gigantic primitive chafing; tries feminine hygiene product (update 01-17)

[franksolich]

http://drmcdougall.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=11960&sid=d07e1693d2ca18164a184c7cf5bcdf6d&start=615

Oh my.

The #08 TOP PRIMITIVE OF 2009 under his name on Skins's island, the "Systematic Chaos" primitive.

Caution: this update deals with.....chafing.....and is illustrated.

Apparently the gigantic primitive didn't read franksolich's suggestion about using corn starch.  Maybe he mis-read it as "corn syrup" instead, and thus his present miseries.

By the way, the gigantic primitive is currently at 432 pounds, with his bowel movement index unchanged at 54, whatever that means.

Ege Bamyasi
January 17, 2009

I am still in the process of recovery from an absolute nightmare I unwittingly inflicted upon myself on the 13th, which is the day of my last post here in the Journal. I made that post in the morning if I recall correctly, before all the fun I'm about to relate here started.

The only way I'm going to get through the whole thing is if I put a -- albeit dark -- humorous spin on the whole thing.

I'll use a trusty "LOLcat" from icanhascheezburger.com to set the stage:

after which one of those cat posters

I pretty much ended up both looking and feeling like that poor critter for the past three days, and to a large extent I still do. And it's all because of the things I have been trying to get the incessant chafing and itching around my thighs and groin to just go the hell away.

My first mistake involved using an athlete's foot spray from Target (not indicated for jock itch, coincidentally), which Jeanette bought for me as what we thought would be a cheaper alternative than the Lotrimin AF spray I usually use. That stuff works on me, and works well. This Target stuff, on the other hand, turns out to have a different active ingredient. And while it claims to be an anti-fungal on the can, and is supposed to work wonders on feet, it ended up doing nothing for my itching and chafing, while managing to burn my skin about five times worse than what I'm familiar with. That's a lot of burning.

After discovering that this particular product wasn't going to help me, I went back to just gooping myself up with Eucerin. While that helps stop my skin from rubbing together painfully with my every motion, it doesn't do anything for my underlying problem, either.

So, on the 13th, I got completely desperate. My complaint was anything but a minor one by then and I had to do something or end up flying off the deep end.

I remembered there being a tube of clotrimazole 1% ointment (same active ingredient as in the good anti-fungal spray I swear by) somewhere in our apartment. I checked all the places I could easily enough on my own, namely the bedroom and bathroom drawers, and came up empty. However, I did find some "feminine" anti-itch and anti-fungal products. I figured -- logically enough, I hope? -- that even if the stuff was branded in a feminine packaging and had an accompanying flowery scent, it would help me which was what counted. One tube was an anti-itch ointment and the other was anti-fungal and anti-yeast. I figured that being diabetic, there was an outlying chance that my problem really was caused by a yeast infection, so this was gonna be great. Flowery or not.

Um, not so fast.

I applied generous amounts of these products all over my itchy and tender areas. Under the belly, thighs, groin, everywhere. Anything left over I would just rub off on my leg or hands before getting up and washing my hands at the sink. I did this twice on the 13th, spaced about six hours or so apart. I was still waiting for it to just work already, which it really hadn't yet, when the real fun started.

One thing I was able to proudly state about myself, until this week, is that I've never experienced an allergic reaction to anything in my life which resulted in massive hives and swelling. Well, now I can say I've had this happen. In about the most painful and humiliating way possible. Every bit of skin I put these ointments on literally ballooned up to nearly an inch thicker, and turned a hideous, deep purplish-red. Even my fingers and hands! It hurt to lie in bed. It hurt even more to sit here at the computer, or sit up in bed trying to get the focus off my suffering with the help of some console games or TV. Video games were even tougher because I could barely grip the controllers in my left hand due to the swelling in my fingers and palms. And it really friggin' hurt to get up and move around for any reason.

I coped in the only way I know how. I turned on my dark and depreciating humor to overdrive. I went off on a litany that would have made the late George Carlin proud when Jeanette got home from work and I had to explain my -- interesting -- new appearance. None of that is fit to reproduce here, but at least both of us were in stitches even though I was mad enough underneath it all to just want to go around breaking stuff.

On the plus side, I've now been using the good products with clotrimazole in them, since Jeanette got some for me ASAP after seeing what the other crap had done. Additionally, most of the swelling is gone. On the not-so-plus side, I'm still tender and beet red all over the place and may remain so for a few more days yet. I'm just glad I didn't end up so bad off that I had to seek medical attention regardless of my lack of transportation or insurance. I'm just not prepared to do that at all right now, and to end up having to do it for something that stupid and humiliating would have sucked. Big time.

On edit: I hope this isn't TMI, but I decided just now to go ahead and snap a photo of my left thigh. It mostly just shows the area where I rubbed the leftovers off on my skin. The areas which got a concentrated application aren't swollen any more, but are still tender and even darker in color. This is four days after the fact!

after which a close-up photograph of the gigantic primitive's left thigh and groin

I guess I'm doing this to try and prove that I'm not just whining for attention or exaggerating for effect. Sometimes I wonder how people who have no concept of what it's like to weigh 2.5x what you're supposed to (closer to 2x now, but still that's way too big) react to the things I relate here. I think you either have to live it yourself, or be in close contact with someone who is, to really understand how bad things can get at the drop of a dime -- or in this case a few drops of the wrong medicinal creams.

*sigh*

I've been doing some research on the web this morning since I'm back to where I can at least sit here in a chair for a while without everything mushing together into one great, big glob of misery. I found a vendor on Amazon who sells compressive exercise shorts for men, in a size which will fit me.

http://www.amazon.com/Mens-Compression- ... 162&sr=8-1

I'm going to get some of these, probably right after I get my Bodybugg in another few days. I think that wearing them will stop the irritation to my skin from it rubbing together while I pedal. These baggy boxers I am wearing now just don't do anything helpful, even if I try to strategically fit the material to my contours. It's just too loose and won't stay where I put it. Some form-fitting, snug garments like these should help tremendously.

In the face of these mounting delays and time just spent anxiously idling along, I'm not doing anywhere as bad emotionally as I likely would have in years past. These are just challenges. They suck and at times they seem relentless and unforgiving, and sometimes even completely out of proportion, but life goes on. I'll get to where I need to be eventually.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this.

And thank you for the update; we were getting concerned.

[Aaron Burr]

I guess he's dropping 54 Lbs every time he has to blast a dookie. Out of all the talking monkeys I have acquainted myself with thus far, this one actually evoked some sympathy from me. But this post...I'm almost speechless. He got anti fungal spray to put on an open wound?! Tears of laughter, and a hilarious visual.

I should mail him some bon bons as a token of my sympathy.

[kenth]

By the way, the gigantic primitive is currently at 432 pounds, with his bowel movement index unchanged at 54, whatever that means.

Circumference?

Too, I wonder how Jeanette feels to have the whole of the Internet let in on her medical needs. Oh my indeed. 

[franksolich]

By the way, these "compressive exercise shorts"--is that longhand for "spandex"?

And won't that cut off, or at least hinder, the blood circulation?

I'm not comfortable with that idea.

[LC EFA]

Egad !

The details people share on a forum open to the world are really disturbing.

[The Village Idiot]

Oh my.

And thank you for the update; we were getting concerned.

nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..............................

 

[Chris]

By the way, these "compressive exercise shorts"--is that longhand for "spandex"?

And won't that cut off, or at least hinder, the blood circulation?

I'm not comfortable with that idea.

That, or pantyhose.

[The Village Idiot]

By the way, these "compressive exercise shorts"--is that longhand for "spandex"?

And won't that cut off, or at least hinder, the blood circulation?

I think it means tight stretchy pants, yes.

It will be cut off by the paramedics I would say. lol.

[JohnnyReb]

He needs to scrub those areas with a good stiff brush and gasoline.......not only would that kill the fungus but he'll feel cool as long as he keeps running.....

[Aaron Burr]

Man. I picture this guy sort of as an Ignatius J. Reilly kind of character. (Confederacy of Dunces) Does anybody know what started off this hilarious bike ride to nowhere?

[LC EFA]

I think it means tight stretchy pants, yes.

It will be cut off by the paramedics I would say. lol.

Or the construction crew they get in to knock out enough walls to get the crane boom in to get him out.

[JohnnyReb]

That, or pantyhose.

OK I've heard of "Queen" size but what size would he wear?

[franksolich]

He needs to scrub those areas with a good stiff brush and gasoline.......not only would that kill the fungus but he'll feel cool as long as he keeps running.....

Seriously, Jeanette needs to lock him up inside a cage, through the bars which she passes him a bowl of cold gruel every day, and an apple every third Sunday, if anyone's serious about this guy losing weight.

[Aaron Burr]

Whatever size Rosie O'Donnell wears...after it's taken in some.

[GOBUCKS]

All that angry red chafing is most likely the result of Jeanette's frantic squirming, in repeated, lengthy, but futile attempts to make connections. Not everything is gargantuan. But he's 432 in his dreams. That monster thigh will go 200 on its own.

[Randy]

Frank is right. What the LVL needs to do is dry out these areas not keep slathering on stuff to moisturize it. Fungi need moist to grow.

[Aaron Burr]

Mr. Bucks...I...I think you blinded me with that visual....

[franksolich]

Frank is right. What the LVL needs to do is dry out these areas not keep slathering on stuff to moisturize it. Fungi need moist to grow.

What's this deal about diabetes and yeast infections?

That's new to me.

Of course, I never claimed to know everything.

[BlueStateSaint]

He needs to scrub those areas with a good stiff brush and gasoline.......not only would that kill the fungus but he'll feel cool as long as he keeps running.....

He does have to use a heat and light source to see what he's doing . . . A road flare would work . . . 

[Randy]

Dunno on that one Frank. I've only had one yeast infection and that was in my neck where they'd ran a swan catheter into my heart and lungs. The docs prescribed Lamisil which up till that point I'd only heard of for female problems. My GF at the time was a bit weirded out by it too LOL

[LC EFA]

Seriously, Jeanette needs to lock him up inside a cage, through the bars which she passes him a bowl of cold gruel every day, and an apple every third Sunday, if anyone's serious about this guy losing weight.

I'd include a dynamo hooked up to an treadmill. Make him sweat some out.

[kenth]

What's this deal about diabetes and yeast infections?

That's new to me.

Of course, I never claimed to know everything.

Diabetics can have a lowered immune system while the extra sugar circulating through their system is great fuel for breeding fungi.

[Celtic Rose]

What's this deal about diabetes and yeast infections?

That's new to me.

Of course, I never claimed to know everything.

I suspect it may have something to do with the theory that excess sugar consumption causes systemic yeast infections.

[Randy]

I'd include a dynamo hooked up to an treadmill. Make him sweat some out.

Hook his video game console to the dynamo so he has some incentive to pedal longer too.

[happy1ga]

kenth and Celtic are right. Diabetics, especially obese diabetics, tend to have this issue due to overproduction of the sugar AND the fact that skin folds stay moist due to the overlapping without seeing light o day or getting air. If he's reading this, my comment to gigantic is this:


DUDE, YOU NEED A STEROID. NOW. REALLY, LIKE A MONTH AGO, DUMB@SS. YOU ARE RUNNING A SERIOUS RISK OF STAPH INFECTION, IF YOU DONT HAVE IT ALREADY. (IM NOT LOOKING AT YOUR GROSS OUT PICS). THIS CAN KILL YOU, FOOL. QUIT SPRAYING ODD ANTIFUNGALS ON YOURSELF AND HAUL IT TO A REAL DOCTOR.


This Jeanette woman is either a complete idiot or a saint. I cant figure out which.