I don't like to eat clowns -- they taste funny.
Why won't cannibals eat divorced women?
They're very bitter.
Why do cannibals prefer eating readers to writers?
Because writers cramp but readers digest.
What did the cannibal do after he had dumped his girlfriend?
Wiped his ass.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his uncle in the woods?
Two cannibals just finished a big meal and one turns to the other while rubbing his stomach with his fist and say, "You know, I just ate my mother-in-law, and she still doesn't agree with me!"
What's the definition of Trust?
Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.
When do cannibals leave the table?
When everyone's eaten.
The first cannibal asked the 2nd cannibal, "Aren't you done eating yet?" The 2nd cannibal replied, "I'm on my last leg now."
Did you hear about the cannibal who loved fast food?
He ordered a pizza with everybody on it.
One cannibal to another: I never met a man I didn't like!
What is a cannibal's favorite type of TV show?
A celebrity roast.
Have you heard about the cannibal restaurant?
Dinner costs an arm and a leg.
Where do cannibals shop for fine furniture?
Eatin' Allen's.
What do cannibals eat for dessert?
Chocolate covered aunts.
What is a cannibal's favorite game?
Swallow the leader.
What do cannibals make out of politicians?
Bologna sandwiches.
What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
A man gets captured by cannibals and every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school for buttering up his teacher?
Two cannibals were sitting by a fire. The first says, "Gee, I hate my mother-in-law." The 2nd replies, "So, try the potatoes.
Cannibal's recipe book: How to Serve Your Fellow Man.
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A cannibal visited his neighbor to admire his new refrigerator. "What is the storage capacity?" the man asked.
"I'm not exactly sure," the neighbor replied. "But it at least holds the two men that brought it."
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A tourist goes to Africa and asks his tourist guide while walking in the jungle, "Are we safe here? Aren't there cannibals around here?"
And the tourist guide says, "Yes. You can be sure there is no cannibals in Africa."
And the tourist says, "But there may be still some cannibals."
And the tourist guide says, "No, rest assured. We ate the last one last Monday."
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Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, "You know, I just can't seem to get a tender Missionary. I've baked them, I've roasted them, I've stewed them, I've barbecued them, I've tried every sort of marinade. I just can't seem to get them tender."
The second cannibal asks, "What kind of Missionary do you use?"
The other replied, "You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and they're sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads."
"Ah, ha!" the second cannibal replies. "No wonder ... those are FRIARS!"
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Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Oh dad, there's one."
"No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."
Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough."
"No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."
About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."
"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."
"Why not?" asked the son.
"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."
