official nomination thread for Top DUmmies of 2010

[BattleHymn]

I nominate Kentuck.  His posts are so utterly boring, I sometimes think he is channeling the ghost of Robert "Sheets" Byrd. He is also incredibly stupid, even within the context of the DUmp.  His stupidity makes him stand out in much the same way one would expect an unusually large and nutty turd cruising by in a sewer, amidst all the other floatsam, would stand out.


No way does he deserve top honors in any category, but I figure he at least deserves a mention.  I have attached my supporting evidence:



The Bush taxcuts did great harm to our country

Bluegrass primitive spins mandate

Pa Kettle does the math

Kentuck is a socialist

Tying Pedro Picasso in the "stupidest primitive" poll

Bluegrass primitive to relieve himself

[formerlurker]

I rarely pay notice to their names (except for Pam, who I believe deserves a DU lifetime achievement award), but if anyone can recall the username of the misfit who schooled a tea party member with her iPhone, then I would like to nominate that person.    Much thanks.

[BattleHymn]

I rarely pay notice to their names (except for Pam, who I believe deserves a DU lifetime achievement award), but if anyone can recall the username of the misfit who schooled a tea party member with her iPhone, then I would like to nominate that person.    Much thanks.

I think you are talking about Xultar:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,50505.msg560509.html#msg560509

[formerlurker]

I think you are talking about Xultar:

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,50505.msg560509.html#msg560509

Yep -- that is her!!  Thanks!

[franksolich]

I'd like to further nominate the cross-eyed Iowa primitive, the "HawkeyeX" primitive.

The cross-eyed Iowa primitive isn't an especially loud or bombastic sitter-at-the-campfire like Lord Horatio Nelson,the sparkling husband primitive, but he's around quite a bit and says and does a whole lot of really stupid things.  

One could even insist the big guy's the archetypical primitive.

The cross-eyed Iowa primitive, who lives in Denver, tries to come across as a bad one--after all, he was in prison (non-violent crime; bad checks or something)--always threatening to "take down" websites habituated by decent and civilized people with his computer prowress.

The cross-eyed Iowa primitive's somewhat younger than usual for primitives, being only circa 40 years old, but he's got some impressive poundage on him.

The cross-eyed Iowa primitive's on the disability gravy-train, but admits to making money on the side, which probably isn't reported to the proper authorities.

The cross-eyed Iowa primitive is always the first to step forward to donate loads and loads of money to primitive candidates and primitive causes.....or more properly, claims that he does.

The cross-eyed Iowa primitive is notoriously insensitive to the needs of his comrade primitives--I dunno what gross insensitivities he did this past year, but in 2009 for example, he went to play around in Las Vegas (on his parents'-in-law dime) but didn't stop in to see the gigantic primitive, who was having a miserable Thanksgiving what with an overstuffed commode overflowing and flooding the apartment.  And in 2008, the cross-eyed Iowa primitive had held a primitive get-together in Denver but didn't invite the bobbling primitive, who lives there.

Primitives in need, and the cross-eyed Iowa primitive not responding to the call.

The cross-eyed Iowa primitive's just a big tub of lard and hot air.....the archetypical primitive.

[franksolich]

Yep -- that is her!!  Thanks!

Don't forget, madam, that the Xultar primitive was the one who wrote that rather, uh, impressive screed "Why I hate, hate, hate, Republicans" just recently.  Based upon that alone, I nominated the drunken old sot (at our old home), too.

[franksolich]

I also nominate the usual trash, a couple of the only four drek primitives:

--the Die alte Sau, the "Proud2bLibKansan" primitive
--the mike_c primitive

There's two other drek primitives, the skumbag primitive ("IanDavid") and the unappellated eohippus ("Horse With no Name"), but they weren't especially interesting primitives this past year.

The first two were, though.

For the Willie award, to make up for last year, of course the Bostonian Drunkard.

[franksolich]

About every third or fourth day, until December 4, I'll post the then-current nominees, collected from both sites.

nominees for TOP PRIMITIVES:

Alan Grayson

AnArmyVeteran

Arctic Dave

Banthegop

bobbolink, who's homeless

BOG group--FrenchieCat, babylonsister, Cha, ProSense, grantcart, HiFructosePronSyrup, NJmaverick, HughMoran, jefferson_dem, Peacetrain, treestar, RoyGBiv, sandnsea, berni_mccoy, SoxFan, Nicholas D Wolfwood, and others.

CaliforniaPeggy, the poetess CalPig primitive

EFerrari, Doug’s stupid ex-wife

Hawkeye-X, the cross-eyed Iowa primitive

HighFructosePronSyrup

IanDavid, the skumbag primitive

JudiLynn, a prominent Yugoista

kentuck, the bluegrass primitive

malaise, the malarial primitive

mike_c, the mike_c primitive

Mineral Man, the anti-osteopathic primitive

MrScorpio, the MrDorkio primitive

nadinbrzezinski, the Zbigniew primitive

PC Intern, allegedly a dentist but probably a medical office cleaning woman

Taverner

The Magistrate

ThomWV, the mountain man primitive

undergroundpanther, the subway cat

w8liftinglady

Xultar, the drunken old sot

nominees for the WILLIE, for bettering the reputation of Skins's island:

bobbolink, who's homeless

Demtenjeep, formerly the greenbriar primitive, TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009

Proud2bLibKansan, the Die alte Sau, the dysmenopausal Kansas school teacher

Spooked911

WilliamPitt, the Bostonian Drunkard

nominees for the ANNIE, likely to be the biggest loser in life:

Proud2bLibKansan, the Die alte Sau, the dysmenopausal Kansas school teacher

Redstone, Chief S itting Bull, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive

Stinky the Clown, the sparkling husband primitive, Admiral Lord Horatio Nelson

xultar, the drunken old sot

[Revolution]

The Willie

The CalPig Primitive
Bobbolink
AlanGrayson

The Annie

Demtenjeep/Greenbriar
Stinky the Clown
WillPitt
marmar

Top Primitives

bobbolink
CaliforniaPeggy
EFerrari
Kentuck
demtenjeep
Proud2bLibKansan

I'll have more after a while. I just wanted to get the most prominent nominations in as soon as I could.

[franksolich]

The Annie

Demtenjeep/Greenbriar

Top Primitives

demtenjeep

Probably, though, to get greenbriar to win, though, sir, you're probably going to have to build up a case for her (not so much your other selections, though); she was hot in 2009, but she hasn't been especially hot this year, 2010.  She made some really big splashes in 2009, but this year, barely some ripples.

This isn't to denigrate your nominations of her, which have been duly noted for iinclusion in the ballot, of course, but I'm just tipping you off that if you want her to win, you'd probably better build up a case, especially for the top primitives of 2010.

This thread runs through December 4, so you got plenty of time.

Your nomination of her for the "Annie," on the other hand, for the biggest loser to date on Skins's island (since 2001) probably needs no extra boosting, though; I have no doubt many here consider her a pretty big loser.

[franksolich]

I still have more nominations in mind--franksolich most certainly hasn't forgotten the large-proboscised primitive Oscar Wilde, the "Cyrano" primitive--but as the competition for the "Annie" seems more intense than I had anticipated, I better hurry up and defend my nomination for the biggest loser on Skins's island, Redstone.

This is from my election-night message to Chief S itting Bull; the whole thread's at

http://www.conservativecave.com/index.php/topic,50652.0.html

and it's pretty entertaining, but I'm just quoting some fragments of mine from it.

Oh now, as you know, sir, I find Chief S itting Bull a rather fascinating object of study.

Perhaps you didn't know this, but the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive is dealing with an unfortunate degenerative neuro-muscular condition, which of course goes without saying that, yes, yes, yes, that's very bad, that's terrible.

But at the same time, for some reason, Chief S itting Bull thinks he can "deal with" the problem by building and solidifying his rage and anger and resentment and Hate against all that is good and decent; by hitting people and things, by reckless tearing-down and destruction.

And so franksolich remains inquisitively curious, how that's going to work out for the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive, in ameliorating his unfortunate situation.

I've been all over Skins's island the past four days, and haven't seen the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive at all; one wonders what's up with that, given that Redstone has an opinion about everything, and never's been afraid to say it.  And there's been plenty on Skins's island on which Chief S itting Bull could opine.

One wonders if something happened; perhaps the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive was putting gasoline into his car at the neighborhood convenience store, the self-service pumps, and because the fuel was slow in flowing, he leaned over, lighted cigarette dangling from his lips, to look inside the aperture.

Alas! poor S itting Bull! alas!

As many know, the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive, who now lives in eastern Connecticut, was born and raised in New Hampshire, coming from a long line of earnest, hardworking, modest Gaels, the salt of the earth, who spent generations working in the textile mills there.

That was too meant to be Redstone's destiny, but he arrogantly balked at the notion.  No way was he going to be a manual laborer; he was too good to get dirt and callous on his hands.  Besides, he had "talent"--in music, in song-writing, in song-singing, in the jewelry business, in the know-it-all business, in the hospitality business, in the beating-people-up business.

Chief S itting Bull wasn't going to work in an old textile mill; he was going to be a star.

Well, well.....

The bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive is now, of course 60 years old (give or take one year either way), and as it turns out, never did anything worthwhile with his life.  Sure, during the late 1960s, he teamed up with the lying tits primitive, the now-mausoleumed "TomInTib" primitive, and they hitch-hiked around the Great American Southwest (including a stayover at the Charles Manson "ranch")....but that's a scant accomplishment.

Alas! poor S itting Bull! alas!

Now, if circa 1967 or 1968 or 1969, Redstone had gone to work at the textile factory, well, here it is, a little more than forty years later--and he would be about ready to retire with a five-figure pension and a six- or seven-figure retirement account.  The Life of Riley, he could be looking forward to.

But no.....

Actually, besides his ill-fated gloating and bloating election night 2008, pronouncing the Republican party dead forever, and besides his, uh, rather unusual way of dealing with his affliction, Chief S itting Bull appeals to me for a third reason.

I know people like Redstone in real life; not many, but a few.

(And coincidentally, they're all "socially conscious" Dems.)

Myself having been born deaf, I have no idea what a voice really sounds like, but in my case, this voice is as flat and wide and slow as the Platte River of Nebraska.

No stumbling, no stuttering, no stalling, just really slow.

(Actually, foreigners, those for whom English is a second language, and those who are trying to learn English, like to hear me, because I'm allegedly "understandable" to them--but of course 99% of my communicative contacts are with those from this time and place.)

I look utterly normal, utterly average.

And so it can be disconcerting for a person seeing me the first time, when I start to speak.

All my life, ever since I was about 2' tall, I've noticed that while this attribute bothers decent and civilized people only little, or not at all, it really really really "gets to" a certain species of people.

The hot-tempered, the chipped-on-the-shouldered, and "socially conscious" Dems.

And of course the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive is (a), (b), and (c) above; all of them.

I've always said it's a good thing Redstone and I have never met in real life, because it wouldn't turn out well.  I already know what's going to happen, as I've seen this reaction in his kind of person.

The eyes crossing to inside of the head, smoke puffing out of the ears, mouth paralyzed wide-open, face turning dark red, hands becoming claw-like, nostrils flaring, and blood vessels inside the skull popping and bursting, causing an apoplexic fit.

I'm a nice guy; I don't want Chief S itting Bull to suffer an apoplexic fit.

I guarantee you that would be Redstone's reaction to franksolich.

Past, and numerous, experience doesn't lie.

Sunday bump, but this is the last time I'm bumping this thread, as it's obvious Chief S itting Bull is cowering away from Skilns's island, afraid to go there in case someone asks him about his infamous prediction of early November 2008.

Either that, or the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive, who has really poor "impulse control," is in jail.

First, his long-suffering battered wife, and next, a cop.

My, my.

Redstone really needs to learn some manners, to help him more gracefully accept his humble status in life.

Burned in the memory is one from December 2007, after the U.S. Senate had approved the nomination of George Bush's choice for attorney general.  Everybody out here in the wider real world had known that the choice would be approved since the preceding September--and hence it was no surprise to anybody but the primitives, who got all upset and bent out of shape because of it.

The primitives have a bad habit of being behind on what's going on.

Towards suppertime the day of the vote, Chief S itting Bull and Pedro Picasso, the "Atman" primitive, showed up together, finding the primitives substantially bawl-babying and demoralized.  They then both lit the same campfire, ordering my fellow alum Skins to show up on Skins's island, so as to hearten the primitives.

Neither of them begged or requested--both of them "demanded."

A peasant and a pauper summoning the king?

Skins didn't show up, and so the "demands" of the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive and Pedro Picasso got more and more angry, more and more hysterical.  Both even started slandering, libeling, distorting, muddying, smearing, the good name of my fellow alum.

It was disgraceful watching that, a peasant and a pauper spitting at the king.

As it turned out, my fellow alum was that same evening babysitting his two young sons at home, not aware that two lowly pissants had commanded him to appear.  But when Skins showed up at the corporate offices of Skins's island the next morning, he saw the campfire, and responded.

My fellow alum has a problem; he apologizes for things when it's better to just tell the primitives to fudge off.

Redstone and Pedro Picasso were on Skins's island at the time, but neither of them came around to this campfire to humbly thank Skins for showing up....in fact, for about the next two months, the arrogant asses ignored every single campfire at which my fellow alum showed up, shunning him.

It blows the mind, that Chief S itting Bull and Pedro Picasso dared think that they were in a position to "demand" something of Skins, when in fact neither of them is good enough, bright enough, ethical enough, worthy enough, to as much as kiss the shoelaces on my fellow alum's shoes.

franksolich can forgive much, but franksolich finds it very difficult to forgive arrogant presumption.

Okay, this is the last time I'm bumping this, because I'm going to be busy the next four days, and besides, it's now painfully apparent that Chief S itting Bull is in some sort of trouble that keeps him away from Skins's island; in jail, or a mental ward, or a gutter, or something.....or too cowardly to show his mug on Skins's island.

Modified to add: as we all of course know now, Chief S itting Bull absent because he was in the hospital, all busted up from a fight or something.

[notaDUmmie]

Hannah Bell and madfloridian for their never ending ability to turn every education thread (even the ones they don't start) into a "unions and teachers good, charters and parents bad"

w8liftinglady for her endless attempts to get the DUmmies to write her LTTE for her

[Chris_]

Here are my nominees so far.  I will not nominate Stinky, because that's what he wants.  **** you, Stinky.

DainBramaged
AnArmyVeteran
Alan Grayson
Taverner
EFerarri

I would like to suggest another category, the least DU-like, the one I see poking the hive with a stick the most often.  The departed OMC was probably most likely person to hold this title but since he's not there, I will have to nominate Dreamer Tatum.  While still a DUmmy, he/she/it shows up in all the kooky threads with a nice wet blanket to smother the OP with. 

[whiffleball]

For top DUmmies, I'm going to step out of the norm and nominate a group:

The BOG (Barack Obama Group).

These individuals are the "100% Dear Leader can do no wrong" group who spent the year so upset that all the other primitives didn't worship Dear Leader the way they worshipped Dear Leader, they went to their own sub-forum within a group, asked Skin's to re-write the group rules to accommodate their obsession, and then spent their time in there talking about how wonderful their master is, plotting on how to defend their master, and how to confront those who weren't 100% worshippers like them.  As of recent, per a report at another lib website, the BOG's formed their own private website where they could go and speak in secret about their exaulted leader and, one would guess, on how to purify Skin's island of those who aren't as they.

But make no mistake; just because they received their own sanctuary doesn't mean they spent their time there only.  They were often found in GDP (and some GD) posting only 100% worship pieces about Dear Leader, K&Ring each others threads, and attacking in packs anyone who wasn't as fully committed to obedience of Dear Leader as they should be.

The members of this groups include, but is not limited to, FrenchieCat, babylonsister, Cha, ProSense, grantcart, HiFructosePronSyrup, NJmaverick, HughMoran, jefferson_dem, Peacetrain, treestar, RoyGBiv, sandnsea, berni_mccoy, SoxFan, Nicholas D Wolfwood, and others.  A few have been banned over the last 2 or 3 weeks, but the BOG still exists.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=388

.

I concur.  There's no one dummie that truly stands out this year. 

[Chris_]

I concur.  There's no one dummie that truly stands out this year. 

That darn recession is getting to everybody.

[Ballygrl]

I would like to suggest another category, the least DU-like, the one I see poking the hive with a stick the most often.

If we're going to have a category like that then I would have to nominate someone named Tatum? I think that's the right name, Tatum is least DU-like because many times they've shown common sense amongst the insanity.

[Chris_]

Dreamer Tatum... that's who I nominated.

[franksolich]

Uh oh.

The same thing happened last year, resulting in the Willie, the award for the primitive who the past years has done the most for the good name and reputation of Skins's island.

The Willie came up after the nominations had already gotten underway.

This year the new award's the Annie, the award for the primitive most likely to succeed on Skins's island, but of course a loser in the real world.

And now we got the Tangerine, the award for the primitive least likely to succeed on Skins's island.

I'm not sure what to do about this; I'll discuss it with our esteemed colleague Mr. Wiggum when he gets back, as there might be problems.

But in the meantime, everyone and anyone feel free to nominate for the Tangerine.

[franksolich]

Of course, everyone's aware that in naming a winner of the Tangerine, that particular primitive's expulsion from Skins's island is a done deal.

[BlueStateSaint]

Of course, everyone's aware that in naming a winner of the Tangerine, that particular primitive's expulsion from Skins's island is a done deal.

Stinky the Clown!

And my nomination for the Annie is the one primitve who continually pulls its' own pet group into every thread . . . Bobbolink.

[Ballygrl]

Dreamer Tatum... that's who I nominated.

Oooops, just realized you mentioned Dreamer Tatum, good choice.

[Revolution]

Your nomination of her for the "Annie," on the other hand, for the biggest loser to date on Skins's island (since 2001) probably needs no extra boosting, though; I have no doubt many here consider her a pretty big loser.

Well, nomination for "Top of '1o" I based purely on loserdom. Nothing more. I've seen too much from her that screams "loser" from every pore in her miserable body. The only reason I read her posts is because while vile, this one is a fascinating primitive.


And yes. I didn't figure a nomination for the Annie needed any explanation at all. I figured she'd be grandfathered in for this one. 

[franksolich]

Today I'm nominating a primitive who needs no introduction, Oscar Wilde, the large-proboscised primitive, the "Cyrano" primitive.

The guy lives down in Florida, and he despises Florida and the good decent people of Florida.

One wonders why the Hell Oscar Wilde doesn't go back up to New York City, where he was born and raised, if he finds Florida and the good decent people of Florida not to his liking.

[franksolich]

Also today I'm nominating Lamond, Mr. Dorkio, the "MrScorpio" primitive, the authenticator of "blackness" on Skins's island.

It's really unfortunate that my fellow alum Skins mausoleumed the HamdenRice primitive, the only authentic black man on Skins's island; Mr. Dorkio is a travesty as both a black man and a man, period.

[franksolich]

For the Willie, the award given the primitive who's done the most to better the name and reputation of Skins's island any time or all time since January 2001, when my fellow alum first hoisted the flag on the island, claiming it for the malcontents, the fringes, the lunatics of the Democrat party: the Bostonian Drunkard.

For the Annie, the award given the primitive "most likely to succeed on Skins's island, most likely to be a loser in real life"--well, I already nominated Chief S itting Bull, and the bird-smacking stoned red-faced primitive is who I'm voting for, myself, but surely the unappellated eohippus, the High Priestess of Moloch to the primitives, the "Horse With no Name" primitive, also seems worthy of consideration.