Nearly five years ago, one phase of my life was over when my mole was officially kicked out of the lovely confines of the Democratic Underground when the in-your-face member known as BantheGOP was cashiered for a typical over-the-line post involving reparations. July 2013 was the first year of the second year of Obama, who was moving as far left as he could by forcing Harry Reid to lose the judicial filibuster, and setting up 2014 and the GOP takeover (albeit the RINO-progressives's in charge) of the Congress. With that, Ban's fairly small post count (1088) was probably was one of the strangest aspects of the site, of which coincidentally the leadership decided that having a weaponized MIRT upgrade was due. Oh, well. (Thread about Ban's demise
HERE)
Since then, most of the things that BantheGOP advocated, vociferously and without shame, was the destruction of the Republican Party, and the movement of the Democratic Party to absolute socialism. Unfortunately, many of my posts that I wanted to save has been lost in the Goog-lag, so I can only recollect here. Suffice to say that I advocated the following: Decertification (political elimination) of Israel; Maximum Wage set at 10 million dollars, a Wealth tax on all assets per anum, elimination of the US military, migrating our military command to the UN, getting in the face of all Republican officials and voters (ring a bell, anyone??), and suing all the oil companies like we do cigarette companies. Virtually every one of these subjects was met both with derision, as well as with some acceptance. While staying within civil norms on not denigrating other DUmmies, the point of BantheGOP was to show the END RESULT of Democrat/socialist policies, knowing that the average DUmmie would think even I was extreme in my thinking. Ha ha ha.
Flash forward five years: I trolled a newspaper in my old stomping grounds of Torrance, CA. Those letters are still around this site, but the funny part is that every time I wrote a letter to the editor, I came to the Cave to make fun of the idiots who printed the editor. I wanted them to Google me and find out what an idiot they were. Here is a Daily Breeze link, still up (
HERE; scroll down to "Extend the right to vote to undocumented immigrants").
Now, however, I'm onto bigger and better things. You see with the whole self-identification fad, I said to myself, "Self, what would happen is if I not only trolled the DUmmies, I actually BECAME one in real life?" So I took the plunge. First, I decided to create my new persona. It had to be non-white. It had to be non-male. It had to be non-American, at least in the traditional sense. Finally, it had to be young, millennial young. So I switched from 60 years old down to, picking a number at random of an age in which I was 11 years in the Army, 28. So far so good.
Next thing my troll had to do was to come up with a name. I remember a girl in high school, name of Alexandria Founne. I guess she was Armenian, but "Alexandria" sounded millennial-ish. Now for the last name. In high school, I was picked on by a bully, Jesus Cortez. Easy! That would be my last name. But wait, Alexandria is a new-fangled woman who had to have a hyphenated last name. A bit of a brainscratcher. Aha! "Alexandria Obama-Cortez" is the PERFECT name! BUT, alas, that would have been a bit over the top, so I looked around my office again. Presently, I saw my workhorse adding machine, a... you may have guessed... a "Casio." Throw in the "O" from Obama, and my new troll's name came up as "Alexandria Ocasio Cortez." Sweet!
(Side note: In 1986 I met up with Jesus Cortez at a 10-year reunion. Jesus and I met, even embraced. I found out he was a marine for 3 years, then went into threat management. Small world.)
Back to my new troll: After some extensive and admittedly painful operations, I was transformed from an ugly white 60 year old to a 28-year old Latina. My backstory? I looked into the archives of DU to look at my old stances, and essentially, I transferred it to my mole. Success! I beat out an old fogey, Joe Crowly myself. (Of course, he wasn't really beaten by a 28-year old Latina, but by a cunning old guy who knew the score with his district).
And my positions as Alexandria Obama-Cortez...er, sorry, Alexandria OCASIO-Cortez... are NO DIFFERENT than my positions I spouted out in DEMU land! Trolling is EASY PEASY with this lame bunch of people who actually THINK that socialism is DA BOMB! Fun, fun fun...you know what? I think I'll not only run, I'll go for SPEAKER RIGHT OFF THE BAT! Or is that a little extreme?? Tune in.
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OK, as you all know this was a parody, sorta. But seriously, looking at the state of the current Democrat party, what difference is there between Ban and the average member? And I WILL be blunt...if I could magically transform myself into the ultimate troll, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, I would do NO DIFFERENT than the one you see on TV, other than Fox News of course. Incidentally, Fox News put out all the BantheGOP political points that Ocasio-Cortez stood for. What did she say? She agrees with every socialist point!
BantheGOP may be moled out, but BantheGOP can now be seen in virtually every Democrat. If we lose the House and Senate, it will be on the heads of all the squish-RINO's.
