Author Topic: State Regrets Hiring Lionel Hutz To Prosecute Kyle Rittenhouse  (Read 338 times)

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Offline Ralph Wiggum

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State Regrets Hiring Lionel Hutz To Prosecute Kyle Rittenhouse
« on: November 10, 2021, 12:45:25 PM »


KENOSHA, WI—As the prosecution rests its case in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial, state officials expressed regret over hiring lawyer Lionel Hutz to lead the prosecution.

"We were told he was one of the best," said the mayor of Kenosha, Bob Kenosha. "Some guy down at Moe's Tavern told us he was the man for the job. I'm feeling pretty disappointed right now."

According to sources, Hutz brought in video evidence of Rittenhouse's innocence and coached his witnesses to testify that they pointed a gun at the defendant first.

"Apparently, Lionel Hutz thought he was on the defense team," said Mayor Kenosha. "We tried to tell him he was actually the prosecutor but it was too late. Then he tried to stop everything by saying 'objection' over and over and then tried to distract the jury by removing his pants."

In the end, Hutz moved for a "bad court thingy"—which apparently meant a mistrial—but was denied by the judge.

RIP Phil Hartman (the voice of Lionel Hutz) in some must Bee news
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Offline Muddling 2

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Re: State Regrets Hiring Lionel Hutz To Prosecute Kyle Rittenhouse
« Reply #1 on: November 11, 2021, 05:11:46 AM »


KENOSHA, WI—As the prosecution rests its case in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial, state officials expressed regret over hiring lawyer Lionel Hutz to lead the prosecution.

"We were told he was one of the best," said the mayor of Kenosha, Bob Kenosha. "Some guy down at Moe's Tavern told us he was the man for the job. I'm feeling pretty disappointed right now."

According to sources, Hutz brought in video evidence of Rittenhouse's innocence and coached his witnesses to testify that they pointed a gun at the defendant first.

"Apparently, Lionel Hutz thought he was on the defense team," said Mayor Kenosha. "We tried to tell him he was actually the prosecutor but it was too late. Then he tried to stop everything by saying 'objection' over and over and then tried to distract the jury by removing his pants."

In the end, Hutz moved for a "bad court thingy"—which apparently meant a mistrial—but was denied by the judge.

RIP Phil Hartman (the voice of Lionel Hutz) in some must Bee news

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