Dealing with cops for DUmmies

[ChuckJ]

It seems that DUmmies have an animosity or fear of the cops. They apparently figure that Chris Rock’s advice does not apply to them since they are not black so I thought I’d offer up some suggestions to them.

DO NOT DO THIS…
A guy speeding over a bridge, late for work, gets stopped by a cop sitting in a car at the end of a bridge operating radar.
After being stopped the cop asks the man what his profession is and he replied “A professional asshole stretcher.”
The cop, being curious, asks “Exactly what does a professional asshole stretcher do?”
The driver explains that he starts with a small asshole and continues to stretch it until its six feet tall.
The cop asks the driver “What do you do with a six foot asshole.”
The driver responds “Apparently give him a badge and a radar gun and put him at the end of a bridge.”


Instead do something similar to this…
This technique has thus far kept me from getting beat, tazed, or shot by law officers.
This particular incident was for running a stop sign. I still don’t think I ran the stop sign, but my wife said I ran the stop sign (and she’s the keeper of “the stuff”) and the cop said I ran the stop sign (and he’s the keeper of the badge and gun) so I did NOT argue.
As soon as I saw the blue flashing lights I found a safe spot to pull onto the shoulder. Even though this wasn’t a busy road I made sure that I had a place so the officer could safely approach my vehicle without fear of traffic.
By the time I came to a complete stop I had both windows rolled completely down, the vehicle turned-off, the radio turned off, and both of my hands on the steering wheel with my driver’s license in between my thumb and finger.
The conversation was as follows…
Officer: Good afternoon. Could I see your license please?
Me: Yes sir (hand him my license).
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: No sir.
Officer: You didn’t come to a complete stop at the stop sign back there.
Me: Sorry about that. My wife accused me of the same thing.
Officer: Do you have insurance?
Me; Yes sir, but the card is in the glove compartment. Would you like me to get it?
Officer: No. That’s okay. Just sit here, and I’ll be right back.
Me: Thank you.
I relax as the officer runs my license. When I see him returning I again place both hands on the steering wheel.
Officer: Here’s your license back. What were you doing way over here this afternoon?
Me: I did some work down the road this morning. After lunch I realized that there was something I needed to check on and decided to come back over here this afternoon because I’ve got something else to do in the morning.
Officer: Okay. Well, I’m just going to give you a verbal warning and ask you to pay closer attention to the road signs.
Me: Thank you very much sir.
Officer: You’re welcome and have a nice afternoon.
Me. You too.


More food for thought…

I did some work for a deputy a couple of years back, and we were talking about his job. During the conversation he told me that with 90% of the traffic violations that he pulls over he walks to the car with the intention of issuing a warning, but most of the time the driver’s attitude convinces him to issue a ticket instead.

[FlaGator]

Always a good reminder

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR465HoCWFQ[/youtube]

[DefiantSix]

Always a good reminder

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR465HoCWFQ[/youtube]

GMTA!!

[USA4ME]

When it comes to law enforcement, I make it a general rule in life not to argue with someone who can shoot me.

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[FiddyBeowulf]

When it comes to law enforcement, I make it a general rule in life not to argue with someone who can shoot me.

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I always found "Never try and get the last word with a cop" the best advice to follow. Just shut up and do what the officer says.

[JohnnyReb]

On traffic stops, "Yes Sir" always worked best for me.....and the fact that I was guilty, why argue?

[J P Sousa]

As soon as I saw the blue flashing lights I found a safe spot to pull onto the shoulder. Even though this wasn’t a busy road I made sure that I had a place so the officer could safely approach my vehicle without fear of traffic.
By the time I came to a complete stop I had both windows rolled completely down, the vehicle turned-off, the radio turned off, and both of my hands on the steering wheel with my driver’s license in between my thumb and finger.   

I worked with an ex-cop (retired because he said everybody was out to get him.......politicians and other cops).

One day on his way to work, 5 am, he ran a red light (said it was questionable). He said HE was the ONLY car on the road at this hour. A cop stopped him and starts writing a ticket, the ex-cop turns the radio on LOUD. The cop asked him to turn it down, the ex-cop turns it UP. Apparently the ex-cop expected just a warning BUT.......so he resorted to things the typical a..holes he used to encounter would do. 



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