Author Topic: poll: should the primitives fear franksolich? (Read 1208 times)

franksolich · « **on:** June 19, 2011, 11:27:36 AM »

This poll is being undertaken for purely selfish reasons, but it's an issue that's bothered me for a very long time.

franksolich is a nice guy, one of the nicest guys one can hope to meet. franksolich lives w-a-a-a-y out in the unpeopled Sandhills of Nebraska, miles and miles away from any primitive, and lately franksolich hasn't been up to visiting blue states and blue cities. franksolich is just an Average Joe in the intelligence department, enough wits to get by in life, but not especially sharp. franksolich, even though a male in his prime and vigor, being deaf, is actually more vulnerable to physical violence than all the primitives on Skins's island excepting the brain-dead ones.

However.

However.

However.

Because of his involvement in Scamdy several years ago, and because of the drug-stimulated psychoses of the EMataHari primitive, Doug's stupid ex-wife, franksolich gained a wide and well-documented reputation among the primitives of Skins's island for being a "stalker." I dunno how the other members of Scamdy--of which there were many, and from both sides--escaped such onus, but there you have it; there it is.

The record clearly and loudly shows--although the primitives don't want to see it--that both Scamdy and franksolich scrupulously respected boundaries (while the primitives didn't; but even though the primitives cheated, decent and civilized people won, in the end), limiting their activities to merely watching the primitives on Skins's island, nothing more than that.

Now something new's arisen, and being a nice guy, franksolich doesn't want to scare the excresence out of a little old lady, the grasswire primitive and her pie-and-jam store. This has already happened one time recently, involving Mrs. Alfred Packer, the hippywife primitive, who's apparently now too frightened to hang around with the cooking-and-baking primitives, thus depriving the primitives of homey illumination, and decent and civilized people of amusement.

franksolich does not wish, in the slightest way, to give the grasswire primitive even a faint scrap of a notion that franksolich is going to get on an airplane and fly 1500 miles away to stalk her.

But it just might be happening, this paranoia in the grasswire primitive; it most certainly happened in the case of the Packer clan down in northeastern Oklahoma. And if the grasswire primitive quits hanging around on Skins's island, the DUmpster's going to be deprived of one of its main stars.

Damn.

So, the question: do any of the primitives, really, have any reasonable reason to be afraid of franksollich?

JohnnyReb · « **Reply #1 on:** June 19, 2011, 11:34:00 AM »

I have a hangnail...will franksolich cause me to die? Enquiring minds want to know.

GOBUCKS · « **Reply #2 on:** June 19, 2011, 11:51:46 AM »

I think the chance of scaring away Judy grasswire is very slim. First, she's really DUmb, significantly DUmber than the average DUmbass. The ones who fear they'll look out their window and see a tall, slim, long-haired, nice guy with no ears smiling and waving are generally much more aware than DUmmy grasswire. On top of being dull-witted, she really doesn't have much at risk, like, say DUmmy Raven, who would be hard pressed to explain her DUmp rants to her re-elected colleagues up there in Rindge. So the ParGen hasn't much leverage with grasswire.

Skul · « **Reply #3 on:** June 19, 2011, 12:03:29 PM »

The correct reply is not even on the list.

franksolich · « **Reply #4 on:** June 19, 2011, 12:48:34 PM »

Quote from: Skul on June 19, 2011, 12:03:29 PM

The correct reply is not even on the list.

My bitch about this, sir, is as moderator of the DUmpster and on conservativecave, it's my responsibility to attract traffic, to help make both the DUmpster specifically and conservativecave generally flourish and prosper.

I take my job seriously. Really, I do. It's very important that franksolich does a good job, otherwise he's out on his ass, on the street.

And of course the best way to do that--insofar as the DUmpster is concerned--is by recruiting talent from Skins's island; to bring really good stuff here for illumination and amusement.

But when the talent, both current and potential, gets afraid to show off their stuff because they're scared of franksolich, the quality of the DUmpster declines.

The last thing franksolich wants to do is discourage the primitives from romping and playing on Skins's island, being their own real natural uninhibited selves.

And given my fondness and respect for my fellow alum Skins, I surely don't want him to not do good, too.

Somehow, however, the message doesn't seem to be penetrating the bone-solid heads of the primitives, and so I feel compelled to assure the primitives once again: franksolich in real life is not going to come knocking on their doors.

franksolich · « **Reply #5 on:** June 19, 2011, 12:54:29 PM »

Quote from: GOBUCKS on June 19, 2011, 11:51:46 AM

So the ParGen hasn't much leverage with grasswire.

For those who don't know, the "ParGen" is the primitive paranoia-generator, inspired by GOBUCKS and built by franksolich.

dutch508 · « **Reply #6 on:** June 19, 2011, 01:04:39 PM »

They should fear dutch508.

franksolich · « **Reply #7 on:** June 19, 2011, 01:06:14 PM »

Quote from: dutch508 on June 19, 2011, 01:04:39 PM

They should fear dutch508.

Agreed; you get around more than I do, and am in real life right in the midst of a whole lot of primitives.

WinOne4TheGipper · « **Reply #8 on:** June 19, 2011, 01:10:38 PM »

You're a dangerous man, frank.

longview · « **Reply #9 on:** June 19, 2011, 01:41:11 PM »

I don't understand the obsession of the DUmpster by the primitives or the expressed concerns about franksolich bringing posts to it.

What do they care? If they are expressing firmly held opinions, let the quotes ride as is. Why get in a dither about someone they have never and will never meet disagreeing with it?

franksolich · « **Reply #10 on:** June 19, 2011, 01:47:46 PM »

Quote from: longview on June 19, 2011, 01:41:11 PM

I don't understand the obsession of the DUmpster by the primitives or the expressed concerns about franksolich bringing posts to it.

What do they care? If they are expressing firmly held opinions, let the quotes ride as is. Why get in a dither about someone they have never and will never meet disagreeing with it?

Always my question, too, madam.

We'd of course have no objections, no objections at all, if we were quoted on Skins's island, and the primitives commented upon us.

In fact, for the sake of open and honest debate, we'd encourage exactly that.

franksolich · « **Reply #11 on:** June 19, 2011, 01:56:34 PM »

Quote from: longview on June 19, 2011, 01:41:11 PM

By the way, madam, how far away into Wyoming are you from dutch508's home after November?

Don't give your location on a public message-board, just give the distance.

For your reference, our esteemed colleague dutch508 is retiring from the U.S. Army and returning to his old home up here on the roof of Nebraska (although on the western slope of the Sandhills of Nebraska, the other side from franksolich); his old home was the epicenter of the greatest earthquake ever to strike Nebraska, although because dutch508 was only a year-old infant at the time, he has no memories of it--that should give you ample clue as to where he'll be at, without the primitives knowing.

I'm thinking about arranging a conservativecave get-together, collecting all those in the area.

dutch508 · « **Reply #12 on:** June 19, 2011, 02:34:30 PM »

Good idea, Frank.
I will open my home for the occasion.

Once I get there, that is.

Between frank's cooking and mine, we'll have to go on diets after.

franksolich · « **Reply #13 on:** June 19, 2011, 02:44:35 PM »

Quote from: dutch508 on June 19, 2011, 02:34:30 PM

Good idea, Frank.
I will open my home for the occasion.

Once I get there, that is.

Between frank's cooking and mine, we'll have to go on diets after.

Here's my thoughts about the matter.

You've already gotten myself and a friendly lurker west of me, probably headed that direction some time, as the horse-trailer business is booming. The get-together could be in late winter or early spring or mid-spring, just before the hilarity of watching the Democrats shatter apart begins.

Your place for two reasons: first, you've got children, and parents who might need something from you, so best any disruption be minimal for you. The rest of us, well, we don't have so many responsibilities, and can be disrupted.

The other is that your side of the Sandhills was settled during the 1870s, and hence is more civilized than my side, which didn't see people until about a generation later. You've got more "things" there on your side, as compared with this side. The difference between your side of the Sandhills and my side is the same difference as between rural Connecticut and rural Yukon.

longview is in Wyoming somewhere, but she's lived on your side of the Sandhills before, and it's possible the distance wouldn't be burdensome for her.

There are members of freerepublic up here on the roof of Nebraska, and I'll scout around for them, and get them to join conservativecave, so that we'll all know each other before such a get-together.

There may actually be members of conservativecave within reasonable distance, but as I don't snoop around, I don't know who they might be.

So think about, sir.

dutch508 · « **Reply #14 on:** June 19, 2011, 03:09:06 PM »

No need to think about it. I love the idea.

longview · « **Reply #15 on:** June 19, 2011, 05:08:28 PM »

I'm an easy six hours from there. I have some people on both sides of him that I'd love to visit, too. Keep me posted.

franksolich · « **Reply #16 on:** June 19, 2011, 05:25:02 PM »

Quote from: longview on June 19, 2011, 05:08:28 PM

I'm an easy six hours from there. I have some people on both sides of him that I'd love to visit, too. Keep me posted.

Yeah, we could start firming up plans in early winter; I'll spend the summer and autumn looking around for other decent and civilized people who might be interested.

Just so it's held before the presidential campaign starts in earnest, because I've got to be right here, observing the primitives as they temper-tantrum.

I only now realized it, madam, that you've got a shorter distance to dutch508's town than I do......and we're in the same state.

miskie · « **Reply #17 on:** June 19, 2011, 09:22:14 PM »

I'd have to say no - that it's primitive paranoia. Franksolich strikes me as falling neatly under the heading of 'mostly harmless'

franksolich · « **Reply #18 on:** June 19, 2011, 09:32:16 PM »

Quote from: miskie on June 19, 2011, 09:22:14 PM

I'd have to say no - that it's primitive paranoia. Franksolich strikes me as falling neatly under the heading of 'mostly harmless'

Thank you, sir.

I was hoping someone would say that.

USA4ME · « **Reply #19 on:** June 19, 2011, 09:34:28 PM »

The answers is, without a doubt, YES! A little over 5 years ago, frank killed Andy Stephenson by withholding a Hamilton. With inflation, just think what he could do with a Jackson or, heaven forbid, a Grant or a Franklin.

The primitives better live in fear of what might happen, and that's all I'll say about the matter.

.