Job Interview Advice . From The DUmp? lmao

[thundley4]

cynatnite (1000+ posts)             Mon Aug-30-10 02:41 PM
Original message
What is your best job interview advice?
   
I'm having my first job interview in years tomorrow. I'm nervous and excited. After being out of work for so long I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but I can't help it. We need this job, but I worry it'll show.

Give me all you've got!

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x9044562

onehandle   (1000+ posts)           Mon Aug-30-10 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
2. Enthusiasm and high interest, but tempered with professionalism. Ask a lot of questions...
   
...about your day to day actions and responsibilities.

JuniperLea   (1000+ posts)             Mon Aug-30-10 02:46 PM
Response to Original message
4. Do as much research as you can on the company!
   
And ask a lot of questions that show you're interested in and knowledgeable about the company.

Smile, look into the eyes of the person conducting the interview, keep your hands on top of the table or desk.


Good luck!!

mcdonalds.com ?


And finally, speaking from experience.

Warpy   (1000+ posts)             Mon Aug-30-10 02:53 PM
Response to Original message
13. First, show up sober.
   
After that, whether or not you get the job is largely a matter of luck.

But you knew that.

Always remember, it's the Republican economy that's at fault, not you. Be confident about your ability and candid with yourself about what you're up against.

Good luck to you, really.

Sorry Warpy, you scrunt. Obama owns this economic disaster.

[Ralph Wiggum]

Warpy   (1000+ posts)             Mon Aug-30-10 02:53 PM
Response to Original message
13. First, show up sober.

Who on earth would even think about showing up for a job interview NOT sober?  Oh, I forgot this is DUmmyville.

After that, whether or not you get the job is largely a matter of luck.

THe DUmp in a nutshell.  I highly doubt Warpy has ever had a job or even been on an interview, so he/she/it has no clue what the hell it is talking about.

Always remember, it's the Republican economy that's at fault, not you.

Make sure to mention that little nugget in the interview - that'll guarantee you'll never get work again.

[JohnnyReb]

Have some republican pee in the bottle for you.

[Splashdown]

I've never gotten a job based on luck.

[Ralph Wiggum]

snooper2 (1000+ posts)       
Mon Aug-30-10 02:49 PM
Response to Original message
8. from what I learned last week on DU
 take a bath

 

 

[littlelamb]

Maybe someone should tell them to wipe the Cheeto crumbs off their face as well before going into a interview

[Karin]

Make sure to mention that little nugget in the interview - that'll guarantee you'll never get work again.

Man, are you ever right Ralph!  What kind of irresponsible advice is Warpy giving out with this?  Blame somebody or anybody else for a huge  (and I mean HUGE) resume gap?   I'm surprised the DUmmy even got an interview.  If she takes Warpy's advice on that, her empty pocketbook and table is squarely on Warpy's hands. 

[Ralph Wiggum]

superconnected  (1000+ posts)        Mon Aug-30-10 03:20 PM
Response to Original message
23. If you're ex-military make sure you don't look like your identity
 
is wrapped up in the military and I mean if you must keep talking about the marines etc. make sure you say that you're a civilian now and you've adjusted just fine. I've had a couple of guys blow job interviews because they seemed inflexible and overly attached to the marines. Weird. Still we ended up hiring formerly military people - for the non military job and they were great. Maybe they had just been out longer...?

CLANG  (1000+ posts)      Mon Aug-30-10 03:59 PM
Response to Original message
31. Don't fart until you get outside after the interview

Silent3  (1000+ posts)        Mon Aug-30-10 04:00 PM
Response to Original message
32. Avoid use of the word "scumbag"
 Tell your imaginary friends they have to stay home. If they follow you into the interview anyway, don't talk to them, especially don't argue with them or look annoyed by your efforts to ignore them.

[true_blood]

From above;
Silent3  (1000+ posts)        Mon Aug-30-10 04:00 PM
Response to Original message
32. Avoid use of the word "scumbag"
 Tell your imaginary friends they have to stay home. If they follow you into the interview anyway, don't talk to them, especially don't argue with them or look annoyed by your efforts to ignore them.

See what happens when those "head meds" and "medical" marijuana set in?!?! You ignore reality and common sense, you fools!!

[Chris_]

Clean your vagina.

[NHSparky]

Make sure you've been "clean" for at least 30-45 days.  No, so-called "Golden Seal" will not help.

[jukin]

Going to the DUmp for job advice is like holding an AA meeting at a bar.

Not mine but from someone here that hit the head of the nail.

[crockspot]

Haha, I have a phone interview in about thirty minutes. I will be sitting in my underwear, unbathed. 

[JohnnyReb]

If it's a woman, be sure to ask, "Are you naked Margret?" Ray Stevens

[AllosaursRus]

Make sure you give them your DU handle so they can look up how smart you are!

That'll make sure of sumpin'! Not sure what, but sumpin'!

[true_blood]

Great advice DUmmies. You guys are the BEST!!! lol

[Ralph Wiggum]

LostInAnomie  (1000+ posts)      Mon Aug-30-10 06:52 PM
Response to Original message
38. Be related to at least half the people interviewing you.
 Either that, or be currently having an affair with them.

jberryhill  (1000+ posts)      Mon Aug-30-10 09:03 PM
Response to Original message
60. Bring a sharp knife and show them you are willing to bleed
 
Always impressive. 

What a bunch of cynical jerks.

[dandi]

superconnected  (1000+ posts)        Mon Aug-30-10 03:20 PM
Response to Original message
23. If you're ex-military make sure you don't look like your identity
 
is wrapped up in the military and I mean if you must keep talking about the marines etc. make sure you say that you're a civilian now and you've adjusted just fine. I've had a couple of guys blow job interviews because they seemed inflexible and overly attached to the marines. Weird. Still we ended up hiring formerly military people - for the non military job and they were great. Maybe they had just been out longer...?

You know, this just wears me that hell out.

Let me explain something to you, superDUmbass - Employers like to hire former and retired Military!  Unlike you slack jawed DUmp faggots, honorably discharged Veterans (for the most part) have:

1.  A documented work history (Enlisted evaluations and fitreps)

2.  Have shown up to work on time for "x" number of years (hence the honorable discharge and good evals/fitreps)

3.  Are clean from dope

4.  Are pretty well disciplined

5.  Are pretty well motivated

6.  Know what it means to have a mission and do whatever it takes to complete it

7.  Need little to no supervision

8.  Have maturity and experience that only comes with being responsible for other peoples lives and millions of dollars worth of taxpayer hardware

9.  Can adapt to their environment and succeed

10.  Aren't emotionally stunted children (ie YOU)

11.  Take great pride in everything they do


Oh, for the record, "Marines" is spelled with a capital "M".  Tell a Marine that it's not and you're liable to get a little bit of that pride thing up the side of your head.

[AllosaursRus]

You know, this just wears me that hell out.

Let me explain something to you, superDUmbass - Employers like to hire former and retired Military!  Unlike you slack jawed DUmp faggots, honorably discharged Veterans (for the most part) have:

1.  A documented work history (Enlisted evaluations and fitreps)

2.  Have shown up to work on time for "x" number of years (hence the honorable discharge and good evals/fitreps)

3.  Are clean from dope

4.  Are pretty well disciplined

5.  Are pretty well motivated

6.  Know what it means to have a mission and do whatever it takes to complete it

7.  Need little to no supervision

8.  Have maturity and experience that only comes with being responsible for other peoples lives and millions of dollars worth of taxpayer hardware

9.  Can adapt to their environment and succeed

10.  Aren't emotionally stunted children (ie YOU)

11.  Take great pride in everything they do


Oh, for the record, "Marines" is spelled with a capital "M".  Tell a Marine that it's not and you're liable to get a little bit of that pride thing up the side of your head.

[crockspot]

Haha, I have a phone interview in about thirty minutes. I will be sitting in my underwear, unbathed. 

Well I got offered the job over the phone, so being smelly in your underwear certainly works! Try it, DUmmies!

[JohnnyReb]

Ooh.....naplam.

[true_blood]

You know, this just wears me that hell out.

Let me explain something to you, superDUmbass - Employers like to hire former and retired Military!  Unlike you slack jawed DUmp faggots, honorably discharged Veterans (for the most part) have:

1.  A documented work history (Enlisted evaluations and fitreps)

2.  Have shown up to work on time for "x" number of years (hence the honorable discharge and good evals/fitreps)

3.  Are clean from dope

4.  Are pretty well disciplined

5.  Are pretty well motivated

6.  Know what it means to have a mission and do whatever it takes to complete it

7.  Need little to no supervision

8.  Have maturity and experience that only comes with being responsible for other peoples lives and millions of dollars worth of taxpayer hardware

9.  Can adapt to their environment and succeed

10.  Aren't emotionally stunted children (ie YOU)

11.  Take great pride in everything they do


Oh, for the record, "Marines" is spelled with a capital "M".  Tell a Marine that it's not and you're liable to get a little bit of that pride thing up the side of your head.

Great reply!

[AllosaursRus]

Ooh.....naplam.

Okay, WTF is "naplam"?

[USA4ME]

cynatnite

What is your best job interview advice?

Remember that you are a liberal.  Given that fact, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

.

[dandi]

Great reply!

Thanks!