crashes a car, liberals blame the car, not the person. As Rush used to laugh at, headlines often would be "SUV crashes into crowd". Was the vehicle driving itself? Idiotic and lazy language. It is used to force a certain narrative. Absolutely their same crappy arguments about guns.
And on that note, a little Navin R. Johnson:
https://youtu.be/eXRM3lFRwRI
-
Star Member Ocelot II (94,733 posts)
I really screwed myself this time...
I bought one of those mattresses that comes in a box and you unroll it and let it expand. This one (supposedly) weighs 60 lbs. I was able to get it up the porch steps, into the house, out of the box and up a couple of stairs - but no farther. It's just too heavy and awkward, and now it's just sitting there on the stairs. In order to make room for it I'd already dragged the old mattress downstairs and out to the alley for solid-waste pickup, itself an endeavor that took a lot of time and effort, since there were a number of right angles involved. Now I just have a bed frame with no mattress on it and so no place to sleep except for a couch that's too short, and a heavy rolled-up mattress on the stairs.
So I went to the hardware store to see if I could find a mechanical solution. The hardware guy, who looked to be about fourteen, had never heard of a block and tackle. Seriously. He took me to the bait and tackle section. So I went to Home Despot (yes, I know) and bought a pulley, a hook and some rope. I hope to be able to haul the thing up the stairs, where after that I should be able to drag it to the bed frame.
Nothing is ever simple.
DUmmies. Case closed. :mental:
-
Guys...we are looking at this all wrong. The DUmmie in question will probably hurt itself in this operation, lay on the floor for weeks until the neighbors call the police about the even worse smell. Fingers crossed.
-
The primitive is simply an idiot. It purchased a product that you know good and well it could have found out how much the mattress weighed. Now it’s a simple matter of can you lift 60 lbs and carry it up the stairs or not? If you can, great. If you can’t or you’re not sure, then plan ahead.
These are the same dimwits who want to have the greatest say in society who can’t even perform the most simple of tasks or think in advance. And then they’re surprised when anyone worth anything doesn’t care what they have to say.
.
It isn't even the full sixty pounds, she could have just use leverage, pushing one end to up right, then grabbing the bottom and continue tipping it up, using the stairs as a sort of fulcrum. Done right, any time she was lifting the full weight, she would have had the advantage of all of the muscles in her body.
-
It isn't even the full sixty pounds, she could have just use leverage, pushing one end to up right, then grabbing the bottom and continue tipping it up, using the stairs as a sort of fulcrum. Done right, any time she was lifting the full weight, she would have had the advantage of all of the muscles in her body.
Yeah, just go end over end. No need to try to lift the whole 60#.
-
It isn't even the full sixty pounds, she could have just use leverage, pushing one end to up right, then grabbing the bottom and continue tipping it up, using the stairs as a sort of fulcrum. Done right, any time she was lifting the full weight, she would have had the advantage of all of the muscles in her body.
Remember that we're talking about a DUmbass, someone who is part of probably the dumbest group on planet Earth today. A fix as simple as you suggest would be way above the intelligence level of the DUmbass to impliment.
-
LOL!
What a loser AND moron!
-
QFT! This was my first thought, to get a friend or neighbor to help. How badly has she alienating everyone who knows her that she knows that no one within 10 or 20 miles of her would come over to help and have a chat?
Exactly! Got rid of a 20 year old TV this spring that weighed 70 lbs. and was really damn bulky. No chance in hell I could carry it. So naturally, I planned ahead and had a good friend help me. Life ain't that complicated, except to a DUmmy.
-
Exactly! Got rid of a 20 year old TV this spring that weighed 70 lbs. and was really damn bulky. No chance in hell I could carry it. So naturally, I planned ahead and had a good friend help me. Life ain't that complicated, except to a DUmmy.
When the DUmmie ordered the mattress the website would have had dimensions and weight information. Because of handling restrictions by UPS or Fedex or ... the box it came in would have had the weight clearly printed on it in large numbers.
The DUmmie's real problem was a clear lack of clear thought and planning.
-
The DUmmie's real problem was a clear lack of clear thought and planning.
That's a normal state of being for DUmbshits...
-
she should have just ordered a smaller mattress. :thatsright: :-)
-
she should have just ordered a smaller mattress. :thatsright: :-)
She didn't order a twin mattress because she's, ummmm, optimistic ... despite not having anyone willing to help her. :fuelfire: :naughty:
-
she should have just ordered a smaller mattress. :thatsright: :-)
A significant number of DUmmies are admitted hoarders, so I wouldn't be surprised if that figures in to this story.
-
So after a day of performing calculations, she figured out how to move a mattress.
Ocelot II (94,783 posts)
31. I DID IT!!!
Didn't even need the ropes and pulleys; I just got behind the MFer and pushed, one step at a time. Brute strength. Now I shall rest for awhile before finishing the installation, but at least I won't have to battle gravity so hard for that part. For one born during the Truman administration, I think I did good. Old ladies rule!
*pant, gasp*
Thanks, everyone, for your advice.
Good for her, but I was really looking forward to hearing how her rope/pulley arrangement was supposed to work. And of course, no thought to calling a friend, family member or neighbor, because she's distanced herself from everyone considered politically impure.
Ocelot II (94,783 posts)
38. I got the mattress out of the plastic wrap
and put it on the bed frame to expand. It did expand pretty fast, so I flopped down on it and it is so comfortable! I can hardly wait to go to bed tonight, but have to go to Target in a bit and buy a new mattress pad and maybe a couple of pillows (the old ones are almost as flat as the old mattress). I can relate to being trapped on the steps; that occurred to me as well if I'd had to drag it up, but since I ended up pushing from below that wasn't a problem. I did worry about falling backwards down the stairs, knocking myself out and expiring and eventually being eaten by my cat.
Dying and being eaten by the cat. That is probably the funeral plan of at least nine out of ten DUmmies.
-
Is Ocelot II formerly known as Velveteen Ocelot? Just curious.
-
Ocelot II (94,783 posts)
38. I got the mattress out of the plastic wrap
and put it on the bed frame to expand. It did expand pretty fast, so I flopped down on it and it is so comfortable! I can hardly wait to go to bed tonight, but have to go to Target in a bit and buy a new mattress pad and maybe a couple of pillows (the old ones are almost as flat as the old mattress).
save yourself the trouble of going out in the covid filled world and shop from home...https://www.mypillow.com/ (https://www.mypillow.com/) :fuelfire:
-
save yourself the trouble of going out in the covid filled world and shop from home...https://www.mypillow.com/ (https://www.mypillow.com/) :fuelfire:
:lol:
-
save yourself the trouble of going out in the covid filled world and shop from home...https://www.mypillow.com/ (https://www.mypillow.com/) :fuelfire:
:hi5: earned and issued :hi5:
-
save yourself the trouble of going out in the covid filled world and shop from home...https://www.mypillow.com/ (https://www.mypillow.com/) :fuelfire:
:-) I'm sure Ocelot II will be appropriately appreciative of your help with accessories for her bed! :-)
-
So, let me get this straight. It ordered a mattress, knew it had flat pillows and no mattress topper, and didn't order those as well?! Or have them ready to go?
Thought definitely isn't their strong point.
KC
-
This primitive learned how to move the mattress up the stairs by reading this site. She certainly didn’t come up with it on her own and her fellow primitives never offered the suggestion. And typical of the left, not a single word of thanks.
.
-
Why didn't the DUmmie just go down to Home Depot and hire an illegal to do it?
-
So, let me get this straight. It ordered a mattress, knew it had flat pillows and no mattress topper, and didn't order those as well?! Or have them ready to go?
Thought definitely isn't their strong point.
KC
Had to wait for the loan approval
-
Had to wait for the loan approval
Or the next month's extended UE bennies check.
-
One of my guilty pleasures is reading DU threads where they get completely perplexed over some minor home or auto maintenance issue. This thread just cracked me up.
A pulley, a hook and a rope? I would love to see a video of this operation. This is paver block/chicken wire level engineering. And, of course, it goes without saying that this DUmmie hasn't a single friend or relative that would come help her. Amazing how completely alienating yourself from every person around you can somehow have adverse effects.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181530058 (https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181530058)
To pile onto this thread, a semi-classic DUmmy failure on making a grilled cheese sandwich:
Demo_Chris (4,949 posts)
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1018&pid=551299
Wife and Daughter are furious. I tried to cook a grilled cheese sandwich...
Here's what happened. I saw on a youtube video that you make a grilled cheese by putting cheese between bread and cooking it in a pan. I decided I could do that pretty easy and surprise everyone by showing off my cooking prowess. So I got out a stainless steel pan and put my bread and cheese in there. So far so good.
But the cheese wasn't melting, while the bread started burning around the edges. So I turned it over and smooshed it down but the bread kept burning. I figured maybe I just need oil so I dump some canola in there. But then the ****ing plastic spatula starts to melt on me. By now the kitchen is full of smoke and the last half inch of the spatula is melted off. WHO IN THE HELL MAKES SPATULAS OUT OF MELTABLE STUFF?! That's freaking silly! Anyway....
I decided that sandwich was pretty much garbage, with the blackened bread and the plastic on it and all. Plus the pan was still smoking and it smelled pretty toxic, so I set that out back and got a Teflon pan. This time I though ahead and instead of a plastic spatula I grabbed a metal one. I put plenty of the canola oil in the pan and tossed in my bread. But that wasn't working well either because the bread just got all soggy in the oil and despite being Teflon it STILL stuck to the stupid pan.
I was just scraping it out when my daughter came in all freaking out wanting to know what in the hell I was doing. Then my wife showed up. I explained to them about the defective plastic spatula but for whatever reason they seem to somehow think all this was my fault. Then my wife spots the stainless pan out back, and it does look kinda bad with the plastic melted in there, but even so it hardly justifies her reaction.
Anyway, my daughter made me two sandwiches and they were good.
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1018&pid=551299
https://conservativecave.com/cave/index.php?topic=93920.0
-
:rotf: It takes a special kind of moron to think everything is cooked with the burner or oven on high! :rotf: And an even more special one not to realize that plastic spatulas are designed to be used with non-stick pans so that the spatula doesn't scratch the non-stick coating. :rotf: It takes a DU-Moron!
Using butter and sour dough bread is even tastier! BTDT.
-
That grilled cheese story reminds of Dr. Nick from The Simpsons:
"'Inflammable' means 'flammable'? What a country!"
-
I saw on a youtube video that you make a grilled cheese by putting cheese between bread and cooking it in a pan.
Damn, I just learned something. Made getting up and out of bed this morning worth the effort...
-
I saw in a YouTube video that you make coffee by grinding the beans and pouring hot water over them.
-
I saw in a YouTube video that you make coffee by grinding the beans and pouring hot water over them.
Cue stories of DUmbasses running pinto beans thru a coffee grinder - or even more fun, a blender because; hell, they look about the same, right - in ...5 ...4 ...3
-
That grilled cheese story reminds of Dr. Nick from The Simpsons:
"'Inflammable' means 'flammable'? What a country!"
:rotf: :rotf: :rotf:
In honor of Dr. Nick Riviera:
https://youtu.be/Q8mD2hsxrhQ