* That people who earn more than $250,000 a year and only pay 1/3 of that in personal taxes is crippling our economy because they don't pay enough but a government subsidized private sector job that cost over $500,000 in taxpayer funding per job is the key to economic growth.
* Capitalism is bad because it leads to monopolies and that results in shoddy products and high prices but the union's monopoly on labor or socialism's monopoly on production is somehow exempt.
* A heterosexual man serving alongside females in the armed forces is a potential sexual harrasser/offender but gay men serving beside physically fit young hetersexual men will the cardinals of sexual self-restraint.
* Military training turns youn men into savage, soulless killers but gays and women need to be subjected to this same training out of fairness
* A woman who gets drunk and has sex has been assaulted because she was unable to properly consent but the man who was drunk and had sex with her is still criminally liable because he should have known better.
* Abortion clinics should have fewer health regulations than your average roadside taco stand.
* America is an oppressive, racist, imerpialist, exploitative hell hole...and we need to allow 20 million people to enter into it without checks or safeguards.
* Advocating the 10th Amendment of the US constitution is decidedly anti-American.
* Demanding the US withdraw from a nation where terrorists are trying to take control and use it as a base of operations against the US is patriotic but saying spending and taxation in the US is too high is treason.
* Every dollar of government spending nets $1.84 in economic activity even if it does nothing more than track the drinking habits of lesbian prostitutes in southeast Asian countries but spending a single dollar on the US military is a total waste of money with more bad effects than good.
* Joe Camel and Ronald McDonald entice children into unhealthy behaviors but primetime TV porn and condoms at school won't influence them beyond what they're already prone to do.
* Gun ownership leads to heinous acts of violence
* Death row inmates convicted of heinous acts of violence are victims of an unjust system
* Death row inmates deserve 20 years of trial, juries, discovery, evidentiary hearings, cross-examination, expert witnesses, character witenesses, representative council, judicial review, appeals, clemency hearings and advocacy but unborn children are not entitled to a 10 minute, non-invasive sonogram
* What America did the the native populations was horrible so we should give the country back to the hispanics.
* People who plan for their own self-sufficiency and independence are destroying this nation for the rest of us.
* Untold evils await those who smoke cigarettes while eating Happy Meals and the government must step in to protect people from themselves. San Francisco bath houses, on the other hand, are as sacrosanct as churches
* UPDATE: churches are no longer sacrosanct...they give people the wrong opinion of San Francisco bath houses
* Fewer priests would be tempted to molest their child parishioners if only the Catholic church would allow them to join teachers unions.
* That any person in America should be reduced to subsistence living off the land, in scrabbled-together living conditons is a blight of shame unless they're native, in which case it's actually kind of romantic.
* The singular problem with American education is that we only spend 5 times more money per student than all the other nations scoring higher than us.
* Conservatives are mind-numbed, easily-led sheep who are surprisingly resistant to the liberal reality-based community.
* Independent moderates voters were enlightened healers of America's racial divide in 2008 who will be seething, sublimated racists in 2012.
* We're only 20 trillion dollars away from defeating the hypothetical threat of global climate change.
* Christian belief in the absurd idea of a sky-friend is closing people's minds to the earth's screams that we stop raping her.
* Spending $3,700,000,000,000 annually on the federal government alone is a good deal for all the wonderful benefits and social services its provides to enrich and better our lives; you just don't know a good deal when you see one.
* Barack Obama knows what he's talking about.
* Michelle Obama is a snappy dresser.
* We need a fairness doctrine to make sure FOX news doesn't overpower the other 532 channels on your TV.
* Any and all ill-effects of indiscriminate sex can be resolved by ready access to birth control and abortion thus obviating the need for monogamous marriages
* Marriage is a moral fabrication of a repressive, capitalistic patriarchy
* America will lose its moral compass if 1% of the population is not allowed to legally marry.
* Corporations pay taxes, not consumers
* If you just give them total control over your education, health, economy, science, recreation, food, finances and society they swear to Gaia they'll get it right this time
* If an infinite number of liberals typing on an infinite number of keyboards for an infinite amount of time they might one day be able to come up with a coherent policy statement
