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Offline franksolich

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primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« on: August 11, 2008, 03:12:12 PM »
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x3775585

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BlueJazz  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Mon Aug-11-08 09:27 AM
Original message

My Funny incident at the Gas Station (Woman and a Hummer)
   
Pulled up this morning to the local station to get gas ...On the other side of the pump was a Large (not Fat, just Large) Lady filling up a maroon Hummer (the big one).

As I was filling, I gave the Hummer a Look-see...the Lady looked at me and said "I'll trade you".

(I was driving my truck..a 2005 small Ford Ranger).....

Me: (Smiling)..Ah..thanks but I couldn't afford the fuel.
Lady: Tell me about it...This Monstrosity drinks gas like I drink Chocolate Malts!
Me: Laughing
Lady: This was one of my Husbands Brilliant ideas...the day he brought it home I said "What the **** is THAT!!"
Me: Laughing Much!
Lady: ..and something else..I'm sick and tired of people shaking their heads at me and frowning or giving me the finger. I was thinking of putting a big sign on the side... "My husbands piece of Shit"
Me: Laughing like hell!
Lady:I was gonna' sell this "tin box on wheels" but I doubt if anybody is stupid enough to buy it. I'll tell you one damn thing..If my husband EVER brings home some Junk Heap like this again, his clothes and stuff is going on the front lawn,,,,maybe Bush or his band of thieves will give him a place to stay.!
Me: Laughing so hard I was almost crying.

She finished fueling...said good-by and started to leave. I said "Nice talking to you ...been a pleasure."

Lady: Have a good one, Sir

She was a very likable person...

Yeah, right.

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driver8  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Mon Aug-11-08 09:32 AM
Response to Original message

1. That is a great story.
   
It's nice that she had a sense of humor about it.

I am surprised at how many of those pieces of shit I see on the road. I cannot imagine having to put gas in one of those things.

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Evergreen Emerald  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Mon Aug-11-08 09:48 AM
Response to Reply #1

2. When I see one, I always make an assumption
   
They are overcompensating for... something!!!!

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DefenseLawyer  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Mon Aug-11-08 11:13 AM
Response to Reply #2

17. I think with the Hummer in particular
   
it is a way for chickenhawks to pretend they are in the military without actually getting shot at.

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GliderGuider  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Mon Aug-11-08 10:30 AM
Response to Reply #3

14. There was one on display in a nearby mall a couple of years ago...
   
I got some 3x5 index cards, wrote "How many miles to the Iraqi does this thing get?" and put them under the wipers and in the side windows. I then stood back and watched. A lot of people came up and read them, but nobody took them off in the hour I watched.

The best reaction was when a boy of about 12 came up and read it. He ran and grabbed his dad and younger sister, pulled them over and showed them the card. Dad read it, laughed and then spent several minutes in a serious conversation with his kids. I was too far away to hear, but it looked like an important lesson got taught.

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cobalt1999  (1000+ posts) Mon Aug-11-08 09:54 AM
Response to Original message

4. Funny.
   
I can't believe people would go around giving someone the finger just for what they drive though. That's stupid.

I had an enjoyable stop at the gas station this weekend. I pulled in on my motorcycle across from a large pickup (dual back wheels) where the guy was pumping. I got off, filled up in 1 minute, climbed back on, grinned at the guy who was still pumping away who then mouthed "**** you" to me.

Put a smile on my face for the next hour.

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cobalt1999  (1000+ posts) Mon Aug-11-08 11:15 AM
Response to Reply #16

18. I know, people are assholes.
   
The thing is, a person with a SUV could go home to a solar powered home with ceiling fans.

A person driving a Toyota could go home to a house with the A/C cranked down running 24/7 and using more energy than the SUV driver.

How the person driving the Toyota could feel so confident of the total equation that they feel justified in some way to give someone the finger, is mind boggling to me.

The skumbag primitive:

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IanDB1  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Mon Aug-11-08 11:56 AM
Response to Reply #13

22. "Should we go to the car dealership for a hummer... or just get a hand-job at Starbucks?"

The skumbag primitive again:

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IanDB1  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Mon Aug-11-08 11:53 AM
Response to Original message

21. I ALMOST feel bad if I'm one of the people who have given her the finger...   
   
.... however, I hope her husband is one of the people I waved my pinky at in the universally recognized, "Teeny-Weeny-Peenie" gesture.
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Offline Rebel

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #1 on: August 11, 2008, 03:25:28 PM »
The big one? The H1? The 100K+ one?

Hey, I'll BUY you a f'n Prius for it.

Other than that.....  :bs:
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Offline Bondai

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #2 on: August 11, 2008, 03:29:06 PM »
I read this one earlier this morning while I was wandering around the island, I was going to drag it back with me but I was too lazy... :-)
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Offline Zeus

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #3 on: August 11, 2008, 03:31:51 PM »
Quote from: Rebel on August 11, 2008, 03:25:28 PM
The big one? The H1? The 100K+ one?

Hey, I'll BUY you a f'n Prius for it.

Other than that.....  :bs:

The Hummer is actually more eco friendly than the Prius.
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Offline jinxmchue

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #4 on: August 11, 2008, 03:35:07 PM »
I didn't know Hummers bounced.
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Offline Chris_

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2008, 03:44:57 PM »
Quote from: jinxmchue on August 11, 2008, 03:35:07 PM
I didn't know Hummers bounced.

You have to inflate the tires properly.
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Offline dutch508

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2008, 03:51:23 PM »
Quote from: Chris on August 11, 2008, 03:44:57 PM
Quote from: jinxmchue on August 11, 2008, 03:35:07 PM
I didn't know Hummers bounced.

You have to inflate the tires properly.

it's more of an up and down motion, but sure, OK.
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Offline Servonaut

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2008, 04:03:12 PM »
Quote
BlueJazz  Donating Member  (1000+ posts) Mon Aug-11-08 09:27 AM
Original message

My Funny incident at the Gas Station (Woman and a Hummer)
   
Pulled up this morning to the local station to get gas ...On the other side of the pump was a Large (not Fat, just Large) Lady filling up a maroon Hummer (the big one).

As I was filling, I gave the Hummer a Look-see...the Lady looked at me and said "I'll trade you".

(I was driving my truck..a 2005 small Ford Ranger).....

Me: (Smiling)..Ah..thanks but I couldn't afford the fuel.
Lady: Tell me about it...This Monstrosity drinks gas like I drink Chocolate Malts!

Me: Laughing

Lady: This was one of my Husbands Brilliant ideas...the day he brought it home I said "What the **** is THAT!!"

Me: Laughing Much!

Lady: ..and something else..I'm sick and tired of people shaking their heads at me and frowning or giving me the finger. I was thinking of putting a big sign on the side... "My husbands piece of Shit"

Me: Laughing like hell!

Lady:I was gonna' sell this "tin box on wheels" but I doubt if anybody is stupid enough to buy it. I'll tell you one damn thing..If my husband EVER brings home some Junk Heap like this again, his clothes and stuff is going on the front lawn,,,,maybe Bush or his band of thieves will give him a place to stay.!

Me: Laughing so hard I was almost crying.

She finished fueling...said good-by and started to leave. I said "Nice talking to you ...been a pleasure."

Lady: Have a good one, Sir

She was a very likable person...

I dont know about ya'll, but that would creep me out.

 
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Offline BlueStateSaint

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #8 on: August 11, 2008, 04:28:52 PM »
Quote from: Chris on August 11, 2008, 03:44:57 PM
Quote from: jinxmchue on August 11, 2008, 03:35:07 PM
I didn't know Hummers bounced.

You have to inflate the tires properly.

Listen to the BarackStar!  :-)
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Offline ScubaGuy

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #9 on: August 11, 2008, 04:40:24 PM »
It starts in what could be a true story.

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As I was filling, I gave the Hummer a Look-see...the Lady looked at me and said "I'll trade you".


I had a similar incident back when the Clinton peak prices happened.  I was on a motorcycle and she was in a hummer.

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Me: (Smiling)..Ah..thanks but I couldn't afford the fuel.
Lady: Tell me about it...This Monstrosity drinks gas like I drink Chocolate Malts!
Me: Laughing

I could believe that it still may be true depending on her sense of humor.

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Lady: This was one of my Husbands Brilliant ideas...the day he brought it home I said "What the **** is THAT!!"
Me: Laughing Much!

Now it's starting to bounce.

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Lady: ..and something else..I'm sick and tired of people shaking their heads at me and frowning or giving me the finger. I was thinking of putting a big sign on the side... "My husbands piece of Shit"
Me: Laughing like hell!


And it's bouncing higher.

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Lady:I was gonna' sell this "tin box on wheels" but I doubt if anybody is stupid enough to buy it. I'll tell you one damn thing..If my husband EVER brings home some Junk Heap like this again, his clothes and stuff is going on the front lawn,,,,maybe Bush or his band of thieves will give him a place to stay.!
Me: Laughing so hard I was almost crying.

Now it's into full bounce mode.  We have all the DUmmie talking points in there.

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Offline franksolich

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2008, 05:36:48 PM »
One of the ways this bounced for me was that, generally, middle-class middle-aged overweight women don't tend to use some of those four-letter words in conversations with strangers.

There are of course probably exceptions, but generally.....
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Offline DixieBelle

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #11 on: August 11, 2008, 05:45:48 PM »
I bet it was a really hot chick who wouldn't give the primitive the time of day.
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Offline BannedFromDU

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #12 on: August 11, 2008, 08:53:59 PM »


    The Hummer is to DUmmy stories in the 2000s as marijuana was to the Penthouse Forum letters in the 1970s: the catalyst for a highly stylized short-term interaction that, while it didn't actually occur, nevertheless titillates the imagination.

     Imagine how horrible it must be to give over such a large part of your psyche to the dread and loathing DUmmies feel over...a vehicle.

     

     DUmmies: you post pictures of your dogs and cats. You post pictures of yourself holding guitars when you want to get laid. You post pictures of George Bush for people to caption. You spend hours in Photoshop trying to amuse your friends. Digital cameras are plentiful and of high quality, and many of you have them on your cell phones. WHY, then, do you never, ever, ever offer photographic proof of your encounters with large vehicles?

     
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5. IMO

a certain percentage of DU is depressed and has other mental issues.

Offline Chris_

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Re: primitive tells a humdinger of a Hummer story
« Reply #13 on: August 11, 2008, 08:59:17 PM »
Quote from: BannedFromDU on August 11, 2008, 08:53:59 PM
The Hummer is to DUmmy stories in the 2000s as marijuana was to the Penthouse Forum letters in the 1970s: the catalyst for a highly stylized short-term interaction that, while it didn't actually occur, nevertheless titillates the imagination.
:rotf:

Who talks to strangers at the gas pump?  I never do it.  It just doesn't happen.  It's the automotive equivalent of standing at a urinal.
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