magical thyme (6,586 posts)
15. my house and my entire farm. long story ensues...
I smudged my farmhouse right when I moved in, but it wasn't until after the excavator's dump truck piston fell through the cab, and he swore he must have disturbed an Indian grave or something, plus a bunch of other freaky stuff happened, that I decided I needed to sage the entire property.
So I took my new, very nice, bundle of sage in a bowl, and walked the perimeter of my farm waving the purifying smoke around. As I reached the back of my farm I swore I could hear voices: men laughing that they were gonna "cut her down to size!" And then my bowl of sage erupted into flames! I ran across the pasture gripping my flaming bowl of sage in my fingertips, until I got to my horse's waterbucket, dropped the bowl on the ground and drowned it. My fingertips were pretty sore and my eyebrows singed.
I tried saging the back pasture 2 more times, and the new sage repeatedly erupted in flames, which I had to put out. Each subsequent bonfire was a little smaller than the last, and eventually I was able to just smoke the perimeter without all the theatrics.
That was 10+ years ago. I haven't tried saging since...
The problem was most probably the bowl but could have possibly been the sage. I’ve tried to explain this to them before, but they refuse to listen. I don’t know how I can be expected to fictionally spirit guide people who are too stupid to use common sense. Thankfully I am a very patient fictional spirit-guide and will once more attempt to guide them on proper saging.
The bowl can not be any old bowl that you found when you accidentally (or was forced) to go to Walmart. Such bowls are either made with man-made materials or made using machines. Both ruin the purpose of the sage ritual and actually piss off the spirits of the earth.
The bowl MUST be “of the earth’ for the ritual to be successful. By ‘of the earth’ I mean a bowl of earthen clay made by hand. If such a bowl can not be found it is also acceptable to use one of those taco shell bowls that are sometimes used for taco salads.
As I said, using the wrong bowl will piss off the spirits, and, in their anger, they are prone to affect your mind. They can make you act stupid and make you congregate with stupid people.
You say the saging incident happened 10+ years ago? How long ago did you join DU?
In addition to the importance of the bowl, it is also important that the sage be probably cleansed before the ritual is attempted.
The best way to cleanse the sage is to find a place where non-believers congregate. A Tea Party rally would be an excellent choice. Take the sage as close as possible to the center of the group of non-believers, hold the sage into the air, and loudly chant “Ogla-fi, Dose-Daâ€. This chant will cause any impurities to flow from the sage into the non-believers.
With the now purified sage and your earth-friendly bowl you can sage away without flaming eruptions and pissed off earth spirits.
