You might be a Russian spy if...
you voted for Trump.
you spell some words with a K instead of a C.
you've had vodka before.
you've used a backwards R to spell words at least once (i.e. Danny Torrence, definitely a Russian spy).
you've eaten borscht at least once (eating beetroot soup in Minecraft also counts).
you've ordered a Black Russian.
you've made fun of liberals at least once.
you've played Tetris for any length of time.
you've used the words 'rushing', 'stalling', 'linen', or 'da X' instead of 'the X'.
you've stacked one box inside of another box.
you didn't vote for Hillary.
you've eaten at least one red jellybean, M&M, or Lifesaver.
you've seen at least one cardinal (bird, Catholic title, football player, etc.).
you've seen Red Dawn (not the remake, which sucks).
you've landed on a red square at least once in Candy Land.