Retread DUmmy "GravityCollapse" wants a book back from his ex-girlfriend

[Mr Mannn]

Star Member d_r (3,020 posts)
26. you have the key

just go get it.

spoke the little devil on his left shoulder

Iggo (23,037 posts)
27. If you end up in jail over this book...

...you're going to feel real stupid.

And with very good reason.

Spoke the angel on his right

Whoever this gal is...I like her!

[GOBUCKS]

What got me was he provided everyone with an "update" as if hordes were waiting around in suspense on how the drama was going.  Nobody cares, douchebag.

Don't listen to her, douchebag. We love it when you DUmmies follow up and keep your storylines going.

We want to know what Horse With No Brain's slutty daughter is up to these days.

We love hearing about wallduded DUmmy Eva cali crawling on her belly in agony from her shattered hind leg.

How about Pam's terminal gut rot, or the Omaha Weeper's disability scam, or the nutcase vs. the bullies?

I want to hear when terminal DUmmies like WCGreen and Taverner Kregel slither off to hell, so I can check off another point on my dead pool.

How about Sarah Imaboobi's latest boyfriend catastrophe?

Without DUmmy updates, the DUmp is pretty depressing and useless.

[miskie]

Clue to DUmmy: Buy a new Book. Just let this one go.
I'm thinking Gravity is playing the game, "Find excuses to keep talking to my Ex."

Knowing its so dear to you, she may well have thrown it away.
I'm thinking she is playing the game of, "Keep a Dummy in Suspense."

GEORGE: If there's any doubt, I do a leave-behind. Keys, gloves, scarf - I go back to her place to pick it up. Date number two.

JERRY: That is so old. Why don't you show up at her door in a wooden horse?

[DumbAss Tanker]

For all that angst and drama, it better be an original Gutenberg Bible.

[obumazombie]

The book is a microcosm of their failed relationship. NISM ? Don't drop the book, it will make a PLONK sound.

[DefiantSix]

Without DUmmy updates, the DUmp is pretty depressing and useless.

Even with DUmmy updates, you need a dosimeter every time you paddle over there, lest you stay too long and hafta start popping zoloft like chicklets just to keep from making the pain in your temples from all the high pitched whining and bellyaching stop with a claw hammer.

[diesel driver]

It might help if the primitive named the title of the book, and explained a little why it's so important to him (after all, books are just paper and cloth), after which we could decide whether or not to feel sorry for him.

How much are autographed copies of Mein Kampf or Das Kapital worth these days?

[Dori]

How much are autographed copies of Mein Kampf or Das Kapital worth these days?

 

[JohnnyReb]

How much are autographed copies of Mein Kampf or Das Kapital worth these days?

Since DUmmies think they are required reading.....more than they're actually worth.

[miskie]

Its probably a dog-eared and somewhat sticky copy of a '70s edition of 'The Joy of Sex' with lots of pencil drawings of naked hippies.

[obumazombie]

A Doctor Spock book. Possibly Chopra.

[diesel driver]

A Doctor Spock book. Possibly Chopra.

We must think more on their comprehensive level.

Anything by Dr. Seuss would be "advanced" reading.

[Mr Mannn]

Wee Willie Pittster co-wrote a book too. Wouldn't it be a hoot if that was the one in question?

[franksolich]

Wee Willie Pittster co-wrote a book too. Wouldn't it be a hoot if that was the one in question?

I was thinking maybe it's his Bible.

[67 Rover]

Anarchist recipe book?

[DefiantSix]

Anarchist recipe book?

God I hope so.  That book in the hands of an average DUmmy almost guarantees that they'll either blow themselves up, or OD on drain cleaner within a week of somebody explaining the big words to them.

Response to Paulie (Reply #1)  Tue Aug 6, 2013, 01:31 AM 

3. It's a personal gift from one of my professors. A collection of works by James Baldwin.

With a note inside.

James Arthur Baldwin (August 2, 1924 – December 1, 1987) was an American novelist, essayist, playwright, poet, and social critic.

Baldwin's essays, such as the collection Notes of a Native Son (1955), explore palpable yet unspoken intricacies of racial, sexual, and class distinctions in Western societies, most notably in mid-20th-century America, and their inevitable if unnameable tensions with personal identity, assumptions, uncertainties, yearning, and questing.[1] Some Baldwin essays are book-length, for instance The Fire Next Time (1963), No Name in the Street (1972), and The Devil Finds Work (1976).

His novels and plays fictionalize fundamental personal questions and dilemmas amid complex social and psychological pressures thwarting the equitable integration of not only blacks, but also gay men—depicting as well some internalized impediments to such individuals' quest for acceptance—namely in his second novel, Giovanni's Room (1956), written well before gay equality was widely espoused in America.[2] Baldwin's best-known novel is his first, Go Tell It on the Mountain (1953).

Sounds like something a DUchebag would read.

[Elspeth.]

Sounds like something a DUchebag would read.

You know it's Maya Angelou's The Heart of a Woman.

[RobJohnson]

I wonder if he got the book back?

[obumazombie]

You know it's Maya Angelou's The Heart of a Woman.

I know why the caged bird sings.

[ColonelCarrots]

So his right hand stole a book from him?

[olde north church]

Anarchist recipe book?

The Utne Reader Fireside Companion

[NHSparky]

Seriously, DUmmies, let it go.  When the ex and I split up, there were a lot of things that were mine that she ended up with, and you know what?  They're THINGS.  And they can be replaced.

If you're so fixated on a particular THING, maybe you should 1--get help, 2--have taken steps to ensure that you took it with you when you left.

DUmbasses.